How To Be a Furry
How To Be a Furry, created in March 2006 by artist Jonn Wood, is a satirical multimedia article about the furry fandom, currently hosted online primarily on Crush! Yiff! Destroy!.
Contents
Premise[edit]
The article, intending to explain the many intricacies of the furry fandom to an otherwise uninitiated (but interested) subject, ends up lampooning much of the fandom through several subjects, including fursonas, role-playing, furotica, and many of the stereotypes of the furry fandom.
In spite of the article's tone, there is useful information for new members of the fandom to glean from it, such as an idea of stereotyped traits and behaviors to avoid, as well as a list of locations where other furs are likely to be found.
Much of the article focuses on creating your own fursona and representing that fursona throughout the fandom.
Topics covered[edit]
Hermaphrodites are a running gag in the article, mentioned often due to their popularity within the furry fandom and Yiff.
"Why be a furry?"[edit]
| ...you'll get to see lots of cool art, mock all kinds of drama, get paid hundreds for your overpriced art, and feel the warm glow of fraternity with hundreds of thousands like you and/or having cybersex with a hermaphrodite wolftaur. |
A general introduction to the fandom (and some of its downsides)
"Your fursona and you"[edit]
| It is important that you study the current trends in the Fandom in order to outfit your fursona with a competitive list of features. Given the mercurial tastes of the fandom, this may require market research and a focus group. However, if you had either, you probably wouldn't be a furry. |
An extensive but tongue-in-cheek guide to creating your own fursona (however outrageous it may be). Includes species selection guides (based on sexuality and gender identity), color schemes, clothing, and other notable details.
"Furry attitude"[edit]
| Remember, it's always fursecution. If your gay furry porn gets deleted from deviantART, it's because it's gay and furry. Not because it violates dA's rules on pornography, which you agreed to when joining; it's discrimination. Remember to make a thread in the wrong forum complaining about it, and wank so hard — pun intended — that you get banned. Then sniffle about it on your LJ. |
One of the more scathing sections, detailing several stereotypical personalities in the furry fandom, including "wanky artists'," "closet furs," and the "oppressed."
"Furry publicity"[edit]
| Remember, the guiding principle of furdickery (and homosexual activists, by some strange coincidence) is that you are right no matter how outrageous your behavior, and anyone who says elsewise is a dick and a hater. |
Another controversial section, detailing how to perform several "drama-inducing techniques" such as creating unusual fetishes, stealing art, and "leaving the fandom forever".
"Art, fic, RP"[edit]
| As an artist, you want to impress on everyone your originality, regardless of whether it actually exists. You want to appear humble and dedicated.
You do this by drawing lots of yiff art. |
A look at how to draw, write, and role-play your fursona for maximum "effect." Includes a list of handy euphemisms for genitalia.
External links[edit]
- How To Be a Furry, hosted on deviantART
- How To Be a Furry, hosted on SydFurFags.info