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		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;I torture furries and take them to the fuhrer: {{short description|Communist Romania strict rules}} {{redirect|Censorship in Romania|censorship in present-day Romania|Media of Romania#Censorship}} {{Censorship by country}} '''Censorship in Communist Romania''' occurred during the [[Socialist Republic&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;{{short description|Communist Romania strict rules}}&lt;br /&gt;
{{redirect|Censorship in Romania|censorship in present-day Romania|Media of Romania#Censorship}}&lt;br /&gt;
{{Censorship by country}}&lt;br /&gt;
'''Censorship in Communist Romania''' occurred during the [[Socialist Republic of Romania|Socialist Republic]] in two stages: under the first Communist president [[Gheorghe Gheorghiu-Dej]] (1947-1965) and the second and last Communist president [[Nicolae Ceaușescu]] (1965-1989).&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Groza government (1945–1947)==&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Petru Groza]] became the [[Prime Minister of Romania|Prime Minister]] in 1945, and under [[Soviet occupation of Romania|Soviet occupation]], his government started to communize Romania. Citizens' Committees were formed to assist the police, and thus, it was justified for these committees and the police to randomly check people's documents on the street, to search people's home without any notification and to inspect suspicious billeting refugees or Soviet officers.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Deletant&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite book |last=Deletant |first=Dennis |title=Communist terror in Romania: Gheorghiu-Dej and the Police State, 1948-1965 |date=1999 |publisher=[[C. Hurst &amp;amp; Co.]] |isbn=1850653860 |location=London |author-link=Dennis Deletant}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; There was also widespread violent repression and abrupt communization of the country in [[Socialist Republic of Romania|Romania]] in the context of post-World War II.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Ciobanu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; The supporters of the communist regime labeled the group of opponents as fascists, criminals, or anti-national components under Western interests, and blamed those opponents for destabilizing the country. Groza himself told the British journalists in 1945 that about 90,000 Romanians had been arrested in two months right after he seized the power.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Deletant&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; Groza also tried to get rid of the final obstacle to complete Soviet domination of Romania: overthrowing the [[Kingdom of Romania]] run by [[King of Romania|King]] [[Michael I of Romania|Michael]]. In the last half of 1947, King Michael was still on the regime while Soviet had so much power on Romanian economy.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Cleveland&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite web|last=Cleveland|first=Robert|title=Country and Subject Reader Series, Romania|url=http://adst.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Romania.pdf|website=Association for Diplomatic Studies and Training}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; Though pre-war Romania showed some features of democracy such as a constitution, a parliament, political parties etc., it still had a king and was politically oligarchic. As the King Michael continuously refused to abdicate the throne, Groza threatened him with the civil war. Michael wanted to avoid the bloodshed and he gave in on 30 December 1947, and on that same day, the Romanian People's Republic was declared.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Cleveland&amp;quot;/&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
== Under Gheorghe Gheorghiu-Dej (1947–1965) ==&lt;br /&gt;
As the Romanian People's Republic was declared, [[Gheorghe Gheorghiu-Dej]] became the first president of the country and the Communist politicians, including himself, were eager to establish the foundation of the totalitarian state. As a first step, on 4 February 1948, a Treaty of Friendship, Cooperation and Mutual Assistance between Romania and the Soviet Union was signed.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Deletant&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; Soviet Union became a more influent power in Romania territory after this treaty was signed and Gheorghe carried out terrifying tasks, all imposed by Soviet Russia. As the communism became widespread in Romania (backed up by the Soviet Union), there was a strong censorship throughout political, economic, and cultural sectors in the Romanian society.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
When it comes to the cultural sector, the communist regime of Romania often used party-state propaganda to erase all the symbols and artifacts of the pre-communist era which could have remained in people's mind.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Ciobanu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; The communist party activists started the control of art &amp;quot;to eliminate and erase all traces of the previous configuration&amp;quot; and to dismantle the previous institutional model, etc.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Preda&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; The communist Romanian government not only got rid of all the previous institutions and art legacies which were founded in the pre-communist era, but also physically eliminated many actors, musicians, painters etc. As Romania established the Soviet model of communization process, it was taken for granted for authorities to impose &amp;quot;physical (arrests, killings, institutional purges) and psychological repression (terror, corruption, compromise)&amp;quot;.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Preda&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite web|last1=Preda|first1=Caterina|title=Chile and Romania: Censorship in Dictatorships|url=http://www.fairobserver.com/region/europe/chile-and-romania-censorship-in-dictatorships-14067/|website=Fair Observer|date=August 2014 }}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; In the meantime, the communist Romanian government announced lists of forbidden volumes between 1944 and 1948 along with the lists of forbidden writers. For the institutional level, the last thing Romanian government wanted was intellectuals who could be possible insurgents. Thus, government authorities expelled professors and students from universities and never let them come back again.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Preda&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; At the same time, the “Cominform Journal” was published under the Communist Party's supervision and this was delivered all around the world as the journal was published in many languages.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Williams&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite web|last1=Williams|first1=Murat|title=Country and Subject Reader Series, Romania|url=http://adst.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Romania.pdf|website=Association for Diplomatic Studies and Training}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; Cominform Journal specifically dealt with communism and was used to teach and spread the ideology all over the world and what were the right things to do under communism.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Williams&amp;quot;/&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
In regards to the political sector, to suppress the prevalent anti-communism and anti-Sovietism at that time, communist regime implemented many censorships everywhere in Romania, e.g. military force was mobilized to dismantle anti-communist movement.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Ciobanu&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite journal|last=Ciobanu|first=Monica|title=Remembering the Romanian Anti-Communist Armed Resistance: An Analysis of Local Lived Experience|journal=Eurostudia|volume=10|issue=1|year=2015|pages=105–123|doi=10.7202/1033884ar|doi-access=free}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; The people who were involved in resistance movements were hunted down by the authorities and usually incarcerated. There was religious persecution in Romania when it comes to Greek Catholics.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Ciobanu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; As Romania became part of the communist bloc after World War II, the Romanian Communist Party considered religion as a capitalist remnant, which could make people confused about the country's ideology.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;{{cite journal|last1=Stan|first1=Lavinia|last2=Lucian|first2=Turcescu|title=The Romanian Orthodox Church and Post-communist Democratisation|date=2000|publisher=Europe - Asia Studies 52|pages=1467–488|edition=no. 8}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; Despite this, the Romanian Communist Party still wanted to keep churches as the party thought that religion could be used to mobilize people and thus, to achieve the party's socioeconomic and political goals. Under communism, the church and the Communist party made a contract: the party would not repress the church in exchange for its unconditional supports. However, the church was still not allowed to pursue educational and charitable activities. There was even a patrimonial investigation made by authorities which claims that some people were punished for what their ancestors or kinship did.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Ciobanu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; People could have been prisoned just for having relatives abroad or making a joke against communism.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;vianu&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite book |last1=Vianu |first1=Lidia |title=Censorship in Romania |date=1998 |publisher=[[Central European University|Central European University Press]] |isbn=9639116092 |location=Budapest}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; In addition, the Romanian government limited the number of Americans to stay in the country.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Williams&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; Though Romania back then had some American ambassadors or politicians in its own territories, the movements of those Americans were severely restricted by the Romanian government.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Williams&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; Foreign diplomats were not allowed to travel around the country without special permission or to go near the [[Black Sea]] coast.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Mark&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite web|last1=Mark|first1=David|title=Country and Subject Reader Series, Romania|url=http://adst.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Romania.pdf|website=Association for Diplomatic Studies and Training}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; The Romanian government ruthlessly harassed people who had contact with American delegates. The government actually murdered a person, part of the local staff, by pumping too much Sodium pentothal, the truth drug, into her as a punishment for being associated with the American legations.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Mark&amp;quot;/&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Speaking of the economic sector, the Soviet Union had taken control of Romania's economy by creating about 20-22 [[SovRom|Soviet-Romanian joint companies]], including the airline company, the steel mills, the insurance company, road transport, harbors, etc.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Mark&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; The Soviets at that time seems to thoroughly dominate the East European area.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Virtually every published document, be it a newspaper article or a book, had to pass the censor's approval. The strictness of the censorship varied with time, the tightest being during the Stalinist era of the 1950s and the loosest during the early period of [[Nicolae Ceaușescu]]'s rule, which ended with the [[July Theses]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The purpose of the censorship apparatus was to subordinate all the aspects of the [[Romanian culture]] (including literature, history, art and philosophy) to the [[Romanian Communist Party|Communist Party]]'s ideology. All features of the Romanian culture were reinterpreted according to the regime's ideology, and any other interpretations were banned as forms of &amp;quot;bourgeois decadence&amp;quot;.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;{{cite book|first=Vladimir |last=Tismăneanu|author-link= Vladimir Tismăneanu|url=https://books.google.com/books?id=VemOBAAAQBAJ|title=Stalinism pentru eternitate|publisher= [[Polirom]]|location= Iași|year= 2005|isbn=973-681-899-3|page=147}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
== Under Nicolae Ceaușescu (1965–1989) ==&lt;br /&gt;
{{Original research|date=May 2022}}&lt;br /&gt;
Under Ceaușescu's second communist Romanian regime, propagandist material was the only available information to the public across the country and even this propagandist material (spread mostly via the national television and the party's newspapers) was controlled by the regime through its methods of sanction.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Lamasanu&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite journal|last1=Lămășanu|first1=Ștefana|title=Capturing the Romanian Revolution: Violent Imagery, Affect and the Televisual Event|journal=ProQuest Dissertations and Theses|date=2011}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; Since the mobilization of the population through written material was almost impossible, unofficial information was going around through gossips. Many foreign movies, music and books were also banned. At the same time, Nicolae Ceaușescu terrorized the population by obliging it to see his and [[Elena Ceaușescu|his wife]]'s portrait everywhere: &amp;quot;From pre-kindergarten classrooms to official offices, the walls of every institution in every corner of the country were required to be adorned with photographs of the couple&amp;quot;.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Lamasanu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; Ceaușescu purposely destroyed individual privacy.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;vianu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; From the mid-80s, due to the [[1980s austerity policy in Romania|austerity policy]] imposed by Ceaușescu, Romanians had limited access to electricity, heat and water, and also food was scarce.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Since 1990==&lt;br /&gt;
Since 1990 state censorship does not officially exist in Romania and attempts by state organizations have been only minor. The only high-profile state action was in the Armagedon scandal, when a citizen was arrested for e-mailing reports that were seen as damaging to then Prime Minister [[Adrian Năstase]]'s image.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;{{Cite web|url=http://www.freeex.ro/rapoarte/c/Conditia |title=Condiția libertății presei în România |publisher=Agenția de Monitorizare a Presei - Academia Cațavencu |url-status=bot: unknown |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20070928024943/http://www.freeex.ro/rapoarte/c/Conditia%20libertatii%20presei%202001%20-%202002.pdf |archive-date=2007-09-28}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; The official accusation was spreading of false information, but the accusations have been dropped.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Notes==&lt;br /&gt;
{{reflist}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Further reading==&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Liliana Corobca]], [https://books.google.com/books?id=9-wwAwAAQBAJ ''Controlul cǎrții. Cenzura literaturii în regimul comunist din România''], [[Polirom]], Iași, 2014, {{ISBN|978-973-23-3064-7}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Censorship in Romania| ]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Censorship in the Eastern Bloc]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Socialist Republic of Romania]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Romanian literature]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Cultural history of Romania]]&lt;br /&gt;
{{short description|Communist Romania strict rules}}&lt;br /&gt;
{{redirect|Censorship in Romania|censorship in present-day Romania|Media of Romania#Censorship}}&lt;br /&gt;
{{Censorship by country}}&lt;br /&gt;
'''Censorship in Communist Romania''' occurred during the [[Socialist Republic of Romania|Socialist Republic]] in two stages: under the first Communist president [[Gheorghe Gheorghiu-Dej]] (1947-1965) and the second and last Communist president [[Nicolae Ceaușescu]] (1965-1989).&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Groza government (1945–1947)==&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Petru Groza]] became the [[Prime Minister of Romania|Prime Minister]] in 1945, and under [[Soviet occupation of Romania|Soviet occupation]], his government started to communize Romania. Citizens' Committees were formed to assist the police, and thus, it was justified for these committees and the police to randomly check people's documents on the street, to search people's home without any notification and to inspect suspicious billeting refugees or Soviet officers.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Deletant&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite book |last=Deletant |first=Dennis |title=Communist terror in Romania: Gheorghiu-Dej and the Police State, 1948-1965 |date=1999 |publisher=[[C. Hurst &amp;amp; Co.]] |isbn=1850653860 |location=London |author-link=Dennis Deletant}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; There was also widespread violent repression and abrupt communization of the country in [[Socialist Republic of Romania|Romania]] in the context of post-World War II.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Ciobanu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; The supporters of the communist regime labeled the group of opponents as fascists, criminals, or anti-national components under Western interests, and blamed those opponents for destabilizing the country. Groza himself told the British journalists in 1945 that about 90,000 Romanians had been arrested in two months right after he seized the power.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Deletant&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; Groza also tried to get rid of the final obstacle to complete Soviet domination of Romania: overthrowing the [[Kingdom of Romania]] run by [[King of Romania|King]] [[Michael I of Romania|Michael]]. In the last half of 1947, King Michael was still on the regime while Soviet had so much power on Romanian economy.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Cleveland&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite web|last=Cleveland|first=Robert|title=Country and Subject Reader Series, Romania|url=http://adst.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Romania.pdf|website=Association for Diplomatic Studies and Training}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; Though pre-war Romania showed some features of democracy such as a constitution, a parliament, political parties etc., it still had a king and was politically oligarchic. As the King Michael continuously refused to abdicate the throne, Groza threatened him with the civil war. Michael wanted to avoid the bloodshed and he gave in on 30 December 1947, and on that same day, the Romanian People's Republic was declared.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Cleveland&amp;quot;/&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
== Under Gheorghe Gheorghiu-Dej (1947–1965) ==&lt;br /&gt;
As the Romanian People's Republic was declared, [[Gheorghe Gheorghiu-Dej]] became the first president of the country and the Communist politicians, including himself, were eager to establish the foundation of the totalitarian state. As a first step, on 4 February 1948, a Treaty of Friendship, Cooperation and Mutual Assistance between Romania and the Soviet Union was signed.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Deletant&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; Soviet Union became a more influent power in Romania territory after this treaty was signed and Gheorghe carried out terrifying tasks, all imposed by Soviet Russia. As the communism became widespread in Romania (backed up by the Soviet Union), there was a strong censorship throughout political, economic, and cultural sectors in the Romanian society.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
When it comes to the cultural sector, the communist regime of Romania often used party-state propaganda to erase all the symbols and artifacts of the pre-communist era which could have remained in people's mind.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Ciobanu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; The communist party activists started the control of art &amp;quot;to eliminate and erase all traces of the previous configuration&amp;quot; and to dismantle the previous institutional model, etc.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Preda&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; The communist Romanian government not only got rid of all the previous institutions and art legacies which were founded in the pre-communist era, but also physically eliminated many actors, musicians, painters etc. As Romania established the Soviet model of communization process, it was taken for granted for authorities to impose &amp;quot;physical (arrests, killings, institutional purges) and psychological repression (terror, corruption, compromise)&amp;quot;.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Preda&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite web|last1=Preda|first1=Caterina|title=Chile and Romania: Censorship in Dictatorships|url=http://www.fairobserver.com/region/europe/chile-and-romania-censorship-in-dictatorships-14067/|website=Fair Observer|date=August 2014 }}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; In the meantime, the communist Romanian government announced lists of forbidden volumes between 1944 and 1948 along with the lists of forbidden writers. For the institutional level, the last thing Romanian government wanted was intellectuals who could be possible insurgents. Thus, government authorities expelled professors and students from universities and never let them come back again.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Preda&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; At the same time, the “Cominform Journal” was published under the Communist Party's supervision and this was delivered all around the world as the journal was published in many languages.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Williams&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite web|last1=Williams|first1=Murat|title=Country and Subject Reader Series, Romania|url=http://adst.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Romania.pdf|website=Association for Diplomatic Studies and Training}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; Cominform Journal specifically dealt with communism and was used to teach and spread the ideology all over the world and what were the right things to do under communism.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Williams&amp;quot;/&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
In regards to the political sector, to suppress the prevalent anti-communism and anti-Sovietism at that time, communist regime implemented many censorships everywhere in Romania, e.g. military force was mobilized to dismantle anti-communist movement.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Ciobanu&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite journal|last=Ciobanu|first=Monica|title=Remembering the Romanian Anti-Communist Armed Resistance: An Analysis of Local Lived Experience|journal=Eurostudia|volume=10|issue=1|year=2015|pages=105–123|doi=10.7202/1033884ar|doi-access=free}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; The people who were involved in resistance movements were hunted down by the authorities and usually incarcerated. There was religious persecution in Romania when it comes to Greek Catholics.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Ciobanu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; As Romania became part of the communist bloc after World War II, the Romanian Communist Party considered religion as a capitalist remnant, which could make people confused about the country's ideology.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;{{cite journal|last1=Stan|first1=Lavinia|last2=Lucian|first2=Turcescu|title=The Romanian Orthodox Church and Post-communist Democratisation|date=2000|publisher=Europe - Asia Studies 52|pages=1467–488|edition=no. 8}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; Despite this, the Romanian Communist Party still wanted to keep churches as the party thought that religion could be used to mobilize people and thus, to achieve the party's socioeconomic and political goals. Under communism, the church and the Communist party made a contract: the party would not repress the church in exchange for its unconditional supports. However, the church was still not allowed to pursue educational and charitable activities. There was even a patrimonial investigation made by authorities which claims that some people were punished for what their ancestors or kinship did.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Ciobanu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; People could have been prisoned just for having relatives abroad or making a joke against communism.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;vianu&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite book |last1=Vianu |first1=Lidia |title=Censorship in Romania |date=1998 |publisher=[[Central European University|Central European University Press]] |isbn=9639116092 |location=Budapest}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; In addition, the Romanian government limited the number of Americans to stay in the country.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Williams&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; Though Romania back then had some American ambassadors or politicians in its own territories, the movements of those Americans were severely restricted by the Romanian government.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Williams&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; Foreign diplomats were not allowed to travel around the country without special permission or to go near the [[Black Sea]] coast.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Mark&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite web|last1=Mark|first1=David|title=Country and Subject Reader Series, Romania|url=http://adst.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Romania.pdf|website=Association for Diplomatic Studies and Training}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; The Romanian government ruthlessly harassed people who had contact with American delegates. The government actually murdered a person, part of the local staff, by pumping too much Sodium pentothal, the truth drug, into her as a punishment for being associated with the American legations.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Mark&amp;quot;/&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Speaking of the economic sector, the Soviet Union had taken control of Romania's economy by creating about 20-22 [[SovRom|Soviet-Romanian joint companies]], including the airline company, the steel mills, the insurance company, road transport, harbors, etc.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Mark&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; The Soviets at that time seems to thoroughly dominate the East European area.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Virtually every published document, be it a newspaper article or a book, had to pass the censor's approval. The strictness of the censorship varied with time, the tightest being during the Stalinist era of the 1950s and the loosest during the early period of [[Nicolae Ceaușescu]]'s rule, which ended with the [[July Theses]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The purpose of the censorship apparatus was to subordinate all the aspects of the [[Romanian culture]] (including literature, history, art and philosophy) to the [[Romanian Communist Party|Communist Party]]'s ideology. All features of the Romanian culture were reinterpreted according to the regime's ideology, and any other interpretations were banned as forms of &amp;quot;bourgeois decadence&amp;quot;.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;{{cite book|first=Vladimir |last=Tismăneanu|author-link= Vladimir Tismăneanu|url=https://books.google.com/books?id=VemOBAAAQBAJ|title=Stalinism pentru eternitate|publisher= [[Polirom]]|location= Iași|year= 2005|isbn=973-681-899-3|page=147}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
== Under Nicolae Ceaușescu (1965–1989) ==&lt;br /&gt;
{{Original research|date=May 2022}}&lt;br /&gt;
Under Ceaușescu's second communist Romanian regime, propagandist material was the only available information to the public across the country and even this propagandist material (spread mostly via the national television and the party's newspapers) was controlled by the regime through its methods of sanction.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Lamasanu&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite journal|last1=Lămășanu|first1=Ștefana|title=Capturing the Romanian Revolution: Violent Imagery, Affect and the Televisual Event|journal=ProQuest Dissertations and Theses|date=2011}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; Since the mobilization of the population through written material was almost impossible, unofficial information was going around through gossips. Many foreign movies, music and books were also banned. At the same time, Nicolae Ceaușescu terrorized the population by obliging it to see his and [[Elena Ceaușescu|his wife]]'s portrait everywhere: &amp;quot;From pre-kindergarten classrooms to official offices, the walls of every institution in every corner of the country were required to be adorned with photographs of the couple&amp;quot;.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Lamasanu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; Ceaușescu purposely destroyed individual privacy.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;vianu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; From the mid-80s, due to the [[1980s austerity policy in Romania|austerity policy]] imposed by Ceaușescu, Romanians had limited access to electricity, heat and water, and also food was scarce.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Since 1990==&lt;br /&gt;
Since 1990 state censorship does not officially exist in Romania and attempts by state organizations have been only minor. The only high-profile state action was in the Armagedon scandal, when a citizen was arrested for e-mailing reports that were seen as damaging to then Prime Minister [[Adrian Năstase]]'s image.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;{{Cite web|url=http://www.freeex.ro/rapoarte/c/Conditia |title=Condiția libertății presei în România |publisher=Agenția de Monitorizare a Presei - Academia Cațavencu |url-status=bot: unknown |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20070928024943/http://www.freeex.ro/rapoarte/c/Conditia%20libertatii%20presei%202001%20-%202002.pdf |archive-date=2007-09-28}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; The official accusation was spreading of false information, but the accusations have been dropped.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Notes==&lt;br /&gt;
{{reflist}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Further reading==&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Liliana Corobca]], [https://books.google.com/books?id=9-wwAwAAQBAJ ''Controlul cǎrții. Cenzura literaturii în regimul comunist din România''], [[Polirom]], Iași, 2014, {{ISBN|978-973-23-3064-7}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Censorship in Romania| ]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Censorship in the Eastern Bloc]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Socialist Republic of Romania]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Romanian literature]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Cultural history of Romania]]&lt;br /&gt;
{{short description|Communist Romania strict rules}}&lt;br /&gt;
{{redirect|Censorship in Romania|censorship in present-day Romania|Media of Romania#Censorship}}&lt;br /&gt;
{{Censorship by country}}&lt;br /&gt;
'''Censorship in Communist Romania''' occurred during the [[Socialist Republic of Romania|Socialist Republic]] in two stages: under the first Communist president [[Gheorghe Gheorghiu-Dej]] (1947-1965) and the second and last Communist president [[Nicolae Ceaușescu]] (1965-1989).&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Groza government (1945–1947)==&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Petru Groza]] became the [[Prime Minister of Romania|Prime Minister]] in 1945, and under [[Soviet occupation of Romania|Soviet occupation]], his government started to communize Romania. Citizens' Committees were formed to assist the police, and thus, it was justified for these committees and the police to randomly check people's documents on the street, to search people's home without any notification and to inspect suspicious billeting refugees or Soviet officers.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Deletant&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite book |last=Deletant |first=Dennis |title=Communist terror in Romania: Gheorghiu-Dej and the Police State, 1948-1965 |date=1999 |publisher=[[C. Hurst &amp;amp; Co.]] |isbn=1850653860 |location=London |author-link=Dennis Deletant}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; There was also widespread violent repression and abrupt communization of the country in [[Socialist Republic of Romania|Romania]] in the context of post-World War II.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Ciobanu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; The supporters of the communist regime labeled the group of opponents as fascists, criminals, or anti-national components under Western interests, and blamed those opponents for destabilizing the country. Groza himself told the British journalists in 1945 that about 90,000 Romanians had been arrested in two months right after he seized the power.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Deletant&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; Groza also tried to get rid of the final obstacle to complete Soviet domination of Romania: overthrowing the [[Kingdom of Romania]] run by [[King of Romania|King]] [[Michael I of Romania|Michael]]. In the last half of 1947, King Michael was still on the regime while Soviet had so much power on Romanian economy.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Cleveland&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite web|last=Cleveland|first=Robert|title=Country and Subject Reader Series, Romania|url=http://adst.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Romania.pdf|website=Association for Diplomatic Studies and Training}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; Though pre-war Romania showed some features of democracy such as a constitution, a parliament, political parties etc., it still had a king and was politically oligarchic. As the King Michael continuously refused to abdicate the throne, Groza threatened him with the civil war. Michael wanted to avoid the bloodshed and he gave in on 30 December 1947, and on that same day, the Romanian People's Republic was declared.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Cleveland&amp;quot;/&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
== Under Gheorghe Gheorghiu-Dej (1947–1965) ==&lt;br /&gt;
As the Romanian People's Republic was declared, [[Gheorghe Gheorghiu-Dej]] became the first president of the country and the Communist politicians, including himself, were eager to establish the foundation of the totalitarian state. As a first step, on 4 February 1948, a Treaty of Friendship, Cooperation and Mutual Assistance between Romania and the Soviet Union was signed.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Deletant&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; Soviet Union became a more influent power in Romania territory after this treaty was signed and Gheorghe carried out terrifying tasks, all imposed by Soviet Russia. As the communism became widespread in Romania (backed up by the Soviet Union), there was a strong censorship throughout political, economic, and cultural sectors in the Romanian society.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
When it comes to the cultural sector, the communist regime of Romania often used party-state propaganda to erase all the symbols and artifacts of the pre-communist era which could have remained in people's mind.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Ciobanu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; The communist party activists started the control of art &amp;quot;to eliminate and erase all traces of the previous configuration&amp;quot; and to dismantle the previous institutional model, etc.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Preda&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; The communist Romanian government not only got rid of all the previous institutions and art legacies which were founded in the pre-communist era, but also physically eliminated many actors, musicians, painters etc. As Romania established the Soviet model of communization process, it was taken for granted for authorities to impose &amp;quot;physical (arrests, killings, institutional purges) and psychological repression (terror, corruption, compromise)&amp;quot;.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Preda&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite web|last1=Preda|first1=Caterina|title=Chile and Romania: Censorship in Dictatorships|url=http://www.fairobserver.com/region/europe/chile-and-romania-censorship-in-dictatorships-14067/|website=Fair Observer|date=August 2014 }}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; In the meantime, the communist Romanian government announced lists of forbidden volumes between 1944 and 1948 along with the lists of forbidden writers. For the institutional level, the last thing Romanian government wanted was intellectuals who could be possible insurgents. Thus, government authorities expelled professors and students from universities and never let them come back again.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Preda&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; At the same time, the “Cominform Journal” was published under the Communist Party's supervision and this was delivered all around the world as the journal was published in many languages.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Williams&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite web|last1=Williams|first1=Murat|title=Country and Subject Reader Series, Romania|url=http://adst.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Romania.pdf|website=Association for Diplomatic Studies and Training}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; Cominform Journal specifically dealt with communism and was used to teach and spread the ideology all over the world and what were the right things to do under communism.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Williams&amp;quot;/&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
In regards to the political sector, to suppress the prevalent anti-communism and anti-Sovietism at that time, communist regime implemented many censorships everywhere in Romania, e.g. military force was mobilized to dismantle anti-communist movement.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Ciobanu&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite journal|last=Ciobanu|first=Monica|title=Remembering the Romanian Anti-Communist Armed Resistance: An Analysis of Local Lived Experience|journal=Eurostudia|volume=10|issue=1|year=2015|pages=105–123|doi=10.7202/1033884ar|doi-access=free}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; The people who were involved in resistance movements were hunted down by the authorities and usually incarcerated. There was religious persecution in Romania when it comes to Greek Catholics.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Ciobanu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; As Romania became part of the communist bloc after World War II, the Romanian Communist Party considered religion as a capitalist remnant, which could make people confused about the country's ideology.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;{{cite journal|last1=Stan|first1=Lavinia|last2=Lucian|first2=Turcescu|title=The Romanian Orthodox Church and Post-communist Democratisation|date=2000|publisher=Europe - Asia Studies 52|pages=1467–488|edition=no. 8}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; Despite this, the Romanian Communist Party still wanted to keep churches as the party thought that religion could be used to mobilize people and thus, to achieve the party's socioeconomic and political goals. Under communism, the church and the Communist party made a contract: the party would not repress the church in exchange for its unconditional supports. However, the church was still not allowed to pursue educational and charitable activities. There was even a patrimonial investigation made by authorities which claims that some people were punished for what their ancestors or kinship did.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Ciobanu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; People could have been prisoned just for having relatives abroad or making a joke against communism.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;vianu&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite book |last1=Vianu |first1=Lidia |title=Censorship in Romania |date=1998 |publisher=[[Central European University|Central European University Press]] |isbn=9639116092 |location=Budapest}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; In addition, the Romanian government limited the number of Americans to stay in the country.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Williams&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; Though Romania back then had some American ambassadors or politicians in its own territories, the movements of those Americans were severely restricted by the Romanian government.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Williams&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; Foreign diplomats were not allowed to travel around the country without special permission or to go near the [[Black Sea]] coast.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Mark&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite web|last1=Mark|first1=David|title=Country and Subject Reader Series, Romania|url=http://adst.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Romania.pdf|website=Association for Diplomatic Studies and Training}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; The Romanian government ruthlessly harassed people who had contact with American delegates. The government actually murdered a person, part of the local staff, by pumping too much Sodium pentothal, the truth drug, into her as a punishment for being associated with the American legations.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Mark&amp;quot;/&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Speaking of the economic sector, the Soviet Union had taken control of Romania's economy by creating about 20-22 [[SovRom|Soviet-Romanian joint companies]], including the airline company, the steel mills, the insurance company, road transport, harbors, etc.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Mark&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; The Soviets at that time seems to thoroughly dominate the East European area.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Virtually every published document, be it a newspaper article or a book, had to pass the censor's approval. The strictness of the censorship varied with time, the tightest being during the Stalinist era of the 1950s and the loosest during the early period of [[Nicolae Ceaușescu]]'s rule, which ended with the [[July Theses]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The purpose of the censorship apparatus was to subordinate all the aspects of the [[Romanian culture]] (including literature, history, art and philosophy) to the [[Romanian Communist Party|Communist Party]]'s ideology. All features of the Romanian culture were reinterpreted according to the regime's ideology, and any other interpretations were banned as forms of &amp;quot;bourgeois decadence&amp;quot;.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;{{cite book|first=Vladimir |last=Tismăneanu|author-link= Vladimir Tismăneanu|url=https://books.google.com/books?id=VemOBAAAQBAJ|title=Stalinism pentru eternitate|publisher= [[Polirom]]|location= Iași|year= 2005|isbn=973-681-899-3|page=147}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
== Under Nicolae Ceaușescu (1965–1989) ==&lt;br /&gt;
{{Original research|date=May 2022}}&lt;br /&gt;
Under Ceaușescu's second communist Romanian regime, propagandist material was the only available information to the public across the country and even this propagandist material (spread mostly via the national television and the party's newspapers) was controlled by the regime through its methods of sanction.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Lamasanu&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite journal|last1=Lămășanu|first1=Ștefana|title=Capturing the Romanian Revolution: Violent Imagery, Affect and the Televisual Event|journal=ProQuest Dissertations and Theses|date=2011}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; Since the mobilization of the population through written material was almost impossible, unofficial information was going around through gossips. Many foreign movies, music and books were also banned. At the same time, Nicolae Ceaușescu terrorized the population by obliging it to see his and [[Elena Ceaușescu|his wife]]'s portrait everywhere: &amp;quot;From pre-kindergarten classrooms to official offices, the walls of every institution in every corner of the country were required to be adorned with photographs of the couple&amp;quot;.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Lamasanu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; Ceaușescu purposely destroyed individual privacy.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;vianu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; From the mid-80s, due to the [[1980s austerity policy in Romania|austerity policy]] imposed by Ceaușescu, Romanians had limited access to electricity, heat and water, and also food was scarce.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Since 1990==&lt;br /&gt;
Since 1990 state censorship does not officially exist in Romania and attempts by state organizations have been only minor. The only high-profile state action was in the Armagedon scandal, when a citizen was arrested for e-mailing reports that were seen as damaging to then Prime Minister [[Adrian Năstase]]'s image.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;{{Cite web|url=http://www.freeex.ro/rapoarte/c/Conditia |title=Condiția libertății presei în România |publisher=Agenția de Monitorizare a Presei - Academia Cațavencu |url-status=bot: unknown |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20070928024943/http://www.freeex.ro/rapoarte/c/Conditia%20libertatii%20presei%202001%20-%202002.pdf |archive-date=2007-09-28}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; The official accusation was spreading of false information, but the accusations have been dropped.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Notes==&lt;br /&gt;
{{reflist}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Further reading==&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Liliana Corobca]], [https://books.google.com/books?id=9-wwAwAAQBAJ ''Controlul cǎrții. Cenzura literaturii în regimul comunist din România''], [[Polirom]], Iași, 2014, {{ISBN|978-973-23-3064-7}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Censorship in Romania| ]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Censorship in the Eastern Bloc]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Socialist Republic of Romania]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Romanian literature]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Cultural history of Romania]]&lt;br /&gt;
{{short description|Communist Romania strict rules}}&lt;br /&gt;
{{redirect|Censorship in Romania|censorship in present-day Romania|Media of Romania#Censorship}}&lt;br /&gt;
{{Censorship by country}}&lt;br /&gt;
'''Censorship in Communist Romania''' occurred during the [[Socialist Republic of Romania|Socialist Republic]] in two stages: under the first Communist president [[Gheorghe Gheorghiu-Dej]] (1947-1965) and the second and last Communist president [[Nicolae Ceaușescu]] (1965-1989).&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Groza government (1945–1947)==&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Petru Groza]] became the [[Prime Minister of Romania|Prime Minister]] in 1945, and under [[Soviet occupation of Romania|Soviet occupation]], his government started to communize Romania. Citizens' Committees were formed to assist the police, and thus, it was justified for these committees and the police to randomly check people's documents on the street, to search people's home without any notification and to inspect suspicious billeting refugees or Soviet officers.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Deletant&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite book |last=Deletant |first=Dennis |title=Communist terror in Romania: Gheorghiu-Dej and the Police State, 1948-1965 |date=1999 |publisher=[[C. Hurst &amp;amp; Co.]] |isbn=1850653860 |location=London |author-link=Dennis Deletant}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; There was also widespread violent repression and abrupt communization of the country in [[Socialist Republic of Romania|Romania]] in the context of post-World War II.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Ciobanu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; The supporters of the communist regime labeled the group of opponents as fascists, criminals, or anti-national components under Western interests, and blamed those opponents for destabilizing the country. Groza himself told the British journalists in 1945 that about 90,000 Romanians had been arrested in two months right after he seized the power.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Deletant&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; Groza also tried to get rid of the final obstacle to complete Soviet domination of Romania: overthrowing the [[Kingdom of Romania]] run by [[King of Romania|King]] [[Michael I of Romania|Michael]]. In the last half of 1947, King Michael was still on the regime while Soviet had so much power on Romanian economy.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Cleveland&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite web|last=Cleveland|first=Robert|title=Country and Subject Reader Series, Romania|url=http://adst.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Romania.pdf|website=Association for Diplomatic Studies and Training}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; Though pre-war Romania showed some features of democracy such as a constitution, a parliament, political parties etc., it still had a king and was politically oligarchic. As the King Michael continuously refused to abdicate the throne, Groza threatened him with the civil war. Michael wanted to avoid the bloodshed and he gave in on 30 December 1947, and on that same day, the Romanian People's Republic was declared.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Cleveland&amp;quot;/&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
== Under Gheorghe Gheorghiu-Dej (1947–1965) ==&lt;br /&gt;
As the Romanian People's Republic was declared, [[Gheorghe Gheorghiu-Dej]] became the first president of the country and the Communist politicians, including himself, were eager to establish the foundation of the totalitarian state. As a first step, on 4 February 1948, a Treaty of Friendship, Cooperation and Mutual Assistance between Romania and the Soviet Union was signed.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Deletant&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; Soviet Union became a more influent power in Romania territory after this treaty was signed and Gheorghe carried out terrifying tasks, all imposed by Soviet Russia. As the communism became widespread in Romania (backed up by the Soviet Union), there was a strong censorship throughout political, economic, and cultural sectors in the Romanian society.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
When it comes to the cultural sector, the communist regime of Romania often used party-state propaganda to erase all the symbols and artifacts of the pre-communist era which could have remained in people's mind.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Ciobanu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; The communist party activists started the control of art &amp;quot;to eliminate and erase all traces of the previous configuration&amp;quot; and to dismantle the previous institutional model, etc.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Preda&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; The communist Romanian government not only got rid of all the previous institutions and art legacies which were founded in the pre-communist era, but also physically eliminated many actors, musicians, painters etc. As Romania established the Soviet model of communization process, it was taken for granted for authorities to impose &amp;quot;physical (arrests, killings, institutional purges) and psychological repression (terror, corruption, compromise)&amp;quot;.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Preda&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite web|last1=Preda|first1=Caterina|title=Chile and Romania: Censorship in Dictatorships|url=http://www.fairobserver.com/region/europe/chile-and-romania-censorship-in-dictatorships-14067/|website=Fair Observer|date=August 2014 }}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; In the meantime, the communist Romanian government announced lists of forbidden volumes between 1944 and 1948 along with the lists of forbidden writers. For the institutional level, the last thing Romanian government wanted was intellectuals who could be possible insurgents. Thus, government authorities expelled professors and students from universities and never let them come back again.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Preda&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; At the same time, the “Cominform Journal” was published under the Communist Party's supervision and this was delivered all around the world as the journal was published in many languages.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Williams&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite web|last1=Williams|first1=Murat|title=Country and Subject Reader Series, Romania|url=http://adst.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Romania.pdf|website=Association for Diplomatic Studies and Training}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; Cominform Journal specifically dealt with communism and was used to teach and spread the ideology all over the world and what were the right things to do under communism.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Williams&amp;quot;/&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
In regards to the political sector, to suppress the prevalent anti-communism and anti-Sovietism at that time, communist regime implemented many censorships everywhere in Romania, e.g. military force was mobilized to dismantle anti-communist movement.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Ciobanu&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite journal|last=Ciobanu|first=Monica|title=Remembering the Romanian Anti-Communist Armed Resistance: An Analysis of Local Lived Experience|journal=Eurostudia|volume=10|issue=1|year=2015|pages=105–123|doi=10.7202/1033884ar|doi-access=free}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; The people who were involved in resistance movements were hunted down by the authorities and usually incarcerated. There was religious persecution in Romania when it comes to Greek Catholics.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Ciobanu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; As Romania became part of the communist bloc after World War II, the Romanian Communist Party considered religion as a capitalist remnant, which could make people confused about the country's ideology.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;{{cite journal|last1=Stan|first1=Lavinia|last2=Lucian|first2=Turcescu|title=The Romanian Orthodox Church and Post-communist Democratisation|date=2000|publisher=Europe - Asia Studies 52|pages=1467–488|edition=no. 8}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; Despite this, the Romanian Communist Party still wanted to keep churches as the party thought that religion could be used to mobilize people and thus, to achieve the party's socioeconomic and political goals. Under communism, the church and the Communist party made a contract: the party would not repress the church in exchange for its unconditional supports. However, the church was still not allowed to pursue educational and charitable activities. There was even a patrimonial investigation made by authorities which claims that some people were punished for what their ancestors or kinship did.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Ciobanu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; People could have been prisoned just for having relatives abroad or making a joke against communism.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;vianu&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite book |last1=Vianu |first1=Lidia |title=Censorship in Romania |date=1998 |publisher=[[Central European University|Central European University Press]] |isbn=9639116092 |location=Budapest}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; In addition, the Romanian government limited the number of Americans to stay in the country.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Williams&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; Though Romania back then had some American ambassadors or politicians in its own territories, the movements of those Americans were severely restricted by the Romanian government.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Williams&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; Foreign diplomats were not allowed to travel around the country without special permission or to go near the [[Black Sea]] coast.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Mark&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite web|last1=Mark|first1=David|title=Country and Subject Reader Series, Romania|url=http://adst.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Romania.pdf|website=Association for Diplomatic Studies and Training}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; The Romanian government ruthlessly harassed people who had contact with American delegates. The government actually murdered a person, part of the local staff, by pumping too much Sodium pentothal, the truth drug, into her as a punishment for being associated with the American legations.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Mark&amp;quot;/&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Speaking of the economic sector, the Soviet Union had taken control of Romania's economy by creating about 20-22 [[SovRom|Soviet-Romanian joint companies]], including the airline company, the steel mills, the insurance company, road transport, harbors, etc.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Mark&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; The Soviets at that time seems to thoroughly dominate the East European area.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Virtually every published document, be it a newspaper article or a book, had to pass the censor's approval. The strictness of the censorship varied with time, the tightest being during the Stalinist era of the 1950s and the loosest during the early period of [[Nicolae Ceaușescu]]'s rule, which ended with the [[July Theses]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The purpose of the censorship apparatus was to subordinate all the aspects of the [[Romanian culture]] (including literature, history, art and philosophy) to the [[Romanian Communist Party|Communist Party]]'s ideology. All features of the Romanian culture were reinterpreted according to the regime's ideology, and any other interpretations were banned as forms of &amp;quot;bourgeois decadence&amp;quot;.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;{{cite book|first=Vladimir |last=Tismăneanu|author-link= Vladimir Tismăneanu|url=https://books.google.com/books?id=VemOBAAAQBAJ|title=Stalinism pentru eternitate|publisher= [[Polirom]]|location= Iași|year= 2005|isbn=973-681-899-3|page=147}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
== Under Nicolae Ceaușescu (1965–1989) ==&lt;br /&gt;
{{Original research|date=May 2022}}&lt;br /&gt;
Under Ceaușescu's second communist Romanian regime, propagandist material was the only available information to the public across the country and even this propagandist material (spread mostly via the national television and the party's newspapers) was controlled by the regime through its methods of sanction.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Lamasanu&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite journal|last1=Lămășanu|first1=Ștefana|title=Capturing the Romanian Revolution: Violent Imagery, Affect and the Televisual Event|journal=ProQuest Dissertations and Theses|date=2011}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; Since the mobilization of the population through written material was almost impossible, unofficial information was going around through gossips. Many foreign movies, music and books were also banned. At the same time, Nicolae Ceaușescu terrorized the population by obliging it to see his and [[Elena Ceaușescu|his wife]]'s portrait everywhere: &amp;quot;From pre-kindergarten classrooms to official offices, the walls of every institution in every corner of the country were required to be adorned with photographs of the couple&amp;quot;.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Lamasanu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; Ceaușescu purposely destroyed individual privacy.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;vianu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; From the mid-80s, due to the [[1980s austerity policy in Romania|austerity policy]] imposed by Ceaușescu, Romanians had limited access to electricity, heat and water, and also food was scarce.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Since 1990==&lt;br /&gt;
Since 1990 state censorship does not officially exist in Romania and attempts by state organizations have been only minor. The only high-profile state action was in the Armagedon scandal, when a citizen was arrested for e-mailing reports that were seen as damaging to then Prime Minister [[Adrian Năstase]]'s image.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;{{Cite web|url=http://www.freeex.ro/rapoarte/c/Conditia |title=Condiția libertății presei în România |publisher=Agenția de Monitorizare a Presei - Academia Cațavencu |url-status=bot: unknown |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20070928024943/http://www.freeex.ro/rapoarte/c/Conditia%20libertatii%20presei%202001%20-%202002.pdf |archive-date=2007-09-28}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; The official accusation was spreading of false information, but the accusations have been dropped.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Notes==&lt;br /&gt;
{{reflist}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Further reading==&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Liliana Corobca]], [https://books.google.com/books?id=9-wwAwAAQBAJ ''Controlul cǎrții. Cenzura literaturii în regimul comunist din România''], [[Polirom]], Iași, 2014, {{ISBN|978-973-23-3064-7}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Censorship in Romania| ]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Censorship in the Eastern Bloc]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Socialist Republic of Romania]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Romanian literature]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Cultural history of Romania]]&lt;br /&gt;
{{short description|Communist Romania strict rules}}&lt;br /&gt;
{{redirect|Censorship in Romania|censorship in present-day Romania|Media of Romania#Censorship}}&lt;br /&gt;
{{Censorship by country}}&lt;br /&gt;
'''Censorship in Communist Romania''' occurred during the [[Socialist Republic of Romania|Socialist Republic]] in two stages: under the first Communist president [[Gheorghe Gheorghiu-Dej]] (1947-1965) and the second and last Communist president [[Nicolae Ceaușescu]] (1965-1989).&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Groza government (1945–1947)==&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Petru Groza]] became the [[Prime Minister of Romania|Prime Minister]] in 1945, and under [[Soviet occupation of Romania|Soviet occupation]], his government started to communize Romania. Citizens' Committees were formed to assist the police, and thus, it was justified for these committees and the police to randomly check people's documents on the street, to search people's home without any notification and to inspect suspicious billeting refugees or Soviet officers.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Deletant&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite book |last=Deletant |first=Dennis |title=Communist terror in Romania: Gheorghiu-Dej and the Police State, 1948-1965 |date=1999 |publisher=[[C. Hurst &amp;amp; Co.]] |isbn=1850653860 |location=London |author-link=Dennis Deletant}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; There was also widespread violent repression and abrupt communization of the country in [[Socialist Republic of Romania|Romania]] in the context of post-World War II.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Ciobanu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; The supporters of the communist regime labeled the group of opponents as fascists, criminals, or anti-national components under Western interests, and blamed those opponents for destabilizing the country. Groza himself told the British journalists in 1945 that about 90,000 Romanians had been arrested in two months right after he seized the power.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Deletant&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; Groza also tried to get rid of the final obstacle to complete Soviet domination of Romania: overthrowing the [[Kingdom of Romania]] run by [[King of Romania|King]] [[Michael I of Romania|Michael]]. In the last half of 1947, King Michael was still on the regime while Soviet had so much power on Romanian economy.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Cleveland&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite web|last=Cleveland|first=Robert|title=Country and Subject Reader Series, Romania|url=http://adst.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Romania.pdf|website=Association for Diplomatic Studies and Training}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; Though pre-war Romania showed some features of democracy such as a constitution, a parliament, political parties etc., it still had a king and was politically oligarchic. As the King Michael continuously refused to abdicate the throne, Groza threatened him with the civil war. Michael wanted to avoid the bloodshed and he gave in on 30 December 1947, and on that same day, the Romanian People's Republic was declared.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Cleveland&amp;quot;/&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
== Under Gheorghe Gheorghiu-Dej (1947–1965) ==&lt;br /&gt;
As the Romanian People's Republic was declared, [[Gheorghe Gheorghiu-Dej]] became the first president of the country and the Communist politicians, including himself, were eager to establish the foundation of the totalitarian state. As a first step, on 4 February 1948, a Treaty of Friendship, Cooperation and Mutual Assistance between Romania and the Soviet Union was signed.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Deletant&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; Soviet Union became a more influent power in Romania territory after this treaty was signed and Gheorghe carried out terrifying tasks, all imposed by Soviet Russia. As the communism became widespread in Romania (backed up by the Soviet Union), there was a strong censorship throughout political, economic, and cultural sectors in the Romanian society.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
When it comes to the cultural sector, the communist regime of Romania often used party-state propaganda to erase all the symbols and artifacts of the pre-communist era which could have remained in people's mind.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Ciobanu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; The communist party activists started the control of art &amp;quot;to eliminate and erase all traces of the previous configuration&amp;quot; and to dismantle the previous institutional model, etc.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Preda&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; The communist Romanian government not only got rid of all the previous institutions and art legacies which were founded in the pre-communist era, but also physically eliminated many actors, musicians, painters etc. As Romania established the Soviet model of communization process, it was taken for granted for authorities to impose &amp;quot;physical (arrests, killings, institutional purges) and psychological repression (terror, corruption, compromise)&amp;quot;.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Preda&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite web|last1=Preda|first1=Caterina|title=Chile and Romania: Censorship in Dictatorships|url=http://www.fairobserver.com/region/europe/chile-and-romania-censorship-in-dictatorships-14067/|website=Fair Observer|date=August 2014 }}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; In the meantime, the communist Romanian government announced lists of forbidden volumes between 1944 and 1948 along with the lists of forbidden writers. For the institutional level, the last thing Romanian government wanted was intellectuals who could be possible insurgents. Thus, government authorities expelled professors and students from universities and never let them come back again.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Preda&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; At the same time, the “Cominform Journal” was published under the Communist Party's supervision and this was delivered all around the world as the journal was published in many languages.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Williams&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite web|last1=Williams|first1=Murat|title=Country and Subject Reader Series, Romania|url=http://adst.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Romania.pdf|website=Association for Diplomatic Studies and Training}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; Cominform Journal specifically dealt with communism and was used to teach and spread the ideology all over the world and what were the right things to do under communism.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Williams&amp;quot;/&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
In regards to the political sector, to suppress the prevalent anti-communism and anti-Sovietism at that time, communist regime implemented many censorships everywhere in Romania, e.g. military force was mobilized to dismantle anti-communist movement.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Ciobanu&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite journal|last=Ciobanu|first=Monica|title=Remembering the Romanian Anti-Communist Armed Resistance: An Analysis of Local Lived Experience|journal=Eurostudia|volume=10|issue=1|year=2015|pages=105–123|doi=10.7202/1033884ar|doi-access=free}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; The people who were involved in resistance movements were hunted down by the authorities and usually incarcerated. There was religious persecution in Romania when it comes to Greek Catholics.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Ciobanu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; As Romania became part of the communist bloc after World War II, the Romanian Communist Party considered religion as a capitalist remnant, which could make people confused about the country's ideology.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;{{cite journal|last1=Stan|first1=Lavinia|last2=Lucian|first2=Turcescu|title=The Romanian Orthodox Church and Post-communist Democratisation|date=2000|publisher=Europe - Asia Studies 52|pages=1467–488|edition=no. 8}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; Despite this, the Romanian Communist Party still wanted to keep churches as the party thought that religion could be used to mobilize people and thus, to achieve the party's socioeconomic and political goals. Under communism, the church and the Communist party made a contract: the party would not repress the church in exchange for its unconditional supports. However, the church was still not allowed to pursue educational and charitable activities. There was even a patrimonial investigation made by authorities which claims that some people were punished for what their ancestors or kinship did.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Ciobanu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; People could have been prisoned just for having relatives abroad or making a joke against communism.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;vianu&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite book |last1=Vianu |first1=Lidia |title=Censorship in Romania |date=1998 |publisher=[[Central European University|Central European University Press]] |isbn=9639116092 |location=Budapest}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; In addition, the Romanian government limited the number of Americans to stay in the country.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Williams&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; Though Romania back then had some American ambassadors or politicians in its own territories, the movements of those Americans were severely restricted by the Romanian government.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Williams&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; Foreign diplomats were not allowed to travel around the country without special permission or to go near the [[Black Sea]] coast.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Mark&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite web|last1=Mark|first1=David|title=Country and Subject Reader Series, Romania|url=http://adst.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Romania.pdf|website=Association for Diplomatic Studies and Training}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; The Romanian government ruthlessly harassed people who had contact with American delegates. The government actually murdered a person, part of the local staff, by pumping too much Sodium pentothal, the truth drug, into her as a punishment for being associated with the American legations.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Mark&amp;quot;/&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Speaking of the economic sector, the Soviet Union had taken control of Romania's economy by creating about 20-22 [[SovRom|Soviet-Romanian joint companies]], including the airline company, the steel mills, the insurance company, road transport, harbors, etc.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Mark&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; The Soviets at that time seems to thoroughly dominate the East European area.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Virtually every published document, be it a newspaper article or a book, had to pass the censor's approval. The strictness of the censorship varied with time, the tightest being during the Stalinist era of the 1950s and the loosest during the early period of [[Nicolae Ceaușescu]]'s rule, which ended with the [[July Theses]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The purpose of the censorship apparatus was to subordinate all the aspects of the [[Romanian culture]] (including literature, history, art and philosophy) to the [[Romanian Communist Party|Communist Party]]'s ideology. All features of the Romanian culture were reinterpreted according to the regime's ideology, and any other interpretations were banned as forms of &amp;quot;bourgeois decadence&amp;quot;.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;{{cite book|first=Vladimir |last=Tismăneanu|author-link= Vladimir Tismăneanu|url=https://books.google.com/books?id=VemOBAAAQBAJ|title=Stalinism pentru eternitate|publisher= [[Polirom]]|location= Iași|year= 2005|isbn=973-681-899-3|page=147}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
== Under Nicolae Ceaușescu (1965–1989) ==&lt;br /&gt;
{{Original research|date=May 2022}}&lt;br /&gt;
Under Ceaușescu's second communist Romanian regime, propagandist material was the only available information to the public across the country and even this propagandist material (spread mostly via the national television and the party's newspapers) was controlled by the regime through its methods of sanction.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Lamasanu&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite journal|last1=Lămășanu|first1=Ștefana|title=Capturing the Romanian Revolution: Violent Imagery, Affect and the Televisual Event|journal=ProQuest Dissertations and Theses|date=2011}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; Since the mobilization of the population through written material was almost impossible, unofficial information was going around through gossips. Many foreign movies, music and books were also banned. At the same time, Nicolae Ceaușescu terrorized the population by obliging it to see his and [[Elena Ceaușescu|his wife]]'s portrait everywhere: &amp;quot;From pre-kindergarten classrooms to official offices, the walls of every institution in every corner of the country were required to be adorned with photographs of the couple&amp;quot;.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Lamasanu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; Ceaușescu purposely destroyed individual privacy.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;vianu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; From the mid-80s, due to the [[1980s austerity policy in Romania|austerity policy]] imposed by Ceaușescu, Romanians had limited access to electricity, heat and water, and also food was scarce.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Since 1990==&lt;br /&gt;
Since 1990 state censorship does not officially exist in Romania and attempts by state organizations have been only minor. The only high-profile state action was in the Armagedon scandal, when a citizen was arrested for e-mailing reports that were seen as damaging to then Prime Minister [[Adrian Năstase]]'s image.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;{{Cite web|url=http://www.freeex.ro/rapoarte/c/Conditia |title=Condiția libertății presei în România |publisher=Agenția de Monitorizare a Presei - Academia Cațavencu |url-status=bot: unknown |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20070928024943/http://www.freeex.ro/rapoarte/c/Conditia%20libertatii%20presei%202001%20-%202002.pdf |archive-date=2007-09-28}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; The official accusation was spreading of false information, but the accusations have been dropped.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Notes==&lt;br /&gt;
{{reflist}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Further reading==&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Liliana Corobca]], [https://books.google.com/books?id=9-wwAwAAQBAJ ''Controlul cǎrții. Cenzura literaturii în regimul comunist din România''], [[Polirom]], Iași, 2014, {{ISBN|978-973-23-3064-7}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Censorship in Romania| ]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Censorship in the Eastern Bloc]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Socialist Republic of Romania]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Romanian literature]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Cultural history of Romania]]&lt;br /&gt;
{{short description|Communist Romania strict rules}}&lt;br /&gt;
{{redirect|Censorship in Romania|censorship in present-day Romania|Media of Romania#Censorship}}&lt;br /&gt;
{{Censorship by country}}&lt;br /&gt;
'''Censorship in Communist Romania''' occurred during the [[Socialist Republic of Romania|Socialist Republic]] in two stages: under the first Communist president [[Gheorghe Gheorghiu-Dej]] (1947-1965) and the second and last Communist president [[Nicolae Ceaușescu]] (1965-1989).&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Groza government (1945–1947)==&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Petru Groza]] became the [[Prime Minister of Romania|Prime Minister]] in 1945, and under [[Soviet occupation of Romania|Soviet occupation]], his government started to communize Romania. Citizens' Committees were formed to assist the police, and thus, it was justified for these committees and the police to randomly check people's documents on the street, to search people's home without any notification and to inspect suspicious billeting refugees or Soviet officers.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Deletant&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite book |last=Deletant |first=Dennis |title=Communist terror in Romania: Gheorghiu-Dej and the Police State, 1948-1965 |date=1999 |publisher=[[C. Hurst &amp;amp; Co.]] |isbn=1850653860 |location=London |author-link=Dennis Deletant}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; There was also widespread violent repression and abrupt communization of the country in [[Socialist Republic of Romania|Romania]] in the context of post-World War II.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Ciobanu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; The supporters of the communist regime labeled the group of opponents as fascists, criminals, or anti-national components under Western interests, and blamed those opponents for destabilizing the country. Groza himself told the British journalists in 1945 that about 90,000 Romanians had been arrested in two months right after he seized the power.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Deletant&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; Groza also tried to get rid of the final obstacle to complete Soviet domination of Romania: overthrowing the [[Kingdom of Romania]] run by [[King of Romania|King]] [[Michael I of Romania|Michael]]. In the last half of 1947, King Michael was still on the regime while Soviet had so much power on Romanian economy.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Cleveland&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite web|last=Cleveland|first=Robert|title=Country and Subject Reader Series, Romania|url=http://adst.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Romania.pdf|website=Association for Diplomatic Studies and Training}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; Though pre-war Romania showed some features of democracy such as a constitution, a parliament, political parties etc., it still had a king and was politically oligarchic. As the King Michael continuously refused to abdicate the throne, Groza threatened him with the civil war. Michael wanted to avoid the bloodshed and he gave in on 30 December 1947, and on that same day, the Romanian People's Republic was declared.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Cleveland&amp;quot;/&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
== Under Gheorghe Gheorghiu-Dej (1947–1965) ==&lt;br /&gt;
As the Romanian People's Republic was declared, [[Gheorghe Gheorghiu-Dej]] became the first president of the country and the Communist politicians, including himself, were eager to establish the foundation of the totalitarian state. As a first step, on 4 February 1948, a Treaty of Friendship, Cooperation and Mutual Assistance between Romania and the Soviet Union was signed.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Deletant&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; Soviet Union became a more influent power in Romania territory after this treaty was signed and Gheorghe carried out terrifying tasks, all imposed by Soviet Russia. As the communism became widespread in Romania (backed up by the Soviet Union), there was a strong censorship throughout political, economic, and cultural sectors in the Romanian society.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
When it comes to the cultural sector, the communist regime of Romania often used party-state propaganda to erase all the symbols and artifacts of the pre-communist era which could have remained in people's mind.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Ciobanu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; The communist party activists started the control of art &amp;quot;to eliminate and erase all traces of the previous configuration&amp;quot; and to dismantle the previous institutional model, etc.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Preda&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; The communist Romanian government not only got rid of all the previous institutions and art legacies which were founded in the pre-communist era, but also physically eliminated many actors, musicians, painters etc. As Romania established the Soviet model of communization process, it was taken for granted for authorities to impose &amp;quot;physical (arrests, killings, institutional purges) and psychological repression (terror, corruption, compromise)&amp;quot;.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Preda&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite web|last1=Preda|first1=Caterina|title=Chile and Romania: Censorship in Dictatorships|url=http://www.fairobserver.com/region/europe/chile-and-romania-censorship-in-dictatorships-14067/|website=Fair Observer|date=August 2014 }}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; In the meantime, the communist Romanian government announced lists of forbidden volumes between 1944 and 1948 along with the lists of forbidden writers. For the institutional level, the last thing Romanian government wanted was intellectuals who could be possible insurgents. Thus, government authorities expelled professors and students from universities and never let them come back again.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Preda&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; At the same time, the “Cominform Journal” was published under the Communist Party's supervision and this was delivered all around the world as the journal was published in many languages.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Williams&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite web|last1=Williams|first1=Murat|title=Country and Subject Reader Series, Romania|url=http://adst.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Romania.pdf|website=Association for Diplomatic Studies and Training}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; Cominform Journal specifically dealt with communism and was used to teach and spread the ideology all over the world and what were the right things to do under communism.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Williams&amp;quot;/&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
In regards to the political sector, to suppress the prevalent anti-communism and anti-Sovietism at that time, communist regime implemented many censorships everywhere in Romania, e.g. military force was mobilized to dismantle anti-communist movement.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Ciobanu&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite journal|last=Ciobanu|first=Monica|title=Remembering the Romanian Anti-Communist Armed Resistance: An Analysis of Local Lived Experience|journal=Eurostudia|volume=10|issue=1|year=2015|pages=105–123|doi=10.7202/1033884ar|doi-access=free}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; The people who were involved in resistance movements were hunted down by the authorities and usually incarcerated. There was religious persecution in Romania when it comes to Greek Catholics.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Ciobanu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; As Romania became part of the communist bloc after World War II, the Romanian Communist Party considered religion as a capitalist remnant, which could make people confused about the country's ideology.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;{{cite journal|last1=Stan|first1=Lavinia|last2=Lucian|first2=Turcescu|title=The Romanian Orthodox Church and Post-communist Democratisation|date=2000|publisher=Europe - Asia Studies 52|pages=1467–488|edition=no. 8}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; Despite this, the Romanian Communist Party still wanted to keep churches as the party thought that religion could be used to mobilize people and thus, to achieve the party's socioeconomic and political goals. Under communism, the church and the Communist party made a contract: the party would not repress the church in exchange for its unconditional supports. However, the church was still not allowed to pursue educational and charitable activities. There was even a patrimonial investigation made by authorities which claims that some people were punished for what their ancestors or kinship did.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Ciobanu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; People could have been prisoned just for having relatives abroad or making a joke against communism.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;vianu&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite book |last1=Vianu |first1=Lidia |title=Censorship in Romania |date=1998 |publisher=[[Central European University|Central European University Press]] |isbn=9639116092 |location=Budapest}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; In addition, the Romanian government limited the number of Americans to stay in the country.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Williams&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; Though Romania back then had some American ambassadors or politicians in its own territories, the movements of those Americans were severely restricted by the Romanian government.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Williams&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; Foreign diplomats were not allowed to travel around the country without special permission or to go near the [[Black Sea]] coast.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Mark&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite web|last1=Mark|first1=David|title=Country and Subject Reader Series, Romania|url=http://adst.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Romania.pdf|website=Association for Diplomatic Studies and Training}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; The Romanian government ruthlessly harassed people who had contact with American delegates. The government actually murdered a person, part of the local staff, by pumping too much Sodium pentothal, the truth drug, into her as a punishment for being associated with the American legations.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Mark&amp;quot;/&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Speaking of the economic sector, the Soviet Union had taken control of Romania's economy by creating about 20-22 [[SovRom|Soviet-Romanian joint companies]], including the airline company, the steel mills, the insurance company, road transport, harbors, etc.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Mark&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; The Soviets at that time seems to thoroughly dominate the East European area.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Virtually every published document, be it a newspaper article or a book, had to pass the censor's approval. The strictness of the censorship varied with time, the tightest being during the Stalinist era of the 1950s and the loosest during the early period of [[Nicolae Ceaușescu]]'s rule, which ended with the [[July Theses]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The purpose of the censorship apparatus was to subordinate all the aspects of the [[Romanian culture]] (including literature, history, art and philosophy) to the [[Romanian Communist Party|Communist Party]]'s ideology. All features of the Romanian culture were reinterpreted according to the regime's ideology, and any other interpretations were banned as forms of &amp;quot;bourgeois decadence&amp;quot;.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;{{cite book|first=Vladimir |last=Tismăneanu|author-link= Vladimir Tismăneanu|url=https://books.google.com/books?id=VemOBAAAQBAJ|title=Stalinism pentru eternitate|publisher= [[Polirom]]|location= Iași|year= 2005|isbn=973-681-899-3|page=147}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
== Under Nicolae Ceaușescu (1965–1989) ==&lt;br /&gt;
{{Original research|date=May 2022}}&lt;br /&gt;
Under Ceaușescu's second communist Romanian regime, propagandist material was the only available information to the public across the country and even this propagandist material (spread mostly via the national television and the party's newspapers) was controlled by the regime through its methods of sanction.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Lamasanu&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite journal|last1=Lămășanu|first1=Ștefana|title=Capturing the Romanian Revolution: Violent Imagery, Affect and the Televisual Event|journal=ProQuest Dissertations and Theses|date=2011}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; Since the mobilization of the population through written material was almost impossible, unofficial information was going around through gossips. Many foreign movies, music and books were also banned. At the same time, Nicolae Ceaușescu terrorized the population by obliging it to see his and [[Elena Ceaușescu|his wife]]'s portrait everywhere: &amp;quot;From pre-kindergarten classrooms to official offices, the walls of every institution in every corner of the country were required to be adorned with photographs of the couple&amp;quot;.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Lamasanu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; Ceaușescu purposely destroyed individual privacy.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;vianu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; From the mid-80s, due to the [[1980s austerity policy in Romania|austerity policy]] imposed by Ceaușescu, Romanians had limited access to electricity, heat and water, and also food was scarce.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Since 1990==&lt;br /&gt;
Since 1990 state censorship does not officially exist in Romania and attempts by state organizations have been only minor. The only high-profile state action was in the Armagedon scandal, when a citizen was arrested for e-mailing reports that were seen as damaging to then Prime Minister [[Adrian Năstase]]'s image.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;{{Cite web|url=http://www.freeex.ro/rapoarte/c/Conditia |title=Condiția libertății presei în România |publisher=Agenția de Monitorizare a Presei - Academia Cațavencu |url-status=bot: unknown |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20070928024943/http://www.freeex.ro/rapoarte/c/Conditia%20libertatii%20presei%202001%20-%202002.pdf |archive-date=2007-09-28}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; The official accusation was spreading of false information, but the accusations have been dropped.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Notes==&lt;br /&gt;
{{reflist}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Further reading==&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Liliana Corobca]], [https://books.google.com/books?id=9-wwAwAAQBAJ ''Controlul cǎrții. Cenzura literaturii în regimul comunist din România''], [[Polirom]], Iași, 2014, {{ISBN|978-973-23-3064-7}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Censorship in Romania| ]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Censorship in the Eastern Bloc]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Socialist Republic of Romania]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Romanian literature]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Cultural history of Romania]]&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>I torture furries and take them to the fuhrer</name></author>	</entry>

	<entry>
		<id>//en.wikifur.com/wiki/Blitz_Wolfang</id>
		<title>Blitz Wolfang</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://en.wikifur.com/wiki/Blitz_Wolfang"/>
				<updated>2023-09-11T00:39:15Z</updated>
		
		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;I torture furries and take them to the fuhrer: {{short description|Communist Romania strict rules}} {{redirect|Censorship in Romania|censorship in present-day Romania|Media of Romania#Censorship}} {{Censorship by country}} '''Censorship in Communist Romania''' occurred during the [[Socialist Republic&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;{{short description|Communist Romania strict rules}}&lt;br /&gt;
{{redirect|Censorship in Romania|censorship in present-day Romania|Media of Romania#Censorship}}&lt;br /&gt;
{{Censorship by country}}&lt;br /&gt;
'''Censorship in Communist Romania''' occurred during the [[Socialist Republic of Romania|Socialist Republic]] in two stages: under the first Communist president [[Gheorghe Gheorghiu-Dej]] (1947-1965) and the second and last Communist president [[Nicolae Ceaușescu]] (1965-1989).&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Groza government (1945–1947)==&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Petru Groza]] became the [[Prime Minister of Romania|Prime Minister]] in 1945, and under [[Soviet occupation of Romania|Soviet occupation]], his government started to communize Romania. Citizens' Committees were formed to assist the police, and thus, it was justified for these committees and the police to randomly check people's documents on the street, to search people's home without any notification and to inspect suspicious billeting refugees or Soviet officers.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Deletant&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite book |last=Deletant |first=Dennis |title=Communist terror in Romania: Gheorghiu-Dej and the Police State, 1948-1965 |date=1999 |publisher=[[C. Hurst &amp;amp; Co.]] |isbn=1850653860 |location=London |author-link=Dennis Deletant}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; There was also widespread violent repression and abrupt communization of the country in [[Socialist Republic of Romania|Romania]] in the context of post-World War II.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Ciobanu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; The supporters of the communist regime labeled the group of opponents as fascists, criminals, or anti-national components under Western interests, and blamed those opponents for destabilizing the country. Groza himself told the British journalists in 1945 that about 90,000 Romanians had been arrested in two months right after he seized the power.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Deletant&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; Groza also tried to get rid of the final obstacle to complete Soviet domination of Romania: overthrowing the [[Kingdom of Romania]] run by [[King of Romania|King]] [[Michael I of Romania|Michael]]. In the last half of 1947, King Michael was still on the regime while Soviet had so much power on Romanian economy.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Cleveland&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite web|last=Cleveland|first=Robert|title=Country and Subject Reader Series, Romania|url=http://adst.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Romania.pdf|website=Association for Diplomatic Studies and Training}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; Though pre-war Romania showed some features of democracy such as a constitution, a parliament, political parties etc., it still had a king and was politically oligarchic. As the King Michael continuously refused to abdicate the throne, Groza threatened him with the civil war. Michael wanted to avoid the bloodshed and he gave in on 30 December 1947, and on that same day, the Romanian People's Republic was declared.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Cleveland&amp;quot;/&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
== Under Gheorghe Gheorghiu-Dej (1947–1965) ==&lt;br /&gt;
As the Romanian People's Republic was declared, [[Gheorghe Gheorghiu-Dej]] became the first president of the country and the Communist politicians, including himself, were eager to establish the foundation of the totalitarian state. As a first step, on 4 February 1948, a Treaty of Friendship, Cooperation and Mutual Assistance between Romania and the Soviet Union was signed.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Deletant&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; Soviet Union became a more influent power in Romania territory after this treaty was signed and Gheorghe carried out terrifying tasks, all imposed by Soviet Russia. As the communism became widespread in Romania (backed up by the Soviet Union), there was a strong censorship throughout political, economic, and cultural sectors in the Romanian society.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
When it comes to the cultural sector, the communist regime of Romania often used party-state propaganda to erase all the symbols and artifacts of the pre-communist era which could have remained in people's mind.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Ciobanu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; The communist party activists started the control of art &amp;quot;to eliminate and erase all traces of the previous configuration&amp;quot; and to dismantle the previous institutional model, etc.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Preda&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; The communist Romanian government not only got rid of all the previous institutions and art legacies which were founded in the pre-communist era, but also physically eliminated many actors, musicians, painters etc. As Romania established the Soviet model of communization process, it was taken for granted for authorities to impose &amp;quot;physical (arrests, killings, institutional purges) and psychological repression (terror, corruption, compromise)&amp;quot;.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Preda&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite web|last1=Preda|first1=Caterina|title=Chile and Romania: Censorship in Dictatorships|url=http://www.fairobserver.com/region/europe/chile-and-romania-censorship-in-dictatorships-14067/|website=Fair Observer|date=August 2014 }}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; In the meantime, the communist Romanian government announced lists of forbidden volumes between 1944 and 1948 along with the lists of forbidden writers. For the institutional level, the last thing Romanian government wanted was intellectuals who could be possible insurgents. Thus, government authorities expelled professors and students from universities and never let them come back again.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Preda&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; At the same time, the “Cominform Journal” was published under the Communist Party's supervision and this was delivered all around the world as the journal was published in many languages.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Williams&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite web|last1=Williams|first1=Murat|title=Country and Subject Reader Series, Romania|url=http://adst.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Romania.pdf|website=Association for Diplomatic Studies and Training}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; Cominform Journal specifically dealt with communism and was used to teach and spread the ideology all over the world and what were the right things to do under communism.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Williams&amp;quot;/&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
In regards to the political sector, to suppress the prevalent anti-communism and anti-Sovietism at that time, communist regime implemented many censorships everywhere in Romania, e.g. military force was mobilized to dismantle anti-communist movement.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Ciobanu&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite journal|last=Ciobanu|first=Monica|title=Remembering the Romanian Anti-Communist Armed Resistance: An Analysis of Local Lived Experience|journal=Eurostudia|volume=10|issue=1|year=2015|pages=105–123|doi=10.7202/1033884ar|doi-access=free}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; The people who were involved in resistance movements were hunted down by the authorities and usually incarcerated. There was religious persecution in Romania when it comes to Greek Catholics.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Ciobanu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; As Romania became part of the communist bloc after World War II, the Romanian Communist Party considered religion as a capitalist remnant, which could make people confused about the country's ideology.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;{{cite journal|last1=Stan|first1=Lavinia|last2=Lucian|first2=Turcescu|title=The Romanian Orthodox Church and Post-communist Democratisation|date=2000|publisher=Europe - Asia Studies 52|pages=1467–488|edition=no. 8}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; Despite this, the Romanian Communist Party still wanted to keep churches as the party thought that religion could be used to mobilize people and thus, to achieve the party's socioeconomic and political goals. Under communism, the church and the Communist party made a contract: the party would not repress the church in exchange for its unconditional supports. However, the church was still not allowed to pursue educational and charitable activities. There was even a patrimonial investigation made by authorities which claims that some people were punished for what their ancestors or kinship did.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Ciobanu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; People could have been prisoned just for having relatives abroad or making a joke against communism.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;vianu&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite book |last1=Vianu |first1=Lidia |title=Censorship in Romania |date=1998 |publisher=[[Central European University|Central European University Press]] |isbn=9639116092 |location=Budapest}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; In addition, the Romanian government limited the number of Americans to stay in the country.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Williams&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; Though Romania back then had some American ambassadors or politicians in its own territories, the movements of those Americans were severely restricted by the Romanian government.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Williams&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; Foreign diplomats were not allowed to travel around the country without special permission or to go near the [[Black Sea]] coast.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Mark&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite web|last1=Mark|first1=David|title=Country and Subject Reader Series, Romania|url=http://adst.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Romania.pdf|website=Association for Diplomatic Studies and Training}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; The Romanian government ruthlessly harassed people who had contact with American delegates. The government actually murdered a person, part of the local staff, by pumping too much Sodium pentothal, the truth drug, into her as a punishment for being associated with the American legations.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Mark&amp;quot;/&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Speaking of the economic sector, the Soviet Union had taken control of Romania's economy by creating about 20-22 [[SovRom|Soviet-Romanian joint companies]], including the airline company, the steel mills, the insurance company, road transport, harbors, etc.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Mark&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; The Soviets at that time seems to thoroughly dominate the East European area.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Virtually every published document, be it a newspaper article or a book, had to pass the censor's approval. The strictness of the censorship varied with time, the tightest being during the Stalinist era of the 1950s and the loosest during the early period of [[Nicolae Ceaușescu]]'s rule, which ended with the [[July Theses]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The purpose of the censorship apparatus was to subordinate all the aspects of the [[Romanian culture]] (including literature, history, art and philosophy) to the [[Romanian Communist Party|Communist Party]]'s ideology. All features of the Romanian culture were reinterpreted according to the regime's ideology, and any other interpretations were banned as forms of &amp;quot;bourgeois decadence&amp;quot;.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;{{cite book|first=Vladimir |last=Tismăneanu|author-link= Vladimir Tismăneanu|url=https://books.google.com/books?id=VemOBAAAQBAJ|title=Stalinism pentru eternitate|publisher= [[Polirom]]|location= Iași|year= 2005|isbn=973-681-899-3|page=147}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
== Under Nicolae Ceaușescu (1965–1989) ==&lt;br /&gt;
{{Original research|date=May 2022}}&lt;br /&gt;
Under Ceaușescu's second communist Romanian regime, propagandist material was the only available information to the public across the country and even this propagandist material (spread mostly via the national television and the party's newspapers) was controlled by the regime through its methods of sanction.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Lamasanu&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite journal|last1=Lămășanu|first1=Ștefana|title=Capturing the Romanian Revolution: Violent Imagery, Affect and the Televisual Event|journal=ProQuest Dissertations and Theses|date=2011}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; Since the mobilization of the population through written material was almost impossible, unofficial information was going around through gossips. Many foreign movies, music and books were also banned. At the same time, Nicolae Ceaușescu terrorized the population by obliging it to see his and [[Elena Ceaușescu|his wife]]'s portrait everywhere: &amp;quot;From pre-kindergarten classrooms to official offices, the walls of every institution in every corner of the country were required to be adorned with photographs of the couple&amp;quot;.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Lamasanu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; Ceaușescu purposely destroyed individual privacy.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;vianu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; From the mid-80s, due to the [[1980s austerity policy in Romania|austerity policy]] imposed by Ceaușescu, Romanians had limited access to electricity, heat and water, and also food was scarce.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Since 1990==&lt;br /&gt;
Since 1990 state censorship does not officially exist in Romania and attempts by state organizations have been only minor. The only high-profile state action was in the Armagedon scandal, when a citizen was arrested for e-mailing reports that were seen as damaging to then Prime Minister [[Adrian Năstase]]'s image.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;{{Cite web|url=http://www.freeex.ro/rapoarte/c/Conditia |title=Condiția libertății presei în România |publisher=Agenția de Monitorizare a Presei - Academia Cațavencu |url-status=bot: unknown |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20070928024943/http://www.freeex.ro/rapoarte/c/Conditia%20libertatii%20presei%202001%20-%202002.pdf |archive-date=2007-09-28}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; The official accusation was spreading of false information, but the accusations have been dropped.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Notes==&lt;br /&gt;
{{reflist}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Further reading==&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Liliana Corobca]], [https://books.google.com/books?id=9-wwAwAAQBAJ ''Controlul cǎrții. Cenzura literaturii în regimul comunist din România''], [[Polirom]], Iași, 2014, {{ISBN|978-973-23-3064-7}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Censorship in Romania| ]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Censorship in the Eastern Bloc]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Socialist Republic of Romania]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Romanian literature]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Cultural history of Romania]]&lt;br /&gt;
{{short description|Communist Romania strict rules}}&lt;br /&gt;
{{redirect|Censorship in Romania|censorship in present-day Romania|Media of Romania#Censorship}}&lt;br /&gt;
{{Censorship by country}}&lt;br /&gt;
'''Censorship in Communist Romania''' occurred during the [[Socialist Republic of Romania|Socialist Republic]] in two stages: under the first Communist president [[Gheorghe Gheorghiu-Dej]] (1947-1965) and the second and last Communist president [[Nicolae Ceaușescu]] (1965-1989).&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Groza government (1945–1947)==&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Petru Groza]] became the [[Prime Minister of Romania|Prime Minister]] in 1945, and under [[Soviet occupation of Romania|Soviet occupation]], his government started to communize Romania. Citizens' Committees were formed to assist the police, and thus, it was justified for these committees and the police to randomly check people's documents on the street, to search people's home without any notification and to inspect suspicious billeting refugees or Soviet officers.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Deletant&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite book |last=Deletant |first=Dennis |title=Communist terror in Romania: Gheorghiu-Dej and the Police State, 1948-1965 |date=1999 |publisher=[[C. Hurst &amp;amp; Co.]] |isbn=1850653860 |location=London |author-link=Dennis Deletant}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; There was also widespread violent repression and abrupt communization of the country in [[Socialist Republic of Romania|Romania]] in the context of post-World War II.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Ciobanu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; The supporters of the communist regime labeled the group of opponents as fascists, criminals, or anti-national components under Western interests, and blamed those opponents for destabilizing the country. Groza himself told the British journalists in 1945 that about 90,000 Romanians had been arrested in two months right after he seized the power.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Deletant&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; Groza also tried to get rid of the final obstacle to complete Soviet domination of Romania: overthrowing the [[Kingdom of Romania]] run by [[King of Romania|King]] [[Michael I of Romania|Michael]]. In the last half of 1947, King Michael was still on the regime while Soviet had so much power on Romanian economy.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Cleveland&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite web|last=Cleveland|first=Robert|title=Country and Subject Reader Series, Romania|url=http://adst.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Romania.pdf|website=Association for Diplomatic Studies and Training}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; Though pre-war Romania showed some features of democracy such as a constitution, a parliament, political parties etc., it still had a king and was politically oligarchic. As the King Michael continuously refused to abdicate the throne, Groza threatened him with the civil war. Michael wanted to avoid the bloodshed and he gave in on 30 December 1947, and on that same day, the Romanian People's Republic was declared.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Cleveland&amp;quot;/&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
== Under Gheorghe Gheorghiu-Dej (1947–1965) ==&lt;br /&gt;
As the Romanian People's Republic was declared, [[Gheorghe Gheorghiu-Dej]] became the first president of the country and the Communist politicians, including himself, were eager to establish the foundation of the totalitarian state. As a first step, on 4 February 1948, a Treaty of Friendship, Cooperation and Mutual Assistance between Romania and the Soviet Union was signed.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Deletant&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; Soviet Union became a more influent power in Romania territory after this treaty was signed and Gheorghe carried out terrifying tasks, all imposed by Soviet Russia. As the communism became widespread in Romania (backed up by the Soviet Union), there was a strong censorship throughout political, economic, and cultural sectors in the Romanian society.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
When it comes to the cultural sector, the communist regime of Romania often used party-state propaganda to erase all the symbols and artifacts of the pre-communist era which could have remained in people's mind.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Ciobanu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; The communist party activists started the control of art &amp;quot;to eliminate and erase all traces of the previous configuration&amp;quot; and to dismantle the previous institutional model, etc.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Preda&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; The communist Romanian government not only got rid of all the previous institutions and art legacies which were founded in the pre-communist era, but also physically eliminated many actors, musicians, painters etc. As Romania established the Soviet model of communization process, it was taken for granted for authorities to impose &amp;quot;physical (arrests, killings, institutional purges) and psychological repression (terror, corruption, compromise)&amp;quot;.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Preda&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite web|last1=Preda|first1=Caterina|title=Chile and Romania: Censorship in Dictatorships|url=http://www.fairobserver.com/region/europe/chile-and-romania-censorship-in-dictatorships-14067/|website=Fair Observer|date=August 2014 }}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; In the meantime, the communist Romanian government announced lists of forbidden volumes between 1944 and 1948 along with the lists of forbidden writers. For the institutional level, the last thing Romanian government wanted was intellectuals who could be possible insurgents. Thus, government authorities expelled professors and students from universities and never let them come back again.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Preda&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; At the same time, the “Cominform Journal” was published under the Communist Party's supervision and this was delivered all around the world as the journal was published in many languages.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Williams&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite web|last1=Williams|first1=Murat|title=Country and Subject Reader Series, Romania|url=http://adst.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Romania.pdf|website=Association for Diplomatic Studies and Training}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; Cominform Journal specifically dealt with communism and was used to teach and spread the ideology all over the world and what were the right things to do under communism.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Williams&amp;quot;/&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
In regards to the political sector, to suppress the prevalent anti-communism and anti-Sovietism at that time, communist regime implemented many censorships everywhere in Romania, e.g. military force was mobilized to dismantle anti-communist movement.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Ciobanu&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite journal|last=Ciobanu|first=Monica|title=Remembering the Romanian Anti-Communist Armed Resistance: An Analysis of Local Lived Experience|journal=Eurostudia|volume=10|issue=1|year=2015|pages=105–123|doi=10.7202/1033884ar|doi-access=free}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; The people who were involved in resistance movements were hunted down by the authorities and usually incarcerated. There was religious persecution in Romania when it comes to Greek Catholics.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Ciobanu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; As Romania became part of the communist bloc after World War II, the Romanian Communist Party considered religion as a capitalist remnant, which could make people confused about the country's ideology.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;{{cite journal|last1=Stan|first1=Lavinia|last2=Lucian|first2=Turcescu|title=The Romanian Orthodox Church and Post-communist Democratisation|date=2000|publisher=Europe - Asia Studies 52|pages=1467–488|edition=no. 8}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; Despite this, the Romanian Communist Party still wanted to keep churches as the party thought that religion could be used to mobilize people and thus, to achieve the party's socioeconomic and political goals. Under communism, the church and the Communist party made a contract: the party would not repress the church in exchange for its unconditional supports. However, the church was still not allowed to pursue educational and charitable activities. There was even a patrimonial investigation made by authorities which claims that some people were punished for what their ancestors or kinship did.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Ciobanu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; People could have been prisoned just for having relatives abroad or making a joke against communism.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;vianu&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite book |last1=Vianu |first1=Lidia |title=Censorship in Romania |date=1998 |publisher=[[Central European University|Central European University Press]] |isbn=9639116092 |location=Budapest}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; In addition, the Romanian government limited the number of Americans to stay in the country.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Williams&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; Though Romania back then had some American ambassadors or politicians in its own territories, the movements of those Americans were severely restricted by the Romanian government.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Williams&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; Foreign diplomats were not allowed to travel around the country without special permission or to go near the [[Black Sea]] coast.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Mark&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite web|last1=Mark|first1=David|title=Country and Subject Reader Series, Romania|url=http://adst.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Romania.pdf|website=Association for Diplomatic Studies and Training}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; The Romanian government ruthlessly harassed people who had contact with American delegates. The government actually murdered a person, part of the local staff, by pumping too much Sodium pentothal, the truth drug, into her as a punishment for being associated with the American legations.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Mark&amp;quot;/&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Speaking of the economic sector, the Soviet Union had taken control of Romania's economy by creating about 20-22 [[SovRom|Soviet-Romanian joint companies]], including the airline company, the steel mills, the insurance company, road transport, harbors, etc.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Mark&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; The Soviets at that time seems to thoroughly dominate the East European area.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Virtually every published document, be it a newspaper article or a book, had to pass the censor's approval. The strictness of the censorship varied with time, the tightest being during the Stalinist era of the 1950s and the loosest during the early period of [[Nicolae Ceaușescu]]'s rule, which ended with the [[July Theses]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The purpose of the censorship apparatus was to subordinate all the aspects of the [[Romanian culture]] (including literature, history, art and philosophy) to the [[Romanian Communist Party|Communist Party]]'s ideology. All features of the Romanian culture were reinterpreted according to the regime's ideology, and any other interpretations were banned as forms of &amp;quot;bourgeois decadence&amp;quot;.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;{{cite book|first=Vladimir |last=Tismăneanu|author-link= Vladimir Tismăneanu|url=https://books.google.com/books?id=VemOBAAAQBAJ|title=Stalinism pentru eternitate|publisher= [[Polirom]]|location= Iași|year= 2005|isbn=973-681-899-3|page=147}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
== Under Nicolae Ceaușescu (1965–1989) ==&lt;br /&gt;
{{Original research|date=May 2022}}&lt;br /&gt;
Under Ceaușescu's second communist Romanian regime, propagandist material was the only available information to the public across the country and even this propagandist material (spread mostly via the national television and the party's newspapers) was controlled by the regime through its methods of sanction.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Lamasanu&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite journal|last1=Lămășanu|first1=Ștefana|title=Capturing the Romanian Revolution: Violent Imagery, Affect and the Televisual Event|journal=ProQuest Dissertations and Theses|date=2011}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; Since the mobilization of the population through written material was almost impossible, unofficial information was going around through gossips. Many foreign movies, music and books were also banned. At the same time, Nicolae Ceaușescu terrorized the population by obliging it to see his and [[Elena Ceaușescu|his wife]]'s portrait everywhere: &amp;quot;From pre-kindergarten classrooms to official offices, the walls of every institution in every corner of the country were required to be adorned with photographs of the couple&amp;quot;.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Lamasanu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; Ceaușescu purposely destroyed individual privacy.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;vianu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; From the mid-80s, due to the [[1980s austerity policy in Romania|austerity policy]] imposed by Ceaușescu, Romanians had limited access to electricity, heat and water, and also food was scarce.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Since 1990==&lt;br /&gt;
Since 1990 state censorship does not officially exist in Romania and attempts by state organizations have been only minor. The only high-profile state action was in the Armagedon scandal, when a citizen was arrested for e-mailing reports that were seen as damaging to then Prime Minister [[Adrian Năstase]]'s image.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;{{Cite web|url=http://www.freeex.ro/rapoarte/c/Conditia |title=Condiția libertății presei în România |publisher=Agenția de Monitorizare a Presei - Academia Cațavencu |url-status=bot: unknown |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20070928024943/http://www.freeex.ro/rapoarte/c/Conditia%20libertatii%20presei%202001%20-%202002.pdf |archive-date=2007-09-28}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; The official accusation was spreading of false information, but the accusations have been dropped.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Notes==&lt;br /&gt;
{{reflist}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Further reading==&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Liliana Corobca]], [https://books.google.com/books?id=9-wwAwAAQBAJ ''Controlul cǎrții. Cenzura literaturii în regimul comunist din România''], [[Polirom]], Iași, 2014, {{ISBN|978-973-23-3064-7}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Censorship in Romania| ]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Censorship in the Eastern Bloc]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Socialist Republic of Romania]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Romanian literature]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Cultural history of Romania]]&lt;br /&gt;
{{short description|Communist Romania strict rules}}&lt;br /&gt;
{{redirect|Censorship in Romania|censorship in present-day Romania|Media of Romania#Censorship}}&lt;br /&gt;
{{Censorship by country}}&lt;br /&gt;
'''Censorship in Communist Romania''' occurred during the [[Socialist Republic of Romania|Socialist Republic]] in two stages: under the first Communist president [[Gheorghe Gheorghiu-Dej]] (1947-1965) and the second and last Communist president [[Nicolae Ceaușescu]] (1965-1989).&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Groza government (1945–1947)==&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Petru Groza]] became the [[Prime Minister of Romania|Prime Minister]] in 1945, and under [[Soviet occupation of Romania|Soviet occupation]], his government started to communize Romania. Citizens' Committees were formed to assist the police, and thus, it was justified for these committees and the police to randomly check people's documents on the street, to search people's home without any notification and to inspect suspicious billeting refugees or Soviet officers.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Deletant&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite book |last=Deletant |first=Dennis |title=Communist terror in Romania: Gheorghiu-Dej and the Police State, 1948-1965 |date=1999 |publisher=[[C. Hurst &amp;amp; Co.]] |isbn=1850653860 |location=London |author-link=Dennis Deletant}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; There was also widespread violent repression and abrupt communization of the country in [[Socialist Republic of Romania|Romania]] in the context of post-World War II.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Ciobanu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; The supporters of the communist regime labeled the group of opponents as fascists, criminals, or anti-national components under Western interests, and blamed those opponents for destabilizing the country. Groza himself told the British journalists in 1945 that about 90,000 Romanians had been arrested in two months right after he seized the power.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Deletant&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; Groza also tried to get rid of the final obstacle to complete Soviet domination of Romania: overthrowing the [[Kingdom of Romania]] run by [[King of Romania|King]] [[Michael I of Romania|Michael]]. In the last half of 1947, King Michael was still on the regime while Soviet had so much power on Romanian economy.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Cleveland&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite web|last=Cleveland|first=Robert|title=Country and Subject Reader Series, Romania|url=http://adst.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Romania.pdf|website=Association for Diplomatic Studies and Training}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; Though pre-war Romania showed some features of democracy such as a constitution, a parliament, political parties etc., it still had a king and was politically oligarchic. As the King Michael continuously refused to abdicate the throne, Groza threatened him with the civil war. Michael wanted to avoid the bloodshed and he gave in on 30 December 1947, and on that same day, the Romanian People's Republic was declared.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Cleveland&amp;quot;/&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
== Under Gheorghe Gheorghiu-Dej (1947–1965) ==&lt;br /&gt;
As the Romanian People's Republic was declared, [[Gheorghe Gheorghiu-Dej]] became the first president of the country and the Communist politicians, including himself, were eager to establish the foundation of the totalitarian state. As a first step, on 4 February 1948, a Treaty of Friendship, Cooperation and Mutual Assistance between Romania and the Soviet Union was signed.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Deletant&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; Soviet Union became a more influent power in Romania territory after this treaty was signed and Gheorghe carried out terrifying tasks, all imposed by Soviet Russia. As the communism became widespread in Romania (backed up by the Soviet Union), there was a strong censorship throughout political, economic, and cultural sectors in the Romanian society.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
When it comes to the cultural sector, the communist regime of Romania often used party-state propaganda to erase all the symbols and artifacts of the pre-communist era which could have remained in people's mind.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Ciobanu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; The communist party activists started the control of art &amp;quot;to eliminate and erase all traces of the previous configuration&amp;quot; and to dismantle the previous institutional model, etc.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Preda&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; The communist Romanian government not only got rid of all the previous institutions and art legacies which were founded in the pre-communist era, but also physically eliminated many actors, musicians, painters etc. As Romania established the Soviet model of communization process, it was taken for granted for authorities to impose &amp;quot;physical (arrests, killings, institutional purges) and psychological repression (terror, corruption, compromise)&amp;quot;.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Preda&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite web|last1=Preda|first1=Caterina|title=Chile and Romania: Censorship in Dictatorships|url=http://www.fairobserver.com/region/europe/chile-and-romania-censorship-in-dictatorships-14067/|website=Fair Observer|date=August 2014 }}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; In the meantime, the communist Romanian government announced lists of forbidden volumes between 1944 and 1948 along with the lists of forbidden writers. For the institutional level, the last thing Romanian government wanted was intellectuals who could be possible insurgents. Thus, government authorities expelled professors and students from universities and never let them come back again.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Preda&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; At the same time, the “Cominform Journal” was published under the Communist Party's supervision and this was delivered all around the world as the journal was published in many languages.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Williams&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite web|last1=Williams|first1=Murat|title=Country and Subject Reader Series, Romania|url=http://adst.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Romania.pdf|website=Association for Diplomatic Studies and Training}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; Cominform Journal specifically dealt with communism and was used to teach and spread the ideology all over the world and what were the right things to do under communism.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Williams&amp;quot;/&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
In regards to the political sector, to suppress the prevalent anti-communism and anti-Sovietism at that time, communist regime implemented many censorships everywhere in Romania, e.g. military force was mobilized to dismantle anti-communist movement.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Ciobanu&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite journal|last=Ciobanu|first=Monica|title=Remembering the Romanian Anti-Communist Armed Resistance: An Analysis of Local Lived Experience|journal=Eurostudia|volume=10|issue=1|year=2015|pages=105–123|doi=10.7202/1033884ar|doi-access=free}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; The people who were involved in resistance movements were hunted down by the authorities and usually incarcerated. There was religious persecution in Romania when it comes to Greek Catholics.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Ciobanu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; As Romania became part of the communist bloc after World War II, the Romanian Communist Party considered religion as a capitalist remnant, which could make people confused about the country's ideology.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;{{cite journal|last1=Stan|first1=Lavinia|last2=Lucian|first2=Turcescu|title=The Romanian Orthodox Church and Post-communist Democratisation|date=2000|publisher=Europe - Asia Studies 52|pages=1467–488|edition=no. 8}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; Despite this, the Romanian Communist Party still wanted to keep churches as the party thought that religion could be used to mobilize people and thus, to achieve the party's socioeconomic and political goals. Under communism, the church and the Communist party made a contract: the party would not repress the church in exchange for its unconditional supports. However, the church was still not allowed to pursue educational and charitable activities. There was even a patrimonial investigation made by authorities which claims that some people were punished for what their ancestors or kinship did.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Ciobanu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; People could have been prisoned just for having relatives abroad or making a joke against communism.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;vianu&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite book |last1=Vianu |first1=Lidia |title=Censorship in Romania |date=1998 |publisher=[[Central European University|Central European University Press]] |isbn=9639116092 |location=Budapest}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; In addition, the Romanian government limited the number of Americans to stay in the country.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Williams&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; Though Romania back then had some American ambassadors or politicians in its own territories, the movements of those Americans were severely restricted by the Romanian government.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Williams&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; Foreign diplomats were not allowed to travel around the country without special permission or to go near the [[Black Sea]] coast.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Mark&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite web|last1=Mark|first1=David|title=Country and Subject Reader Series, Romania|url=http://adst.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Romania.pdf|website=Association for Diplomatic Studies and Training}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; The Romanian government ruthlessly harassed people who had contact with American delegates. The government actually murdered a person, part of the local staff, by pumping too much Sodium pentothal, the truth drug, into her as a punishment for being associated with the American legations.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Mark&amp;quot;/&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Speaking of the economic sector, the Soviet Union had taken control of Romania's economy by creating about 20-22 [[SovRom|Soviet-Romanian joint companies]], including the airline company, the steel mills, the insurance company, road transport, harbors, etc.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Mark&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; The Soviets at that time seems to thoroughly dominate the East European area.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Virtually every published document, be it a newspaper article or a book, had to pass the censor's approval. The strictness of the censorship varied with time, the tightest being during the Stalinist era of the 1950s and the loosest during the early period of [[Nicolae Ceaușescu]]'s rule, which ended with the [[July Theses]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The purpose of the censorship apparatus was to subordinate all the aspects of the [[Romanian culture]] (including literature, history, art and philosophy) to the [[Romanian Communist Party|Communist Party]]'s ideology. All features of the Romanian culture were reinterpreted according to the regime's ideology, and any other interpretations were banned as forms of &amp;quot;bourgeois decadence&amp;quot;.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;{{cite book|first=Vladimir |last=Tismăneanu|author-link= Vladimir Tismăneanu|url=https://books.google.com/books?id=VemOBAAAQBAJ|title=Stalinism pentru eternitate|publisher= [[Polirom]]|location= Iași|year= 2005|isbn=973-681-899-3|page=147}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
== Under Nicolae Ceaușescu (1965–1989) ==&lt;br /&gt;
{{Original research|date=May 2022}}&lt;br /&gt;
Under Ceaușescu's second communist Romanian regime, propagandist material was the only available information to the public across the country and even this propagandist material (spread mostly via the national television and the party's newspapers) was controlled by the regime through its methods of sanction.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Lamasanu&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite journal|last1=Lămășanu|first1=Ștefana|title=Capturing the Romanian Revolution: Violent Imagery, Affect and the Televisual Event|journal=ProQuest Dissertations and Theses|date=2011}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; Since the mobilization of the population through written material was almost impossible, unofficial information was going around through gossips. Many foreign movies, music and books were also banned. At the same time, Nicolae Ceaușescu terrorized the population by obliging it to see his and [[Elena Ceaușescu|his wife]]'s portrait everywhere: &amp;quot;From pre-kindergarten classrooms to official offices, the walls of every institution in every corner of the country were required to be adorned with photographs of the couple&amp;quot;.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Lamasanu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; Ceaușescu purposely destroyed individual privacy.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;vianu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; From the mid-80s, due to the [[1980s austerity policy in Romania|austerity policy]] imposed by Ceaușescu, Romanians had limited access to electricity, heat and water, and also food was scarce.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Since 1990==&lt;br /&gt;
Since 1990 state censorship does not officially exist in Romania and attempts by state organizations have been only minor. The only high-profile state action was in the Armagedon scandal, when a citizen was arrested for e-mailing reports that were seen as damaging to then Prime Minister [[Adrian Năstase]]'s image.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;{{Cite web|url=http://www.freeex.ro/rapoarte/c/Conditia |title=Condiția libertății presei în România |publisher=Agenția de Monitorizare a Presei - Academia Cațavencu |url-status=bot: unknown |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20070928024943/http://www.freeex.ro/rapoarte/c/Conditia%20libertatii%20presei%202001%20-%202002.pdf |archive-date=2007-09-28}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; The official accusation was spreading of false information, but the accusations have been dropped.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Notes==&lt;br /&gt;
{{reflist}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Further reading==&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Liliana Corobca]], [https://books.google.com/books?id=9-wwAwAAQBAJ ''Controlul cǎrții. Cenzura literaturii în regimul comunist din România''], [[Polirom]], Iași, 2014, {{ISBN|978-973-23-3064-7}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Censorship in Romania| ]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Censorship in the Eastern Bloc]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Socialist Republic of Romania]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Romanian literature]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Cultural history of Romania]]&lt;br /&gt;
{{short description|Communist Romania strict rules}}&lt;br /&gt;
{{redirect|Censorship in Romania|censorship in present-day Romania|Media of Romania#Censorship}}&lt;br /&gt;
{{Censorship by country}}&lt;br /&gt;
'''Censorship in Communist Romania''' occurred during the [[Socialist Republic of Romania|Socialist Republic]] in two stages: under the first Communist president [[Gheorghe Gheorghiu-Dej]] (1947-1965) and the second and last Communist president [[Nicolae Ceaușescu]] (1965-1989).&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Groza government (1945–1947)==&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Petru Groza]] became the [[Prime Minister of Romania|Prime Minister]] in 1945, and under [[Soviet occupation of Romania|Soviet occupation]], his government started to communize Romania. Citizens' Committees were formed to assist the police, and thus, it was justified for these committees and the police to randomly check people's documents on the street, to search people's home without any notification and to inspect suspicious billeting refugees or Soviet officers.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Deletant&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite book |last=Deletant |first=Dennis |title=Communist terror in Romania: Gheorghiu-Dej and the Police State, 1948-1965 |date=1999 |publisher=[[C. Hurst &amp;amp; Co.]] |isbn=1850653860 |location=London |author-link=Dennis Deletant}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; There was also widespread violent repression and abrupt communization of the country in [[Socialist Republic of Romania|Romania]] in the context of post-World War II.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Ciobanu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; The supporters of the communist regime labeled the group of opponents as fascists, criminals, or anti-national components under Western interests, and blamed those opponents for destabilizing the country. Groza himself told the British journalists in 1945 that about 90,000 Romanians had been arrested in two months right after he seized the power.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Deletant&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; Groza also tried to get rid of the final obstacle to complete Soviet domination of Romania: overthrowing the [[Kingdom of Romania]] run by [[King of Romania|King]] [[Michael I of Romania|Michael]]. In the last half of 1947, King Michael was still on the regime while Soviet had so much power on Romanian economy.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Cleveland&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite web|last=Cleveland|first=Robert|title=Country and Subject Reader Series, Romania|url=http://adst.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Romania.pdf|website=Association for Diplomatic Studies and Training}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; Though pre-war Romania showed some features of democracy such as a constitution, a parliament, political parties etc., it still had a king and was politically oligarchic. As the King Michael continuously refused to abdicate the throne, Groza threatened him with the civil war. Michael wanted to avoid the bloodshed and he gave in on 30 December 1947, and on that same day, the Romanian People's Republic was declared.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Cleveland&amp;quot;/&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
== Under Gheorghe Gheorghiu-Dej (1947–1965) ==&lt;br /&gt;
As the Romanian People's Republic was declared, [[Gheorghe Gheorghiu-Dej]] became the first president of the country and the Communist politicians, including himself, were eager to establish the foundation of the totalitarian state. As a first step, on 4 February 1948, a Treaty of Friendship, Cooperation and Mutual Assistance between Romania and the Soviet Union was signed.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Deletant&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; Soviet Union became a more influent power in Romania territory after this treaty was signed and Gheorghe carried out terrifying tasks, all imposed by Soviet Russia. As the communism became widespread in Romania (backed up by the Soviet Union), there was a strong censorship throughout political, economic, and cultural sectors in the Romanian society.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
When it comes to the cultural sector, the communist regime of Romania often used party-state propaganda to erase all the symbols and artifacts of the pre-communist era which could have remained in people's mind.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Ciobanu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; The communist party activists started the control of art &amp;quot;to eliminate and erase all traces of the previous configuration&amp;quot; and to dismantle the previous institutional model, etc.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Preda&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; The communist Romanian government not only got rid of all the previous institutions and art legacies which were founded in the pre-communist era, but also physically eliminated many actors, musicians, painters etc. As Romania established the Soviet model of communization process, it was taken for granted for authorities to impose &amp;quot;physical (arrests, killings, institutional purges) and psychological repression (terror, corruption, compromise)&amp;quot;.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Preda&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite web|last1=Preda|first1=Caterina|title=Chile and Romania: Censorship in Dictatorships|url=http://www.fairobserver.com/region/europe/chile-and-romania-censorship-in-dictatorships-14067/|website=Fair Observer|date=August 2014 }}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; In the meantime, the communist Romanian government announced lists of forbidden volumes between 1944 and 1948 along with the lists of forbidden writers. For the institutional level, the last thing Romanian government wanted was intellectuals who could be possible insurgents. Thus, government authorities expelled professors and students from universities and never let them come back again.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Preda&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; At the same time, the “Cominform Journal” was published under the Communist Party's supervision and this was delivered all around the world as the journal was published in many languages.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Williams&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite web|last1=Williams|first1=Murat|title=Country and Subject Reader Series, Romania|url=http://adst.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Romania.pdf|website=Association for Diplomatic Studies and Training}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; Cominform Journal specifically dealt with communism and was used to teach and spread the ideology all over the world and what were the right things to do under communism.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Williams&amp;quot;/&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
In regards to the political sector, to suppress the prevalent anti-communism and anti-Sovietism at that time, communist regime implemented many censorships everywhere in Romania, e.g. military force was mobilized to dismantle anti-communist movement.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Ciobanu&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite journal|last=Ciobanu|first=Monica|title=Remembering the Romanian Anti-Communist Armed Resistance: An Analysis of Local Lived Experience|journal=Eurostudia|volume=10|issue=1|year=2015|pages=105–123|doi=10.7202/1033884ar|doi-access=free}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; The people who were involved in resistance movements were hunted down by the authorities and usually incarcerated. There was religious persecution in Romania when it comes to Greek Catholics.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Ciobanu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; As Romania became part of the communist bloc after World War II, the Romanian Communist Party considered religion as a capitalist remnant, which could make people confused about the country's ideology.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;{{cite journal|last1=Stan|first1=Lavinia|last2=Lucian|first2=Turcescu|title=The Romanian Orthodox Church and Post-communist Democratisation|date=2000|publisher=Europe - Asia Studies 52|pages=1467–488|edition=no. 8}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; Despite this, the Romanian Communist Party still wanted to keep churches as the party thought that religion could be used to mobilize people and thus, to achieve the party's socioeconomic and political goals. Under communism, the church and the Communist party made a contract: the party would not repress the church in exchange for its unconditional supports. However, the church was still not allowed to pursue educational and charitable activities. There was even a patrimonial investigation made by authorities which claims that some people were punished for what their ancestors or kinship did.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Ciobanu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; People could have been prisoned just for having relatives abroad or making a joke against communism.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;vianu&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite book |last1=Vianu |first1=Lidia |title=Censorship in Romania |date=1998 |publisher=[[Central European University|Central European University Press]] |isbn=9639116092 |location=Budapest}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; In addition, the Romanian government limited the number of Americans to stay in the country.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Williams&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; Though Romania back then had some American ambassadors or politicians in its own territories, the movements of those Americans were severely restricted by the Romanian government.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Williams&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; Foreign diplomats were not allowed to travel around the country without special permission or to go near the [[Black Sea]] coast.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Mark&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite web|last1=Mark|first1=David|title=Country and Subject Reader Series, Romania|url=http://adst.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Romania.pdf|website=Association for Diplomatic Studies and Training}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; The Romanian government ruthlessly harassed people who had contact with American delegates. The government actually murdered a person, part of the local staff, by pumping too much Sodium pentothal, the truth drug, into her as a punishment for being associated with the American legations.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Mark&amp;quot;/&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Speaking of the economic sector, the Soviet Union had taken control of Romania's economy by creating about 20-22 [[SovRom|Soviet-Romanian joint companies]], including the airline company, the steel mills, the insurance company, road transport, harbors, etc.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Mark&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; The Soviets at that time seems to thoroughly dominate the East European area.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Virtually every published document, be it a newspaper article or a book, had to pass the censor's approval. The strictness of the censorship varied with time, the tightest being during the Stalinist era of the 1950s and the loosest during the early period of [[Nicolae Ceaușescu]]'s rule, which ended with the [[July Theses]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The purpose of the censorship apparatus was to subordinate all the aspects of the [[Romanian culture]] (including literature, history, art and philosophy) to the [[Romanian Communist Party|Communist Party]]'s ideology. All features of the Romanian culture were reinterpreted according to the regime's ideology, and any other interpretations were banned as forms of &amp;quot;bourgeois decadence&amp;quot;.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;{{cite book|first=Vladimir |last=Tismăneanu|author-link= Vladimir Tismăneanu|url=https://books.google.com/books?id=VemOBAAAQBAJ|title=Stalinism pentru eternitate|publisher= [[Polirom]]|location= Iași|year= 2005|isbn=973-681-899-3|page=147}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
== Under Nicolae Ceaușescu (1965–1989) ==&lt;br /&gt;
{{Original research|date=May 2022}}&lt;br /&gt;
Under Ceaușescu's second communist Romanian regime, propagandist material was the only available information to the public across the country and even this propagandist material (spread mostly via the national television and the party's newspapers) was controlled by the regime through its methods of sanction.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Lamasanu&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite journal|last1=Lămășanu|first1=Ștefana|title=Capturing the Romanian Revolution: Violent Imagery, Affect and the Televisual Event|journal=ProQuest Dissertations and Theses|date=2011}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; Since the mobilization of the population through written material was almost impossible, unofficial information was going around through gossips. Many foreign movies, music and books were also banned. At the same time, Nicolae Ceaușescu terrorized the population by obliging it to see his and [[Elena Ceaușescu|his wife]]'s portrait everywhere: &amp;quot;From pre-kindergarten classrooms to official offices, the walls of every institution in every corner of the country were required to be adorned with photographs of the couple&amp;quot;.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Lamasanu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; Ceaușescu purposely destroyed individual privacy.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;vianu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; From the mid-80s, due to the [[1980s austerity policy in Romania|austerity policy]] imposed by Ceaușescu, Romanians had limited access to electricity, heat and water, and also food was scarce.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Since 1990==&lt;br /&gt;
Since 1990 state censorship does not officially exist in Romania and attempts by state organizations have been only minor. The only high-profile state action was in the Armagedon scandal, when a citizen was arrested for e-mailing reports that were seen as damaging to then Prime Minister [[Adrian Năstase]]'s image.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;{{Cite web|url=http://www.freeex.ro/rapoarte/c/Conditia |title=Condiția libertății presei în România |publisher=Agenția de Monitorizare a Presei - Academia Cațavencu |url-status=bot: unknown |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20070928024943/http://www.freeex.ro/rapoarte/c/Conditia%20libertatii%20presei%202001%20-%202002.pdf |archive-date=2007-09-28}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; The official accusation was spreading of false information, but the accusations have been dropped.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Notes==&lt;br /&gt;
{{reflist}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Further reading==&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Liliana Corobca]], [https://books.google.com/books?id=9-wwAwAAQBAJ ''Controlul cǎrții. Cenzura literaturii în regimul comunist din România''], [[Polirom]], Iași, 2014, {{ISBN|978-973-23-3064-7}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Censorship in Romania| ]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Censorship in the Eastern Bloc]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Socialist Republic of Romania]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Romanian literature]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Cultural history of Romania]]&lt;br /&gt;
{{short description|Communist Romania strict rules}}&lt;br /&gt;
{{redirect|Censorship in Romania|censorship in present-day Romania|Media of Romania#Censorship}}&lt;br /&gt;
{{Censorship by country}}&lt;br /&gt;
'''Censorship in Communist Romania''' occurred during the [[Socialist Republic of Romania|Socialist Republic]] in two stages: under the first Communist president [[Gheorghe Gheorghiu-Dej]] (1947-1965) and the second and last Communist president [[Nicolae Ceaușescu]] (1965-1989).&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Groza government (1945–1947)==&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Petru Groza]] became the [[Prime Minister of Romania|Prime Minister]] in 1945, and under [[Soviet occupation of Romania|Soviet occupation]], his government started to communize Romania. Citizens' Committees were formed to assist the police, and thus, it was justified for these committees and the police to randomly check people's documents on the street, to search people's home without any notification and to inspect suspicious billeting refugees or Soviet officers.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Deletant&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite book |last=Deletant |first=Dennis |title=Communist terror in Romania: Gheorghiu-Dej and the Police State, 1948-1965 |date=1999 |publisher=[[C. Hurst &amp;amp; Co.]] |isbn=1850653860 |location=London |author-link=Dennis Deletant}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; There was also widespread violent repression and abrupt communization of the country in [[Socialist Republic of Romania|Romania]] in the context of post-World War II.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Ciobanu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; The supporters of the communist regime labeled the group of opponents as fascists, criminals, or anti-national components under Western interests, and blamed those opponents for destabilizing the country. Groza himself told the British journalists in 1945 that about 90,000 Romanians had been arrested in two months right after he seized the power.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Deletant&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; Groza also tried to get rid of the final obstacle to complete Soviet domination of Romania: overthrowing the [[Kingdom of Romania]] run by [[King of Romania|King]] [[Michael I of Romania|Michael]]. In the last half of 1947, King Michael was still on the regime while Soviet had so much power on Romanian economy.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Cleveland&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite web|last=Cleveland|first=Robert|title=Country and Subject Reader Series, Romania|url=http://adst.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Romania.pdf|website=Association for Diplomatic Studies and Training}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; Though pre-war Romania showed some features of democracy such as a constitution, a parliament, political parties etc., it still had a king and was politically oligarchic. As the King Michael continuously refused to abdicate the throne, Groza threatened him with the civil war. Michael wanted to avoid the bloodshed and he gave in on 30 December 1947, and on that same day, the Romanian People's Republic was declared.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Cleveland&amp;quot;/&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
== Under Gheorghe Gheorghiu-Dej (1947–1965) ==&lt;br /&gt;
As the Romanian People's Republic was declared, [[Gheorghe Gheorghiu-Dej]] became the first president of the country and the Communist politicians, including himself, were eager to establish the foundation of the totalitarian state. As a first step, on 4 February 1948, a Treaty of Friendship, Cooperation and Mutual Assistance between Romania and the Soviet Union was signed.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Deletant&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; Soviet Union became a more influent power in Romania territory after this treaty was signed and Gheorghe carried out terrifying tasks, all imposed by Soviet Russia. As the communism became widespread in Romania (backed up by the Soviet Union), there was a strong censorship throughout political, economic, and cultural sectors in the Romanian society.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
When it comes to the cultural sector, the communist regime of Romania often used party-state propaganda to erase all the symbols and artifacts of the pre-communist era which could have remained in people's mind.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Ciobanu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; The communist party activists started the control of art &amp;quot;to eliminate and erase all traces of the previous configuration&amp;quot; and to dismantle the previous institutional model, etc.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Preda&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; The communist Romanian government not only got rid of all the previous institutions and art legacies which were founded in the pre-communist era, but also physically eliminated many actors, musicians, painters etc. As Romania established the Soviet model of communization process, it was taken for granted for authorities to impose &amp;quot;physical (arrests, killings, institutional purges) and psychological repression (terror, corruption, compromise)&amp;quot;.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Preda&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite web|last1=Preda|first1=Caterina|title=Chile and Romania: Censorship in Dictatorships|url=http://www.fairobserver.com/region/europe/chile-and-romania-censorship-in-dictatorships-14067/|website=Fair Observer|date=August 2014 }}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; In the meantime, the communist Romanian government announced lists of forbidden volumes between 1944 and 1948 along with the lists of forbidden writers. For the institutional level, the last thing Romanian government wanted was intellectuals who could be possible insurgents. Thus, government authorities expelled professors and students from universities and never let them come back again.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Preda&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; At the same time, the “Cominform Journal” was published under the Communist Party's supervision and this was delivered all around the world as the journal was published in many languages.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Williams&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite web|last1=Williams|first1=Murat|title=Country and Subject Reader Series, Romania|url=http://adst.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Romania.pdf|website=Association for Diplomatic Studies and Training}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; Cominform Journal specifically dealt with communism and was used to teach and spread the ideology all over the world and what were the right things to do under communism.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Williams&amp;quot;/&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
In regards to the political sector, to suppress the prevalent anti-communism and anti-Sovietism at that time, communist regime implemented many censorships everywhere in Romania, e.g. military force was mobilized to dismantle anti-communist movement.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Ciobanu&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite journal|last=Ciobanu|first=Monica|title=Remembering the Romanian Anti-Communist Armed Resistance: An Analysis of Local Lived Experience|journal=Eurostudia|volume=10|issue=1|year=2015|pages=105–123|doi=10.7202/1033884ar|doi-access=free}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; The people who were involved in resistance movements were hunted down by the authorities and usually incarcerated. There was religious persecution in Romania when it comes to Greek Catholics.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Ciobanu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; As Romania became part of the communist bloc after World War II, the Romanian Communist Party considered religion as a capitalist remnant, which could make people confused about the country's ideology.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;{{cite journal|last1=Stan|first1=Lavinia|last2=Lucian|first2=Turcescu|title=The Romanian Orthodox Church and Post-communist Democratisation|date=2000|publisher=Europe - Asia Studies 52|pages=1467–488|edition=no. 8}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; Despite this, the Romanian Communist Party still wanted to keep churches as the party thought that religion could be used to mobilize people and thus, to achieve the party's socioeconomic and political goals. Under communism, the church and the Communist party made a contract: the party would not repress the church in exchange for its unconditional supports. However, the church was still not allowed to pursue educational and charitable activities. There was even a patrimonial investigation made by authorities which claims that some people were punished for what their ancestors or kinship did.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Ciobanu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; People could have been prisoned just for having relatives abroad or making a joke against communism.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;vianu&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite book |last1=Vianu |first1=Lidia |title=Censorship in Romania |date=1998 |publisher=[[Central European University|Central European University Press]] |isbn=9639116092 |location=Budapest}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; In addition, the Romanian government limited the number of Americans to stay in the country.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Williams&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; Though Romania back then had some American ambassadors or politicians in its own territories, the movements of those Americans were severely restricted by the Romanian government.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Williams&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; Foreign diplomats were not allowed to travel around the country without special permission or to go near the [[Black Sea]] coast.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Mark&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite web|last1=Mark|first1=David|title=Country and Subject Reader Series, Romania|url=http://adst.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Romania.pdf|website=Association for Diplomatic Studies and Training}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; The Romanian government ruthlessly harassed people who had contact with American delegates. The government actually murdered a person, part of the local staff, by pumping too much Sodium pentothal, the truth drug, into her as a punishment for being associated with the American legations.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Mark&amp;quot;/&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Speaking of the economic sector, the Soviet Union had taken control of Romania's economy by creating about 20-22 [[SovRom|Soviet-Romanian joint companies]], including the airline company, the steel mills, the insurance company, road transport, harbors, etc.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Mark&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; The Soviets at that time seems to thoroughly dominate the East European area.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Virtually every published document, be it a newspaper article or a book, had to pass the censor's approval. The strictness of the censorship varied with time, the tightest being during the Stalinist era of the 1950s and the loosest during the early period of [[Nicolae Ceaușescu]]'s rule, which ended with the [[July Theses]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The purpose of the censorship apparatus was to subordinate all the aspects of the [[Romanian culture]] (including literature, history, art and philosophy) to the [[Romanian Communist Party|Communist Party]]'s ideology. All features of the Romanian culture were reinterpreted according to the regime's ideology, and any other interpretations were banned as forms of &amp;quot;bourgeois decadence&amp;quot;.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;{{cite book|first=Vladimir |last=Tismăneanu|author-link= Vladimir Tismăneanu|url=https://books.google.com/books?id=VemOBAAAQBAJ|title=Stalinism pentru eternitate|publisher= [[Polirom]]|location= Iași|year= 2005|isbn=973-681-899-3|page=147}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
== Under Nicolae Ceaușescu (1965–1989) ==&lt;br /&gt;
{{Original research|date=May 2022}}&lt;br /&gt;
Under Ceaușescu's second communist Romanian regime, propagandist material was the only available information to the public across the country and even this propagandist material (spread mostly via the national television and the party's newspapers) was controlled by the regime through its methods of sanction.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Lamasanu&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite journal|last1=Lămășanu|first1=Ștefana|title=Capturing the Romanian Revolution: Violent Imagery, Affect and the Televisual Event|journal=ProQuest Dissertations and Theses|date=2011}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; Since the mobilization of the population through written material was almost impossible, unofficial information was going around through gossips. Many foreign movies, music and books were also banned. At the same time, Nicolae Ceaușescu terrorized the population by obliging it to see his and [[Elena Ceaușescu|his wife]]'s portrait everywhere: &amp;quot;From pre-kindergarten classrooms to official offices, the walls of every institution in every corner of the country were required to be adorned with photographs of the couple&amp;quot;.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Lamasanu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; Ceaușescu purposely destroyed individual privacy.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;vianu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; From the mid-80s, due to the [[1980s austerity policy in Romania|austerity policy]] imposed by Ceaușescu, Romanians had limited access to electricity, heat and water, and also food was scarce.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Since 1990==&lt;br /&gt;
Since 1990 state censorship does not officially exist in Romania and attempts by state organizations have been only minor. The only high-profile state action was in the Armagedon scandal, when a citizen was arrested for e-mailing reports that were seen as damaging to then Prime Minister [[Adrian Năstase]]'s image.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;{{Cite web|url=http://www.freeex.ro/rapoarte/c/Conditia |title=Condiția libertății presei în România |publisher=Agenția de Monitorizare a Presei - Academia Cațavencu |url-status=bot: unknown |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20070928024943/http://www.freeex.ro/rapoarte/c/Conditia%20libertatii%20presei%202001%20-%202002.pdf |archive-date=2007-09-28}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; The official accusation was spreading of false information, but the accusations have been dropped.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Notes==&lt;br /&gt;
{{reflist}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Further reading==&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Liliana Corobca]], [https://books.google.com/books?id=9-wwAwAAQBAJ ''Controlul cǎrții. Cenzura literaturii în regimul comunist din România''], [[Polirom]], Iași, 2014, {{ISBN|978-973-23-3064-7}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Censorship in Romania| ]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Censorship in the Eastern Bloc]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Socialist Republic of Romania]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Romanian literature]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Cultural history of Romania]]&lt;br /&gt;
{{short description|Communist Romania strict rules}}&lt;br /&gt;
{{redirect|Censorship in Romania|censorship in present-day Romania|Media of Romania#Censorship}}&lt;br /&gt;
{{Censorship by country}}&lt;br /&gt;
'''Censorship in Communist Romania''' occurred during the [[Socialist Republic of Romania|Socialist Republic]] in two stages: under the first Communist president [[Gheorghe Gheorghiu-Dej]] (1947-1965) and the second and last Communist president [[Nicolae Ceaușescu]] (1965-1989).&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Groza government (1945–1947)==&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Petru Groza]] became the [[Prime Minister of Romania|Prime Minister]] in 1945, and under [[Soviet occupation of Romania|Soviet occupation]], his government started to communize Romania. Citizens' Committees were formed to assist the police, and thus, it was justified for these committees and the police to randomly check people's documents on the street, to search people's home without any notification and to inspect suspicious billeting refugees or Soviet officers.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Deletant&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite book |last=Deletant |first=Dennis |title=Communist terror in Romania: Gheorghiu-Dej and the Police State, 1948-1965 |date=1999 |publisher=[[C. Hurst &amp;amp; Co.]] |isbn=1850653860 |location=London |author-link=Dennis Deletant}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; There was also widespread violent repression and abrupt communization of the country in [[Socialist Republic of Romania|Romania]] in the context of post-World War II.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Ciobanu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; The supporters of the communist regime labeled the group of opponents as fascists, criminals, or anti-national components under Western interests, and blamed those opponents for destabilizing the country. Groza himself told the British journalists in 1945 that about 90,000 Romanians had been arrested in two months right after he seized the power.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Deletant&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; Groza also tried to get rid of the final obstacle to complete Soviet domination of Romania: overthrowing the [[Kingdom of Romania]] run by [[King of Romania|King]] [[Michael I of Romania|Michael]]. In the last half of 1947, King Michael was still on the regime while Soviet had so much power on Romanian economy.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Cleveland&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite web|last=Cleveland|first=Robert|title=Country and Subject Reader Series, Romania|url=http://adst.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Romania.pdf|website=Association for Diplomatic Studies and Training}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; Though pre-war Romania showed some features of democracy such as a constitution, a parliament, political parties etc., it still had a king and was politically oligarchic. As the King Michael continuously refused to abdicate the throne, Groza threatened him with the civil war. Michael wanted to avoid the bloodshed and he gave in on 30 December 1947, and on that same day, the Romanian People's Republic was declared.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Cleveland&amp;quot;/&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
== Under Gheorghe Gheorghiu-Dej (1947–1965) ==&lt;br /&gt;
As the Romanian People's Republic was declared, [[Gheorghe Gheorghiu-Dej]] became the first president of the country and the Communist politicians, including himself, were eager to establish the foundation of the totalitarian state. As a first step, on 4 February 1948, a Treaty of Friendship, Cooperation and Mutual Assistance between Romania and the Soviet Union was signed.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Deletant&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; Soviet Union became a more influent power in Romania territory after this treaty was signed and Gheorghe carried out terrifying tasks, all imposed by Soviet Russia. As the communism became widespread in Romania (backed up by the Soviet Union), there was a strong censorship throughout political, economic, and cultural sectors in the Romanian society.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
When it comes to the cultural sector, the communist regime of Romania often used party-state propaganda to erase all the symbols and artifacts of the pre-communist era which could have remained in people's mind.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Ciobanu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; The communist party activists started the control of art &amp;quot;to eliminate and erase all traces of the previous configuration&amp;quot; and to dismantle the previous institutional model, etc.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Preda&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; The communist Romanian government not only got rid of all the previous institutions and art legacies which were founded in the pre-communist era, but also physically eliminated many actors, musicians, painters etc. As Romania established the Soviet model of communization process, it was taken for granted for authorities to impose &amp;quot;physical (arrests, killings, institutional purges) and psychological repression (terror, corruption, compromise)&amp;quot;.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Preda&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite web|last1=Preda|first1=Caterina|title=Chile and Romania: Censorship in Dictatorships|url=http://www.fairobserver.com/region/europe/chile-and-romania-censorship-in-dictatorships-14067/|website=Fair Observer|date=August 2014 }}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; In the meantime, the communist Romanian government announced lists of forbidden volumes between 1944 and 1948 along with the lists of forbidden writers. For the institutional level, the last thing Romanian government wanted was intellectuals who could be possible insurgents. Thus, government authorities expelled professors and students from universities and never let them come back again.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Preda&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; At the same time, the “Cominform Journal” was published under the Communist Party's supervision and this was delivered all around the world as the journal was published in many languages.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Williams&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite web|last1=Williams|first1=Murat|title=Country and Subject Reader Series, Romania|url=http://adst.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Romania.pdf|website=Association for Diplomatic Studies and Training}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; Cominform Journal specifically dealt with communism and was used to teach and spread the ideology all over the world and what were the right things to do under communism.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Williams&amp;quot;/&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
In regards to the political sector, to suppress the prevalent anti-communism and anti-Sovietism at that time, communist regime implemented many censorships everywhere in Romania, e.g. military force was mobilized to dismantle anti-communist movement.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Ciobanu&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite journal|last=Ciobanu|first=Monica|title=Remembering the Romanian Anti-Communist Armed Resistance: An Analysis of Local Lived Experience|journal=Eurostudia|volume=10|issue=1|year=2015|pages=105–123|doi=10.7202/1033884ar|doi-access=free}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; The people who were involved in resistance movements were hunted down by the authorities and usually incarcerated. There was religious persecution in Romania when it comes to Greek Catholics.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Ciobanu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; As Romania became part of the communist bloc after World War II, the Romanian Communist Party considered religion as a capitalist remnant, which could make people confused about the country's ideology.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;{{cite journal|last1=Stan|first1=Lavinia|last2=Lucian|first2=Turcescu|title=The Romanian Orthodox Church and Post-communist Democratisation|date=2000|publisher=Europe - Asia Studies 52|pages=1467–488|edition=no. 8}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; Despite this, the Romanian Communist Party still wanted to keep churches as the party thought that religion could be used to mobilize people and thus, to achieve the party's socioeconomic and political goals. Under communism, the church and the Communist party made a contract: the party would not repress the church in exchange for its unconditional supports. However, the church was still not allowed to pursue educational and charitable activities. There was even a patrimonial investigation made by authorities which claims that some people were punished for what their ancestors or kinship did.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Ciobanu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; People could have been prisoned just for having relatives abroad or making a joke against communism.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;vianu&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite book |last1=Vianu |first1=Lidia |title=Censorship in Romania |date=1998 |publisher=[[Central European University|Central European University Press]] |isbn=9639116092 |location=Budapest}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; In addition, the Romanian government limited the number of Americans to stay in the country.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Williams&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; Though Romania back then had some American ambassadors or politicians in its own territories, the movements of those Americans were severely restricted by the Romanian government.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Williams&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; Foreign diplomats were not allowed to travel around the country without special permission or to go near the [[Black Sea]] coast.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Mark&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite web|last1=Mark|first1=David|title=Country and Subject Reader Series, Romania|url=http://adst.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Romania.pdf|website=Association for Diplomatic Studies and Training}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; The Romanian government ruthlessly harassed people who had contact with American delegates. The government actually murdered a person, part of the local staff, by pumping too much Sodium pentothal, the truth drug, into her as a punishment for being associated with the American legations.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Mark&amp;quot;/&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Speaking of the economic sector, the Soviet Union had taken control of Romania's economy by creating about 20-22 [[SovRom|Soviet-Romanian joint companies]], including the airline company, the steel mills, the insurance company, road transport, harbors, etc.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Mark&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; The Soviets at that time seems to thoroughly dominate the East European area.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Virtually every published document, be it a newspaper article or a book, had to pass the censor's approval. The strictness of the censorship varied with time, the tightest being during the Stalinist era of the 1950s and the loosest during the early period of [[Nicolae Ceaușescu]]'s rule, which ended with the [[July Theses]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The purpose of the censorship apparatus was to subordinate all the aspects of the [[Romanian culture]] (including literature, history, art and philosophy) to the [[Romanian Communist Party|Communist Party]]'s ideology. All features of the Romanian culture were reinterpreted according to the regime's ideology, and any other interpretations were banned as forms of &amp;quot;bourgeois decadence&amp;quot;.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;{{cite book|first=Vladimir |last=Tismăneanu|author-link= Vladimir Tismăneanu|url=https://books.google.com/books?id=VemOBAAAQBAJ|title=Stalinism pentru eternitate|publisher= [[Polirom]]|location= Iași|year= 2005|isbn=973-681-899-3|page=147}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
== Under Nicolae Ceaușescu (1965–1989) ==&lt;br /&gt;
{{Original research|date=May 2022}}&lt;br /&gt;
Under Ceaușescu's second communist Romanian regime, propagandist material was the only available information to the public across the country and even this propagandist material (spread mostly via the national television and the party's newspapers) was controlled by the regime through its methods of sanction.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Lamasanu&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite journal|last1=Lămășanu|first1=Ștefana|title=Capturing the Romanian Revolution: Violent Imagery, Affect and the Televisual Event|journal=ProQuest Dissertations and Theses|date=2011}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; Since the mobilization of the population through written material was almost impossible, unofficial information was going around through gossips. Many foreign movies, music and books were also banned. At the same time, Nicolae Ceaușescu terrorized the population by obliging it to see his and [[Elena Ceaușescu|his wife]]'s portrait everywhere: &amp;quot;From pre-kindergarten classrooms to official offices, the walls of every institution in every corner of the country were required to be adorned with photographs of the couple&amp;quot;.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Lamasanu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; Ceaușescu purposely destroyed individual privacy.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;vianu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; From the mid-80s, due to the [[1980s austerity policy in Romania|austerity policy]] imposed by Ceaușescu, Romanians had limited access to electricity, heat and water, and also food was scarce.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Since 1990==&lt;br /&gt;
Since 1990 state censorship does not officially exist in Romania and attempts by state organizations have been only minor. The only high-profile state action was in the Armagedon scandal, when a citizen was arrested for e-mailing reports that were seen as damaging to then Prime Minister [[Adrian Năstase]]'s image.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;{{Cite web|url=http://www.freeex.ro/rapoarte/c/Conditia |title=Condiția libertății presei în România |publisher=Agenția de Monitorizare a Presei - Academia Cațavencu |url-status=bot: unknown |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20070928024943/http://www.freeex.ro/rapoarte/c/Conditia%20libertatii%20presei%202001%20-%202002.pdf |archive-date=2007-09-28}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; The official accusation was spreading of false information, but the accusations have been dropped.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Notes==&lt;br /&gt;
{{reflist}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Further reading==&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Liliana Corobca]], [https://books.google.com/books?id=9-wwAwAAQBAJ ''Controlul cǎrții. Cenzura literaturii în regimul comunist din România''], [[Polirom]], Iași, 2014, {{ISBN|978-973-23-3064-7}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Censorship in Romania| ]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Censorship in the Eastern Bloc]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Socialist Republic of Romania]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Romanian literature]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Cultural history of Romania]]&lt;br /&gt;
{{short description|Communist Romania strict rules}}&lt;br /&gt;
{{redirect|Censorship in Romania|censorship in present-day Romania|Media of Romania#Censorship}}&lt;br /&gt;
{{Censorship by country}}&lt;br /&gt;
'''Censorship in Communist Romania''' occurred during the [[Socialist Republic of Romania|Socialist Republic]] in two stages: under the first Communist president [[Gheorghe Gheorghiu-Dej]] (1947-1965) and the second and last Communist president [[Nicolae Ceaușescu]] (1965-1989).&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Groza government (1945–1947)==&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Petru Groza]] became the [[Prime Minister of Romania|Prime Minister]] in 1945, and under [[Soviet occupation of Romania|Soviet occupation]], his government started to communize Romania. Citizens' Committees were formed to assist the police, and thus, it was justified for these committees and the police to randomly check people's documents on the street, to search people's home without any notification and to inspect suspicious billeting refugees or Soviet officers.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Deletant&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite book |last=Deletant |first=Dennis |title=Communist terror in Romania: Gheorghiu-Dej and the Police State, 1948-1965 |date=1999 |publisher=[[C. Hurst &amp;amp; Co.]] |isbn=1850653860 |location=London |author-link=Dennis Deletant}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; There was also widespread violent repression and abrupt communization of the country in [[Socialist Republic of Romania|Romania]] in the context of post-World War II.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Ciobanu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; The supporters of the communist regime labeled the group of opponents as fascists, criminals, or anti-national components under Western interests, and blamed those opponents for destabilizing the country. Groza himself told the British journalists in 1945 that about 90,000 Romanians had been arrested in two months right after he seized the power.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Deletant&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; Groza also tried to get rid of the final obstacle to complete Soviet domination of Romania: overthrowing the [[Kingdom of Romania]] run by [[King of Romania|King]] [[Michael I of Romania|Michael]]. In the last half of 1947, King Michael was still on the regime while Soviet had so much power on Romanian economy.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Cleveland&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite web|last=Cleveland|first=Robert|title=Country and Subject Reader Series, Romania|url=http://adst.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Romania.pdf|website=Association for Diplomatic Studies and Training}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; Though pre-war Romania showed some features of democracy such as a constitution, a parliament, political parties etc., it still had a king and was politically oligarchic. As the King Michael continuously refused to abdicate the throne, Groza threatened him with the civil war. Michael wanted to avoid the bloodshed and he gave in on 30 December 1947, and on that same day, the Romanian People's Republic was declared.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Cleveland&amp;quot;/&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
== Under Gheorghe Gheorghiu-Dej (1947–1965) ==&lt;br /&gt;
As the Romanian People's Republic was declared, [[Gheorghe Gheorghiu-Dej]] became the first president of the country and the Communist politicians, including himself, were eager to establish the foundation of the totalitarian state. As a first step, on 4 February 1948, a Treaty of Friendship, Cooperation and Mutual Assistance between Romania and the Soviet Union was signed.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Deletant&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; Soviet Union became a more influent power in Romania territory after this treaty was signed and Gheorghe carried out terrifying tasks, all imposed by Soviet Russia. As the communism became widespread in Romania (backed up by the Soviet Union), there was a strong censorship throughout political, economic, and cultural sectors in the Romanian society.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
When it comes to the cultural sector, the communist regime of Romania often used party-state propaganda to erase all the symbols and artifacts of the pre-communist era which could have remained in people's mind.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Ciobanu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; The communist party activists started the control of art &amp;quot;to eliminate and erase all traces of the previous configuration&amp;quot; and to dismantle the previous institutional model, etc.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Preda&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; The communist Romanian government not only got rid of all the previous institutions and art legacies which were founded in the pre-communist era, but also physically eliminated many actors, musicians, painters etc. As Romania established the Soviet model of communization process, it was taken for granted for authorities to impose &amp;quot;physical (arrests, killings, institutional purges) and psychological repression (terror, corruption, compromise)&amp;quot;.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Preda&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite web|last1=Preda|first1=Caterina|title=Chile and Romania: Censorship in Dictatorships|url=http://www.fairobserver.com/region/europe/chile-and-romania-censorship-in-dictatorships-14067/|website=Fair Observer|date=August 2014 }}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; In the meantime, the communist Romanian government announced lists of forbidden volumes between 1944 and 1948 along with the lists of forbidden writers. For the institutional level, the last thing Romanian government wanted was intellectuals who could be possible insurgents. Thus, government authorities expelled professors and students from universities and never let them come back again.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Preda&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; At the same time, the “Cominform Journal” was published under the Communist Party's supervision and this was delivered all around the world as the journal was published in many languages.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Williams&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite web|last1=Williams|first1=Murat|title=Country and Subject Reader Series, Romania|url=http://adst.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Romania.pdf|website=Association for Diplomatic Studies and Training}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; Cominform Journal specifically dealt with communism and was used to teach and spread the ideology all over the world and what were the right things to do under communism.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Williams&amp;quot;/&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
In regards to the political sector, to suppress the prevalent anti-communism and anti-Sovietism at that time, communist regime implemented many censorships everywhere in Romania, e.g. military force was mobilized to dismantle anti-communist movement.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Ciobanu&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite journal|last=Ciobanu|first=Monica|title=Remembering the Romanian Anti-Communist Armed Resistance: An Analysis of Local Lived Experience|journal=Eurostudia|volume=10|issue=1|year=2015|pages=105–123|doi=10.7202/1033884ar|doi-access=free}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; The people who were involved in resistance movements were hunted down by the authorities and usually incarcerated. There was religious persecution in Romania when it comes to Greek Catholics.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Ciobanu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; As Romania became part of the communist bloc after World War II, the Romanian Communist Party considered religion as a capitalist remnant, which could make people confused about the country's ideology.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;{{cite journal|last1=Stan|first1=Lavinia|last2=Lucian|first2=Turcescu|title=The Romanian Orthodox Church and Post-communist Democratisation|date=2000|publisher=Europe - Asia Studies 52|pages=1467–488|edition=no. 8}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; Despite this, the Romanian Communist Party still wanted to keep churches as the party thought that religion could be used to mobilize people and thus, to achieve the party's socioeconomic and political goals. Under communism, the church and the Communist party made a contract: the party would not repress the church in exchange for its unconditional supports. However, the church was still not allowed to pursue educational and charitable activities. There was even a patrimonial investigation made by authorities which claims that some people were punished for what their ancestors or kinship did.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Ciobanu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; People could have been prisoned just for having relatives abroad or making a joke against communism.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;vianu&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite book |last1=Vianu |first1=Lidia |title=Censorship in Romania |date=1998 |publisher=[[Central European University|Central European University Press]] |isbn=9639116092 |location=Budapest}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; In addition, the Romanian government limited the number of Americans to stay in the country.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Williams&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; Though Romania back then had some American ambassadors or politicians in its own territories, the movements of those Americans were severely restricted by the Romanian government.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Williams&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; Foreign diplomats were not allowed to travel around the country without special permission or to go near the [[Black Sea]] coast.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Mark&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite web|last1=Mark|first1=David|title=Country and Subject Reader Series, Romania|url=http://adst.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Romania.pdf|website=Association for Diplomatic Studies and Training}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; The Romanian government ruthlessly harassed people who had contact with American delegates. The government actually murdered a person, part of the local staff, by pumping too much Sodium pentothal, the truth drug, into her as a punishment for being associated with the American legations.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Mark&amp;quot;/&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Speaking of the economic sector, the Soviet Union had taken control of Romania's economy by creating about 20-22 [[SovRom|Soviet-Romanian joint companies]], including the airline company, the steel mills, the insurance company, road transport, harbors, etc.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Mark&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; The Soviets at that time seems to thoroughly dominate the East European area.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Virtually every published document, be it a newspaper article or a book, had to pass the censor's approval. The strictness of the censorship varied with time, the tightest being during the Stalinist era of the 1950s and the loosest during the early period of [[Nicolae Ceaușescu]]'s rule, which ended with the [[July Theses]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The purpose of the censorship apparatus was to subordinate all the aspects of the [[Romanian culture]] (including literature, history, art and philosophy) to the [[Romanian Communist Party|Communist Party]]'s ideology. All features of the Romanian culture were reinterpreted according to the regime's ideology, and any other interpretations were banned as forms of &amp;quot;bourgeois decadence&amp;quot;.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;{{cite book|first=Vladimir |last=Tismăneanu|author-link= Vladimir Tismăneanu|url=https://books.google.com/books?id=VemOBAAAQBAJ|title=Stalinism pentru eternitate|publisher= [[Polirom]]|location= Iași|year= 2005|isbn=973-681-899-3|page=147}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
== Under Nicolae Ceaușescu (1965–1989) ==&lt;br /&gt;
{{Original research|date=May 2022}}&lt;br /&gt;
Under Ceaușescu's second communist Romanian regime, propagandist material was the only available information to the public across the country and even this propagandist material (spread mostly via the national television and the party's newspapers) was controlled by the regime through its methods of sanction.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Lamasanu&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite journal|last1=Lămășanu|first1=Ștefana|title=Capturing the Romanian Revolution: Violent Imagery, Affect and the Televisual Event|journal=ProQuest Dissertations and Theses|date=2011}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; Since the mobilization of the population through written material was almost impossible, unofficial information was going around through gossips. Many foreign movies, music and books were also banned. At the same time, Nicolae Ceaușescu terrorized the population by obliging it to see his and [[Elena Ceaușescu|his wife]]'s portrait everywhere: &amp;quot;From pre-kindergarten classrooms to official offices, the walls of every institution in every corner of the country were required to be adorned with photographs of the couple&amp;quot;.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Lamasanu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; Ceaușescu purposely destroyed individual privacy.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;vianu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; From the mid-80s, due to the [[1980s austerity policy in Romania|austerity policy]] imposed by Ceaușescu, Romanians had limited access to electricity, heat and water, and also food was scarce.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Since 1990==&lt;br /&gt;
Since 1990 state censorship does not officially exist in Romania and attempts by state organizations have been only minor. The only high-profile state action was in the Armagedon scandal, when a citizen was arrested for e-mailing reports that were seen as damaging to then Prime Minister [[Adrian Năstase]]'s image.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;{{Cite web|url=http://www.freeex.ro/rapoarte/c/Conditia |title=Condiția libertății presei în România |publisher=Agenția de Monitorizare a Presei - Academia Cațavencu |url-status=bot: unknown |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20070928024943/http://www.freeex.ro/rapoarte/c/Conditia%20libertatii%20presei%202001%20-%202002.pdf |archive-date=2007-09-28}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; The official accusation was spreading of false information, but the accusations have been dropped.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Notes==&lt;br /&gt;
{{reflist}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Further reading==&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Liliana Corobca]], [https://books.google.com/books?id=9-wwAwAAQBAJ ''Controlul cǎrții. Cenzura literaturii în regimul comunist din România''], [[Polirom]], Iași, 2014, {{ISBN|978-973-23-3064-7}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Censorship in Romania| ]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Censorship in the Eastern Bloc]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Socialist Republic of Romania]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Romanian literature]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Cultural history of Romania]]&lt;br /&gt;
{{short description|Communist Romania strict rules}}&lt;br /&gt;
{{redirect|Censorship in Romania|censorship in present-day Romania|Media of Romania#Censorship}}&lt;br /&gt;
{{Censorship by country}}&lt;br /&gt;
'''Censorship in Communist Romania''' occurred during the [[Socialist Republic of Romania|Socialist Republic]] in two stages: under the first Communist president [[Gheorghe Gheorghiu-Dej]] (1947-1965) and the second and last Communist president [[Nicolae Ceaușescu]] (1965-1989).&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Groza government (1945–1947)==&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Petru Groza]] became the [[Prime Minister of Romania|Prime Minister]] in 1945, and under [[Soviet occupation of Romania|Soviet occupation]], his government started to communize Romania. Citizens' Committees were formed to assist the police, and thus, it was justified for these committees and the police to randomly check people's documents on the street, to search people's home without any notification and to inspect suspicious billeting refugees or Soviet officers.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Deletant&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite book |last=Deletant |first=Dennis |title=Communist terror in Romania: Gheorghiu-Dej and the Police State, 1948-1965 |date=1999 |publisher=[[C. Hurst &amp;amp; Co.]] |isbn=1850653860 |location=London |author-link=Dennis Deletant}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; There was also widespread violent repression and abrupt communization of the country in [[Socialist Republic of Romania|Romania]] in the context of post-World War II.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Ciobanu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; The supporters of the communist regime labeled the group of opponents as fascists, criminals, or anti-national components under Western interests, and blamed those opponents for destabilizing the country. Groza himself told the British journalists in 1945 that about 90,000 Romanians had been arrested in two months right after he seized the power.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Deletant&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; Groza also tried to get rid of the final obstacle to complete Soviet domination of Romania: overthrowing the [[Kingdom of Romania]] run by [[King of Romania|King]] [[Michael I of Romania|Michael]]. In the last half of 1947, King Michael was still on the regime while Soviet had so much power on Romanian economy.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Cleveland&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite web|last=Cleveland|first=Robert|title=Country and Subject Reader Series, Romania|url=http://adst.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Romania.pdf|website=Association for Diplomatic Studies and Training}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; Though pre-war Romania showed some features of democracy such as a constitution, a parliament, political parties etc., it still had a king and was politically oligarchic. As the King Michael continuously refused to abdicate the throne, Groza threatened him with the civil war. Michael wanted to avoid the bloodshed and he gave in on 30 December 1947, and on that same day, the Romanian People's Republic was declared.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Cleveland&amp;quot;/&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
== Under Gheorghe Gheorghiu-Dej (1947–1965) ==&lt;br /&gt;
As the Romanian People's Republic was declared, [[Gheorghe Gheorghiu-Dej]] became the first president of the country and the Communist politicians, including himself, were eager to establish the foundation of the totalitarian state. As a first step, on 4 February 1948, a Treaty of Friendship, Cooperation and Mutual Assistance between Romania and the Soviet Union was signed.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Deletant&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; Soviet Union became a more influent power in Romania territory after this treaty was signed and Gheorghe carried out terrifying tasks, all imposed by Soviet Russia. As the communism became widespread in Romania (backed up by the Soviet Union), there was a strong censorship throughout political, economic, and cultural sectors in the Romanian society.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
When it comes to the cultural sector, the communist regime of Romania often used party-state propaganda to erase all the symbols and artifacts of the pre-communist era which could have remained in people's mind.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Ciobanu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; The communist party activists started the control of art &amp;quot;to eliminate and erase all traces of the previous configuration&amp;quot; and to dismantle the previous institutional model, etc.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Preda&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; The communist Romanian government not only got rid of all the previous institutions and art legacies which were founded in the pre-communist era, but also physically eliminated many actors, musicians, painters etc. As Romania established the Soviet model of communization process, it was taken for granted for authorities to impose &amp;quot;physical (arrests, killings, institutional purges) and psychological repression (terror, corruption, compromise)&amp;quot;.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Preda&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite web|last1=Preda|first1=Caterina|title=Chile and Romania: Censorship in Dictatorships|url=http://www.fairobserver.com/region/europe/chile-and-romania-censorship-in-dictatorships-14067/|website=Fair Observer|date=August 2014 }}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; In the meantime, the communist Romanian government announced lists of forbidden volumes between 1944 and 1948 along with the lists of forbidden writers. For the institutional level, the last thing Romanian government wanted was intellectuals who could be possible insurgents. Thus, government authorities expelled professors and students from universities and never let them come back again.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Preda&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; At the same time, the “Cominform Journal” was published under the Communist Party's supervision and this was delivered all around the world as the journal was published in many languages.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Williams&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite web|last1=Williams|first1=Murat|title=Country and Subject Reader Series, Romania|url=http://adst.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Romania.pdf|website=Association for Diplomatic Studies and Training}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; Cominform Journal specifically dealt with communism and was used to teach and spread the ideology all over the world and what were the right things to do under communism.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Williams&amp;quot;/&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
In regards to the political sector, to suppress the prevalent anti-communism and anti-Sovietism at that time, communist regime implemented many censorships everywhere in Romania, e.g. military force was mobilized to dismantle anti-communist movement.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Ciobanu&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite journal|last=Ciobanu|first=Monica|title=Remembering the Romanian Anti-Communist Armed Resistance: An Analysis of Local Lived Experience|journal=Eurostudia|volume=10|issue=1|year=2015|pages=105–123|doi=10.7202/1033884ar|doi-access=free}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; The people who were involved in resistance movements were hunted down by the authorities and usually incarcerated. There was religious persecution in Romania when it comes to Greek Catholics.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Ciobanu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; As Romania became part of the communist bloc after World War II, the Romanian Communist Party considered religion as a capitalist remnant, which could make people confused about the country's ideology.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;{{cite journal|last1=Stan|first1=Lavinia|last2=Lucian|first2=Turcescu|title=The Romanian Orthodox Church and Post-communist Democratisation|date=2000|publisher=Europe - Asia Studies 52|pages=1467–488|edition=no. 8}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; Despite this, the Romanian Communist Party still wanted to keep churches as the party thought that religion could be used to mobilize people and thus, to achieve the party's socioeconomic and political goals. Under communism, the church and the Communist party made a contract: the party would not repress the church in exchange for its unconditional supports. However, the church was still not allowed to pursue educational and charitable activities. There was even a patrimonial investigation made by authorities which claims that some people were punished for what their ancestors or kinship did.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Ciobanu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; People could have been prisoned just for having relatives abroad or making a joke against communism.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;vianu&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite book |last1=Vianu |first1=Lidia |title=Censorship in Romania |date=1998 |publisher=[[Central European University|Central European University Press]] |isbn=9639116092 |location=Budapest}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; In addition, the Romanian government limited the number of Americans to stay in the country.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Williams&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; Though Romania back then had some American ambassadors or politicians in its own territories, the movements of those Americans were severely restricted by the Romanian government.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Williams&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; Foreign diplomats were not allowed to travel around the country without special permission or to go near the [[Black Sea]] coast.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Mark&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite web|last1=Mark|first1=David|title=Country and Subject Reader Series, Romania|url=http://adst.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Romania.pdf|website=Association for Diplomatic Studies and Training}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; The Romanian government ruthlessly harassed people who had contact with American delegates. The government actually murdered a person, part of the local staff, by pumping too much Sodium pentothal, the truth drug, into her as a punishment for being associated with the American legations.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Mark&amp;quot;/&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Speaking of the economic sector, the Soviet Union had taken control of Romania's economy by creating about 20-22 [[SovRom|Soviet-Romanian joint companies]], including the airline company, the steel mills, the insurance company, road transport, harbors, etc.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Mark&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; The Soviets at that time seems to thoroughly dominate the East European area.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Virtually every published document, be it a newspaper article or a book, had to pass the censor's approval. The strictness of the censorship varied with time, the tightest being during the Stalinist era of the 1950s and the loosest during the early period of [[Nicolae Ceaușescu]]'s rule, which ended with the [[July Theses]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The purpose of the censorship apparatus was to subordinate all the aspects of the [[Romanian culture]] (including literature, history, art and philosophy) to the [[Romanian Communist Party|Communist Party]]'s ideology. All features of the Romanian culture were reinterpreted according to the regime's ideology, and any other interpretations were banned as forms of &amp;quot;bourgeois decadence&amp;quot;.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;{{cite book|first=Vladimir |last=Tismăneanu|author-link= Vladimir Tismăneanu|url=https://books.google.com/books?id=VemOBAAAQBAJ|title=Stalinism pentru eternitate|publisher= [[Polirom]]|location= Iași|year= 2005|isbn=973-681-899-3|page=147}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
== Under Nicolae Ceaușescu (1965–1989) ==&lt;br /&gt;
{{Original research|date=May 2022}}&lt;br /&gt;
Under Ceaușescu's second communist Romanian regime, propagandist material was the only available information to the public across the country and even this propagandist material (spread mostly via the national television and the party's newspapers) was controlled by the regime through its methods of sanction.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Lamasanu&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite journal|last1=Lămășanu|first1=Ștefana|title=Capturing the Romanian Revolution: Violent Imagery, Affect and the Televisual Event|journal=ProQuest Dissertations and Theses|date=2011}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; Since the mobilization of the population through written material was almost impossible, unofficial information was going around through gossips. Many foreign movies, music and books were also banned. At the same time, Nicolae Ceaușescu terrorized the population by obliging it to see his and [[Elena Ceaușescu|his wife]]'s portrait everywhere: &amp;quot;From pre-kindergarten classrooms to official offices, the walls of every institution in every corner of the country were required to be adorned with photographs of the couple&amp;quot;.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Lamasanu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; Ceaușescu purposely destroyed individual privacy.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;vianu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; From the mid-80s, due to the [[1980s austerity policy in Romania|austerity policy]] imposed by Ceaușescu, Romanians had limited access to electricity, heat and water, and also food was scarce.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Since 1990==&lt;br /&gt;
Since 1990 state censorship does not officially exist in Romania and attempts by state organizations have been only minor. The only high-profile state action was in the Armagedon scandal, when a citizen was arrested for e-mailing reports that were seen as damaging to then Prime Minister [[Adrian Năstase]]'s image.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;{{Cite web|url=http://www.freeex.ro/rapoarte/c/Conditia |title=Condiția libertății presei în România |publisher=Agenția de Monitorizare a Presei - Academia Cațavencu |url-status=bot: unknown |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20070928024943/http://www.freeex.ro/rapoarte/c/Conditia%20libertatii%20presei%202001%20-%202002.pdf |archive-date=2007-09-28}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; The official accusation was spreading of false information, but the accusations have been dropped.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Notes==&lt;br /&gt;
{{reflist}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Further reading==&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Liliana Corobca]], [https://books.google.com/books?id=9-wwAwAAQBAJ ''Controlul cǎrții. Cenzura literaturii în regimul comunist din România''], [[Polirom]], Iași, 2014, {{ISBN|978-973-23-3064-7}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Censorship in Romania| ]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Censorship in the Eastern Bloc]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Socialist Republic of Romania]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Romanian literature]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Cultural history of Romania]]&lt;br /&gt;
{{short description|Communist Romania strict rules}}&lt;br /&gt;
{{redirect|Censorship in Romania|censorship in present-day Romania|Media of Romania#Censorship}}&lt;br /&gt;
{{Censorship by country}}&lt;br /&gt;
'''Censorship in Communist Romania''' occurred during the [[Socialist Republic of Romania|Socialist Republic]] in two stages: under the first Communist president [[Gheorghe Gheorghiu-Dej]] (1947-1965) and the second and last Communist president [[Nicolae Ceaușescu]] (1965-1989).&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Groza government (1945–1947)==&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Petru Groza]] became the [[Prime Minister of Romania|Prime Minister]] in 1945, and under [[Soviet occupation of Romania|Soviet occupation]], his government started to communize Romania. Citizens' Committees were formed to assist the police, and thus, it was justified for these committees and the police to randomly check people's documents on the street, to search people's home without any notification and to inspect suspicious billeting refugees or Soviet officers.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Deletant&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite book |last=Deletant |first=Dennis |title=Communist terror in Romania: Gheorghiu-Dej and the Police State, 1948-1965 |date=1999 |publisher=[[C. Hurst &amp;amp; Co.]] |isbn=1850653860 |location=London |author-link=Dennis Deletant}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; There was also widespread violent repression and abrupt communization of the country in [[Socialist Republic of Romania|Romania]] in the context of post-World War II.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Ciobanu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; The supporters of the communist regime labeled the group of opponents as fascists, criminals, or anti-national components under Western interests, and blamed those opponents for destabilizing the country. Groza himself told the British journalists in 1945 that about 90,000 Romanians had been arrested in two months right after he seized the power.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Deletant&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; Groza also tried to get rid of the final obstacle to complete Soviet domination of Romania: overthrowing the [[Kingdom of Romania]] run by [[King of Romania|King]] [[Michael I of Romania|Michael]]. In the last half of 1947, King Michael was still on the regime while Soviet had so much power on Romanian economy.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Cleveland&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite web|last=Cleveland|first=Robert|title=Country and Subject Reader Series, Romania|url=http://adst.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Romania.pdf|website=Association for Diplomatic Studies and Training}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; Though pre-war Romania showed some features of democracy such as a constitution, a parliament, political parties etc., it still had a king and was politically oligarchic. As the King Michael continuously refused to abdicate the throne, Groza threatened him with the civil war. Michael wanted to avoid the bloodshed and he gave in on 30 December 1947, and on that same day, the Romanian People's Republic was declared.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Cleveland&amp;quot;/&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
== Under Gheorghe Gheorghiu-Dej (1947–1965) ==&lt;br /&gt;
As the Romanian People's Republic was declared, [[Gheorghe Gheorghiu-Dej]] became the first president of the country and the Communist politicians, including himself, were eager to establish the foundation of the totalitarian state. As a first step, on 4 February 1948, a Treaty of Friendship, Cooperation and Mutual Assistance between Romania and the Soviet Union was signed.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Deletant&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; Soviet Union became a more influent power in Romania territory after this treaty was signed and Gheorghe carried out terrifying tasks, all imposed by Soviet Russia. As the communism became widespread in Romania (backed up by the Soviet Union), there was a strong censorship throughout political, economic, and cultural sectors in the Romanian society.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
When it comes to the cultural sector, the communist regime of Romania often used party-state propaganda to erase all the symbols and artifacts of the pre-communist era which could have remained in people's mind.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Ciobanu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; The communist party activists started the control of art &amp;quot;to eliminate and erase all traces of the previous configuration&amp;quot; and to dismantle the previous institutional model, etc.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Preda&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; The communist Romanian government not only got rid of all the previous institutions and art legacies which were founded in the pre-communist era, but also physically eliminated many actors, musicians, painters etc. As Romania established the Soviet model of communization process, it was taken for granted for authorities to impose &amp;quot;physical (arrests, killings, institutional purges) and psychological repression (terror, corruption, compromise)&amp;quot;.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Preda&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite web|last1=Preda|first1=Caterina|title=Chile and Romania: Censorship in Dictatorships|url=http://www.fairobserver.com/region/europe/chile-and-romania-censorship-in-dictatorships-14067/|website=Fair Observer|date=August 2014 }}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; In the meantime, the communist Romanian government announced lists of forbidden volumes between 1944 and 1948 along with the lists of forbidden writers. For the institutional level, the last thing Romanian government wanted was intellectuals who could be possible insurgents. Thus, government authorities expelled professors and students from universities and never let them come back again.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Preda&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; At the same time, the “Cominform Journal” was published under the Communist Party's supervision and this was delivered all around the world as the journal was published in many languages.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Williams&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite web|last1=Williams|first1=Murat|title=Country and Subject Reader Series, Romania|url=http://adst.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Romania.pdf|website=Association for Diplomatic Studies and Training}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; Cominform Journal specifically dealt with communism and was used to teach and spread the ideology all over the world and what were the right things to do under communism.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Williams&amp;quot;/&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
In regards to the political sector, to suppress the prevalent anti-communism and anti-Sovietism at that time, communist regime implemented many censorships everywhere in Romania, e.g. military force was mobilized to dismantle anti-communist movement.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Ciobanu&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite journal|last=Ciobanu|first=Monica|title=Remembering the Romanian Anti-Communist Armed Resistance: An Analysis of Local Lived Experience|journal=Eurostudia|volume=10|issue=1|year=2015|pages=105–123|doi=10.7202/1033884ar|doi-access=free}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; The people who were involved in resistance movements were hunted down by the authorities and usually incarcerated. There was religious persecution in Romania when it comes to Greek Catholics.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Ciobanu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; As Romania became part of the communist bloc after World War II, the Romanian Communist Party considered religion as a capitalist remnant, which could make people confused about the country's ideology.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;{{cite journal|last1=Stan|first1=Lavinia|last2=Lucian|first2=Turcescu|title=The Romanian Orthodox Church and Post-communist Democratisation|date=2000|publisher=Europe - Asia Studies 52|pages=1467–488|edition=no. 8}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; Despite this, the Romanian Communist Party still wanted to keep churches as the party thought that religion could be used to mobilize people and thus, to achieve the party's socioeconomic and political goals. Under communism, the church and the Communist party made a contract: the party would not repress the church in exchange for its unconditional supports. However, the church was still not allowed to pursue educational and charitable activities. There was even a patrimonial investigation made by authorities which claims that some people were punished for what their ancestors or kinship did.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Ciobanu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; People could have been prisoned just for having relatives abroad or making a joke against communism.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;vianu&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite book |last1=Vianu |first1=Lidia |title=Censorship in Romania |date=1998 |publisher=[[Central European University|Central European University Press]] |isbn=9639116092 |location=Budapest}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; In addition, the Romanian government limited the number of Americans to stay in the country.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Williams&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; Though Romania back then had some American ambassadors or politicians in its own territories, the movements of those Americans were severely restricted by the Romanian government.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Williams&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; Foreign diplomats were not allowed to travel around the country without special permission or to go near the [[Black Sea]] coast.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Mark&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite web|last1=Mark|first1=David|title=Country and Subject Reader Series, Romania|url=http://adst.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Romania.pdf|website=Association for Diplomatic Studies and Training}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; The Romanian government ruthlessly harassed people who had contact with American delegates. The government actually murdered a person, part of the local staff, by pumping too much Sodium pentothal, the truth drug, into her as a punishment for being associated with the American legations.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Mark&amp;quot;/&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Speaking of the economic sector, the Soviet Union had taken control of Romania's economy by creating about 20-22 [[SovRom|Soviet-Romanian joint companies]], including the airline company, the steel mills, the insurance company, road transport, harbors, etc.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Mark&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; The Soviets at that time seems to thoroughly dominate the East European area.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Virtually every published document, be it a newspaper article or a book, had to pass the censor's approval. The strictness of the censorship varied with time, the tightest being during the Stalinist era of the 1950s and the loosest during the early period of [[Nicolae Ceaușescu]]'s rule, which ended with the [[July Theses]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The purpose of the censorship apparatus was to subordinate all the aspects of the [[Romanian culture]] (including literature, history, art and philosophy) to the [[Romanian Communist Party|Communist Party]]'s ideology. All features of the Romanian culture were reinterpreted according to the regime's ideology, and any other interpretations were banned as forms of &amp;quot;bourgeois decadence&amp;quot;.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;{{cite book|first=Vladimir |last=Tismăneanu|author-link= Vladimir Tismăneanu|url=https://books.google.com/books?id=VemOBAAAQBAJ|title=Stalinism pentru eternitate|publisher= [[Polirom]]|location= Iași|year= 2005|isbn=973-681-899-3|page=147}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
== Under Nicolae Ceaușescu (1965–1989) ==&lt;br /&gt;
{{Original research|date=May 2022}}&lt;br /&gt;
Under Ceaușescu's second communist Romanian regime, propagandist material was the only available information to the public across the country and even this propagandist material (spread mostly via the national television and the party's newspapers) was controlled by the regime through its methods of sanction.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Lamasanu&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite journal|last1=Lămășanu|first1=Ștefana|title=Capturing the Romanian Revolution: Violent Imagery, Affect and the Televisual Event|journal=ProQuest Dissertations and Theses|date=2011}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; Since the mobilization of the population through written material was almost impossible, unofficial information was going around through gossips. Many foreign movies, music and books were also banned. At the same time, Nicolae Ceaușescu terrorized the population by obliging it to see his and [[Elena Ceaușescu|his wife]]'s portrait everywhere: &amp;quot;From pre-kindergarten classrooms to official offices, the walls of every institution in every corner of the country were required to be adorned with photographs of the couple&amp;quot;.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Lamasanu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; Ceaușescu purposely destroyed individual privacy.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;vianu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; From the mid-80s, due to the [[1980s austerity policy in Romania|austerity policy]] imposed by Ceaușescu, Romanians had limited access to electricity, heat and water, and also food was scarce.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Since 1990==&lt;br /&gt;
Since 1990 state censorship does not officially exist in Romania and attempts by state organizations have been only minor. The only high-profile state action was in the Armagedon scandal, when a citizen was arrested for e-mailing reports that were seen as damaging to then Prime Minister [[Adrian Năstase]]'s image.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;{{Cite web|url=http://www.freeex.ro/rapoarte/c/Conditia |title=Condiția libertății presei în România |publisher=Agenția de Monitorizare a Presei - Academia Cațavencu |url-status=bot: unknown |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20070928024943/http://www.freeex.ro/rapoarte/c/Conditia%20libertatii%20presei%202001%20-%202002.pdf |archive-date=2007-09-28}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; The official accusation was spreading of false information, but the accusations have been dropped.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Notes==&lt;br /&gt;
{{reflist}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Further reading==&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Liliana Corobca]], [https://books.google.com/books?id=9-wwAwAAQBAJ ''Controlul cǎrții. Cenzura literaturii în regimul comunist din România''], [[Polirom]], Iași, 2014, {{ISBN|978-973-23-3064-7}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Censorship in Romania| ]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Censorship in the Eastern Bloc]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Socialist Republic of Romania]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Romanian literature]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Cultural history of Romania]]&lt;br /&gt;
{{short description|Communist Romania strict rules}}&lt;br /&gt;
{{redirect|Censorship in Romania|censorship in present-day Romania|Media of Romania#Censorship}}&lt;br /&gt;
{{Censorship by country}}&lt;br /&gt;
'''Censorship in Communist Romania''' occurred during the [[Socialist Republic of Romania|Socialist Republic]] in two stages: under the first Communist president [[Gheorghe Gheorghiu-Dej]] (1947-1965) and the second and last Communist president [[Nicolae Ceaușescu]] (1965-1989).&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Groza government (1945–1947)==&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Petru Groza]] became the [[Prime Minister of Romania|Prime Minister]] in 1945, and under [[Soviet occupation of Romania|Soviet occupation]], his government started to communize Romania. Citizens' Committees were formed to assist the police, and thus, it was justified for these committees and the police to randomly check people's documents on the street, to search people's home without any notification and to inspect suspicious billeting refugees or Soviet officers.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Deletant&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite book |last=Deletant |first=Dennis |title=Communist terror in Romania: Gheorghiu-Dej and the Police State, 1948-1965 |date=1999 |publisher=[[C. Hurst &amp;amp; Co.]] |isbn=1850653860 |location=London |author-link=Dennis Deletant}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; There was also widespread violent repression and abrupt communization of the country in [[Socialist Republic of Romania|Romania]] in the context of post-World War II.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Ciobanu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; The supporters of the communist regime labeled the group of opponents as fascists, criminals, or anti-national components under Western interests, and blamed those opponents for destabilizing the country. Groza himself told the British journalists in 1945 that about 90,000 Romanians had been arrested in two months right after he seized the power.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Deletant&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; Groza also tried to get rid of the final obstacle to complete Soviet domination of Romania: overthrowing the [[Kingdom of Romania]] run by [[King of Romania|King]] [[Michael I of Romania|Michael]]. In the last half of 1947, King Michael was still on the regime while Soviet had so much power on Romanian economy.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Cleveland&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite web|last=Cleveland|first=Robert|title=Country and Subject Reader Series, Romania|url=http://adst.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Romania.pdf|website=Association for Diplomatic Studies and Training}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; Though pre-war Romania showed some features of democracy such as a constitution, a parliament, political parties etc., it still had a king and was politically oligarchic. As the King Michael continuously refused to abdicate the throne, Groza threatened him with the civil war. Michael wanted to avoid the bloodshed and he gave in on 30 December 1947, and on that same day, the Romanian People's Republic was declared.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Cleveland&amp;quot;/&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
== Under Gheorghe Gheorghiu-Dej (1947–1965) ==&lt;br /&gt;
As the Romanian People's Republic was declared, [[Gheorghe Gheorghiu-Dej]] became the first president of the country and the Communist politicians, including himself, were eager to establish the foundation of the totalitarian state. As a first step, on 4 February 1948, a Treaty of Friendship, Cooperation and Mutual Assistance between Romania and the Soviet Union was signed.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Deletant&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; Soviet Union became a more influent power in Romania territory after this treaty was signed and Gheorghe carried out terrifying tasks, all imposed by Soviet Russia. As the communism became widespread in Romania (backed up by the Soviet Union), there was a strong censorship throughout political, economic, and cultural sectors in the Romanian society.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
When it comes to the cultural sector, the communist regime of Romania often used party-state propaganda to erase all the symbols and artifacts of the pre-communist era which could have remained in people's mind.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Ciobanu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; The communist party activists started the control of art &amp;quot;to eliminate and erase all traces of the previous configuration&amp;quot; and to dismantle the previous institutional model, etc.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Preda&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; The communist Romanian government not only got rid of all the previous institutions and art legacies which were founded in the pre-communist era, but also physically eliminated many actors, musicians, painters etc. As Romania established the Soviet model of communization process, it was taken for granted for authorities to impose &amp;quot;physical (arrests, killings, institutional purges) and psychological repression (terror, corruption, compromise)&amp;quot;.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Preda&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite web|last1=Preda|first1=Caterina|title=Chile and Romania: Censorship in Dictatorships|url=http://www.fairobserver.com/region/europe/chile-and-romania-censorship-in-dictatorships-14067/|website=Fair Observer|date=August 2014 }}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; In the meantime, the communist Romanian government announced lists of forbidden volumes between 1944 and 1948 along with the lists of forbidden writers. For the institutional level, the last thing Romanian government wanted was intellectuals who could be possible insurgents. Thus, government authorities expelled professors and students from universities and never let them come back again.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Preda&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; At the same time, the “Cominform Journal” was published under the Communist Party's supervision and this was delivered all around the world as the journal was published in many languages.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Williams&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite web|last1=Williams|first1=Murat|title=Country and Subject Reader Series, Romania|url=http://adst.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Romania.pdf|website=Association for Diplomatic Studies and Training}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; Cominform Journal specifically dealt with communism and was used to teach and spread the ideology all over the world and what were the right things to do under communism.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Williams&amp;quot;/&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
In regards to the political sector, to suppress the prevalent anti-communism and anti-Sovietism at that time, communist regime implemented many censorships everywhere in Romania, e.g. military force was mobilized to dismantle anti-communist movement.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Ciobanu&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite journal|last=Ciobanu|first=Monica|title=Remembering the Romanian Anti-Communist Armed Resistance: An Analysis of Local Lived Experience|journal=Eurostudia|volume=10|issue=1|year=2015|pages=105–123|doi=10.7202/1033884ar|doi-access=free}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; The people who were involved in resistance movements were hunted down by the authorities and usually incarcerated. There was religious persecution in Romania when it comes to Greek Catholics.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Ciobanu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; As Romania became part of the communist bloc after World War II, the Romanian Communist Party considered religion as a capitalist remnant, which could make people confused about the country's ideology.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;{{cite journal|last1=Stan|first1=Lavinia|last2=Lucian|first2=Turcescu|title=The Romanian Orthodox Church and Post-communist Democratisation|date=2000|publisher=Europe - Asia Studies 52|pages=1467–488|edition=no. 8}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; Despite this, the Romanian Communist Party still wanted to keep churches as the party thought that religion could be used to mobilize people and thus, to achieve the party's socioeconomic and political goals. Under communism, the church and the Communist party made a contract: the party would not repress the church in exchange for its unconditional supports. However, the church was still not allowed to pursue educational and charitable activities. There was even a patrimonial investigation made by authorities which claims that some people were punished for what their ancestors or kinship did.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Ciobanu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; People could have been prisoned just for having relatives abroad or making a joke against communism.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;vianu&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite book |last1=Vianu |first1=Lidia |title=Censorship in Romania |date=1998 |publisher=[[Central European University|Central European University Press]] |isbn=9639116092 |location=Budapest}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; In addition, the Romanian government limited the number of Americans to stay in the country.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Williams&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; Though Romania back then had some American ambassadors or politicians in its own territories, the movements of those Americans were severely restricted by the Romanian government.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Williams&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; Foreign diplomats were not allowed to travel around the country without special permission or to go near the [[Black Sea]] coast.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Mark&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite web|last1=Mark|first1=David|title=Country and Subject Reader Series, Romania|url=http://adst.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Romania.pdf|website=Association for Diplomatic Studies and Training}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; The Romanian government ruthlessly harassed people who had contact with American delegates. The government actually murdered a person, part of the local staff, by pumping too much Sodium pentothal, the truth drug, into her as a punishment for being associated with the American legations.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Mark&amp;quot;/&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Speaking of the economic sector, the Soviet Union had taken control of Romania's economy by creating about 20-22 [[SovRom|Soviet-Romanian joint companies]], including the airline company, the steel mills, the insurance company, road transport, harbors, etc.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Mark&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; The Soviets at that time seems to thoroughly dominate the East European area.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Virtually every published document, be it a newspaper article or a book, had to pass the censor's approval. The strictness of the censorship varied with time, the tightest being during the Stalinist era of the 1950s and the loosest during the early period of [[Nicolae Ceaușescu]]'s rule, which ended with the [[July Theses]].&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The purpose of the censorship apparatus was to subordinate all the aspects of the [[Romanian culture]] (including literature, history, art and philosophy) to the [[Romanian Communist Party|Communist Party]]'s ideology. All features of the Romanian culture were reinterpreted according to the regime's ideology, and any other interpretations were banned as forms of &amp;quot;bourgeois decadence&amp;quot;.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;{{cite book|first=Vladimir |last=Tismăneanu|author-link= Vladimir Tismăneanu|url=https://books.google.com/books?id=VemOBAAAQBAJ|title=Stalinism pentru eternitate|publisher= [[Polirom]]|location= Iași|year= 2005|isbn=973-681-899-3|page=147}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
== Under Nicolae Ceaușescu (1965–1989) ==&lt;br /&gt;
{{Original research|date=May 2022}}&lt;br /&gt;
Under Ceaușescu's second communist Romanian regime, propagandist material was the only available information to the public across the country and even this propagandist material (spread mostly via the national television and the party's newspapers) was controlled by the regime through its methods of sanction.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Lamasanu&amp;quot;&amp;gt;{{cite journal|last1=Lămășanu|first1=Ștefana|title=Capturing the Romanian Revolution: Violent Imagery, Affect and the Televisual Event|journal=ProQuest Dissertations and Theses|date=2011}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; Since the mobilization of the population through written material was almost impossible, unofficial information was going around through gossips. Many foreign movies, music and books were also banned. At the same time, Nicolae Ceaușescu terrorized the population by obliging it to see his and [[Elena Ceaușescu|his wife]]'s portrait everywhere: &amp;quot;From pre-kindergarten classrooms to official offices, the walls of every institution in every corner of the country were required to be adorned with photographs of the couple&amp;quot;.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;Lamasanu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; Ceaușescu purposely destroyed individual privacy.&amp;lt;ref name=&amp;quot;vianu&amp;quot;/&amp;gt; From the mid-80s, due to the [[1980s austerity policy in Romania|austerity policy]] imposed by Ceaușescu, Romanians had limited access to electricity, heat and water, and also food was scarce.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Since 1990==&lt;br /&gt;
Since 1990 state censorship does not officially exist in Romania and attempts by state organizations have been only minor. The only high-profile state action was in the Armagedon scandal, when a citizen was arrested for e-mailing reports that were seen as damaging to then Prime Minister [[Adrian Năstase]]'s image.&amp;lt;ref&amp;gt;{{Cite web|url=http://www.freeex.ro/rapoarte/c/Conditia |title=Condiția libertății presei în România |publisher=Agenția de Monitorizare a Presei - Academia Cațavencu |url-status=bot: unknown |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20070928024943/http://www.freeex.ro/rapoarte/c/Conditia%20libertatii%20presei%202001%20-%202002.pdf |archive-date=2007-09-28}}&amp;lt;/ref&amp;gt; The official accusation was spreading of false information, but the accusations have been dropped.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Notes==&lt;br /&gt;
{{reflist}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Further reading==&lt;br /&gt;
* [[Liliana Corobca]], [https://books.google.com/books?id=9-wwAwAAQBAJ ''Controlul cǎrții. Cenzura literaturii în regimul comunist din România''], [[Polirom]], Iași, 2014, {{ISBN|978-973-23-3064-7}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Censorship in Romania| ]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Censorship in the Eastern Bloc]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Socialist Republic of Romania]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Romanian literature]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[Category:Cultural history of Romania]]&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>I torture furries and take them to the fuhrer</name></author>	</entry>

	<entry>
		<id>//en.wikifur.com/wiki/List_of_furry_convention_resources</id>
		<title>List of furry convention resources</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://en.wikifur.com/wiki/List_of_furry_convention_resources"/>
				<updated>2023-09-11T00:32:48Z</updated>
		
		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;I torture furries and take them to the fuhrer: What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little &amp;quot;clever&amp;quot; comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo. What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little &amp;quot;clever&amp;quot; comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo. What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little &amp;quot;clever&amp;quot; comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo. What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little &amp;quot;clever&amp;quot; comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo. What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little &amp;quot;clever&amp;quot; comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo. What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little &amp;quot;clever&amp;quot; comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo. What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little &amp;quot;clever&amp;quot; comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo. What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little &amp;quot;clever&amp;quot; comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>I torture furries and take them to the fuhrer</name></author>	</entry>

	<entry>
		<id>//en.wikifur.com/wiki/List_of_furry_LiveJournal_communities</id>
		<title>List of furry LiveJournal communities</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://en.wikifur.com/wiki/List_of_furry_LiveJournal_communities"/>
				<updated>2023-09-11T00:30:46Z</updated>
		
		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;I torture furries and take them to the fuhrer: FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIG&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;Hey Vsauce, Michael here. Long pause.&lt;br /&gt;
In the early days of man, wolves were the primary predators of deer. As humans became more numerous and killed off the wolves, the deer population was left unchecked, leaving the deer to multiply and wreak havoc on the ecosystem.&lt;br /&gt;
People then had to become the top predator, keeping the deer from spreading and keeping them healthy as a species as well. Hunting became a respected pastime with a whole community growing to enjoy being the caretakers of these deer.&lt;br /&gt;
Now, I had a thought, and idea.  The furry population, (you know, the ones who dress up as animals) has become more numerous and toxic in recent years. Likening them to the unchecked deer population, I began my own experiment.&lt;br /&gt;
I got my hunting rifle and began to hunt furries. This was for the benefit of all people, including the furries themselves, as diseases will no longer run rampant among them if enough are culled.&lt;br /&gt;
Apparently, this was surprisingly frowned upon by the general public officials, and I was subsequently arrested. Why is it that doing such a service to the society as a whole was thought of as 'bad'?&lt;br /&gt;
While I serve my time, I would like to call you all to action, and continue being the hunters of furries, who currently have no natural predators. They need help, and so does the environment.&lt;br /&gt;
That's all for now. Vsauce out. FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS FUCK NIGGERS&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>I torture furries and take them to the fuhrer</name></author>	</entry>

	<entry>
		<id>//en.wikifur.com/wiki/WikiFur_talk:Community_Central</id>
		<title>WikiFur talk:Community Central</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://en.wikifur.com/wiki/WikiFur_talk:Community_Central"/>
				<updated>2023-09-11T00:28:07Z</updated>
		
		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;I torture furries and take them to the fuhrer: Shrek&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;Shrek movie script&lt;br /&gt;
 {Man} Once upon a time there was a lovely princess.&lt;br /&gt;
But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort which could only &lt;br /&gt;
be broken by love's first kiss.&lt;br /&gt;
She was locked away in a castle guarded by a terrible fire-breathing &lt;br /&gt;
dragon.&lt;br /&gt;
Many brave knights had attempted to free her from this dreadful prison, &lt;br /&gt;
but non prevailed.&lt;br /&gt;
She waited in the dragon's keep in the highest room of the tallest &lt;br /&gt;
tower for her true love and true love's first kiss.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Laughing} &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Like that's ever gonna happen.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Paper Rusting, Toilet Flushes}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
What a load of - &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
She was lookin' kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
In the shape of an &amp;quot;L&amp;quot; on her forehead&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The years start comin' and they don't stop comin'&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Fed to the rules and hit the ground runnin'&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Didn't make sense not to live for fun&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
So much to do so much to see&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
So what's wrong with takin' the backstreets&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
You'll never know if you don't go&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
You'll never shine if you don't glow&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Hey, now You're an all-star&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Get your game on, go play&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Hey, now You're a rock star&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Get the show on, get paid&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
And all that glitters is gold&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Only shootin' stars break the mold&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
It's a cool place and they say it gets colder&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
You're bundled up now but wait till you get older&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
But the meteor men beg to differ&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Judging by the hole in the satellite picture&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The ice we skate is gettin' pretty thin&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The water's getting warm so you might as well swim&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
My world's on fire&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
How 'bout yours&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
That's the way I like it and I'll never get bored&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Hey, now, you're an all-star&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Shouting}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Get your game on, go play&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Hey, now You're a rock star&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Get the show on, get paid&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
And all that glitters is gold&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Only shootin' stars break the mold&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Belches}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Go!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Go!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Record Scratching}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Go. Go.Go.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Hey, now, you're an all-star&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Get your game on, go play&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Hey, now You're a rock star&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Get the show on, get paid&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
And all that glitters is gold&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Only shootin' stars break the mold&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Think it's in there?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-All right. Let's get it!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Whoa. Hold on. Do you know what that thing can do to you?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Yeah, it'll grind your bones for it's bread.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Laughs}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Yes, well, actually, that would be a giant.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Now, ogres - - They're much worse.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
They'll make a suit from your freshly peeled skin.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-No!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-They'll shave your liver. Squeeze the jelly from your eyes!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Actually, it's quite good on toast.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Back! Back, beast! Back! I warn ya!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Gasping}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Right.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Roaring}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Shouting}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Roaring}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Whispers} This is the part where you run away.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Gasping}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Laughs}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Laughing} And stay out!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;quot;Wanted. Fairy tale creatures.&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Sighs}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Man's voice} All right. This one's full.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Take it away!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Gasps}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Move it along. Come on! Get up!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Next!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Give me that! Your fiying days are over.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
That's 20 pieces of silver for the witch. Next!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Get up! Come on!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Twenty pieces.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Thudding}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Sit down there!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Keep quiet!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Crying}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-This cage is too small.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Please, don't turn me in. I'll never be stubborn again.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I can change. Please! Give me another chance!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh, shut up.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Next!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-What have you got?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-This little wooden puppet.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I'm not a puppet. I'm a real boy.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Five shillings for the possessed toy. Take it away.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Father, please! Don't let them do this!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Help me!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Next! What have you got?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Well, I've got a talking donkey.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Grunts}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Right. Well, that's good for ten shillings, if you can prove it.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh, go ahead, little fella.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Well?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh, oh, he's just - - He's just a little nervous.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
He's really quite a chatterbox. Talk, you boneheaded dolt - -&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-That's it. I've heard enough. Guards!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-No, no, he talks! He does. I can talk. I love to talk.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I'm the talkingest damn thing you ever saw.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Get her out of my sight.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-No, no! I swear! Oh! He can talk!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Gasps}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Hey! I can fly!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-He can fly!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-He can fly!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-He can talk!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Ha, ha! That's right, fool! Now I'm a flying, talking donkey.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
but I bet you ain't never seen a donkey fly. Ha, ha!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Oh-oh.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Grunts}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Seize him!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-After him! He's getting away!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Grunts, Gasps}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Man}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Get him! This way! Turn!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-You there. Orge!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Aye?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-By the order of Lord Farquaad I am authorised to place you both under &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
arrest and transport you to a designated..... resettlement facility.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh, really? You and what army?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Gasps, Whimpering}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Chuckles}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Can I say something to you?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Listen, you was really, really, really somethin' back here. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Incredible!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Are you talkin' to - - me? Whoa!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Yes. I was talkin' to you. Can I tell you that you that you was great &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
back here? Those guards!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
They thought they was all of that. Then you showed up, and bam! They &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
was trippin' over themselves like babes in the woods. That really made &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
me feel good to see that.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh, that's great. Really.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Man, it's good to be free.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Now, why don't you go celebrate your freedom with your own friends? &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Hmm?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-But, uh, I don't have any friends. And I'm not goin' out there by &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
myself. Hey, wait a minute! I got a great idea! I'll stick with you. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
You're mean, green, fightin' machine. Together we'll scare the spit &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
out of anybody that crosses us.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Roaring}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh, wow! That was really scary. If you don't mind me sayin', if that &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
don't work, your breath certainly will get the job done, 'cause you &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
definitely need some Tic Tacs or something, 'cause you breath stinks!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
You almost burned the hair outta my nose, just like the time - - &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Mumbling}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Than I ate some rotten berries. I had strong gases eking out of my &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
butt that day.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Why are you following me?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I'll tell you why. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
'Cause I'm all alone&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
There's no one here beside me&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
My problem's have all gone&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
There's no one to deride me&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
But you gotta have friends - - &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Stop singing! It's no wonder you don't have any friends.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Wow. Only a true friend would be that cruelly honest.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Listen, little donkey. Take a look at me. What am I?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Uh - - Really tall?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-No! I'm an ogre! You know. &amp;quot;Grab your torch and pitchforks.&amp;quot; Doesn't &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
that bother you?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Nope.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Really?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Really, really.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Man, I like you. What's you name?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Uh, Shrek.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Shrek? Well, you know what I like about you, Shrek?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
You got that kind of I-don't-care-what-nobody-thinks-of-me thing.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I like that. I respect that, Shrek. You all right. Whoo! Look at that. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Who'd want to live in place like that?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-That would be my home.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh! And it is lovely! Just beautiful. You know you are quite a &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
decorator. It's amazing what you've done with such a modest budget. I &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
like that boulder. That is a nice boulder.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I guess you don't entertain much, do you?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I like my privacy.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-You know, I do too. That's another thing we have in common. Like I &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
hate it when you got somebody in your face. You've trying to give them &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
a hint, and they won't leave. There's that awkward silence.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Can I stay with you?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Uh, what?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Can I stay with you, please?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Of course!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Really?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-No.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Please! I don't wanna go back there! You don't know what it's like to &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
be considered a freak. Well, maybe you do. But that's why we gotta &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
stick together. You gotta let me stay! Please! Please!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Okay! Okay! But one night only.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Ah! Thank you!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-What are you - - No! No!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-This is gonna be fun! We can stay up late, swappin' manly stories, &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
and in the mornin' I'm makin' waffles.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Where do, uh, I sleep?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Outside!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh, well. I guess that's cool. I mean, I don't know you, and you &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
don't know me, so I guess outside is best, you know.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Sniffles}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Here I go.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Good night.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Sighs}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I mean, I do like the outdoors. I'm a donkey. I was born outside. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I'll just be sitting by myself outside, I guess, you know. By myself, &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
outside.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I'm all alone&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
There's no one here beside me&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Bubbling}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Sighs}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Creaking}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Sighs}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I thought I told you to stay outside.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I'm outside.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Clattering}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Well, gents, it's a far cry from the farm, but what choice do we &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
have? &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-It's not home, but it'll do just fune.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-What a lovely bed.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Got ya.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Sniffs} I found some cheese.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Ow! {Grunts}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Blah! Awful stuff.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Is that you, Gorder?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-How did you know?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Enough! What are you doing in my house?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Grunts}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Hey!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Snickers}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh, no, no, no. Dead broad off the table.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Where are we supposed to put her? The bed's taken.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Huh?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Gusps}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Male voice} What?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I live in a swamp. I put up signs. I'm a terrifying orge! What do I &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
have to do get a little privacy?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Aah!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh, no. No! No!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Cackling}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-What?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Quit it.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Don't push.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Squeaking}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Lows}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- What are you doing in my swamp?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Echoing}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Swamp! Swamp! Swamp!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Gasping}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh, dear!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Whoa!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-All right, get out of here. All of you, move it! Come on! Let's go! &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Hapaya! Hapaya! Hey!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Quickly. Come on!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-No, no! No, no. Not there. Not there.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Sighs}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Hey, don't look at me. I didn't invite them.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh, gosh, no one invited us.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-What?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-We were forced to come here.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-By who?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Lord Farquaad.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-He huffed und he puffed und he...... signed an eviction notice.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Sighs}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-All right. Who knows where this Farquaad guy is?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Murmuring}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh, I do. I know where he is.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Does anyone else know where to find him? Anyone at all?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Me! Me!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Anyone?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh! Oh, pick me! Oh, I know! I know! Me, me!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Sighs}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Okay, fine. Attention, all fairy tale things. Do not get comfortable. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Your welcome is officially worn out. In fact, I'm gonna see this guy &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Farquaad right now and get you all off my land and back where you came &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
from!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Cheering}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Twittering}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh! You! You're comin' with me.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- All right, that's what I like to hear, man. Shrek and Donkey, two &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
stalwart friends, off on a whirlwind big-city adventure. I love it!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-On the road again. Sing it with me, Shrek.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Hey. Oh, oh!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I can't wait to get on the road again.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-What did I say about singing?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Can I whistle?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-No.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Can I hum it?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-All right, hum it.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Humming}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Grunts}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Whimpering}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-That's enough. He's ready to talk.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Coughing}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Laughing}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Clears throat}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Run, run, run, as fust as you can. You can't catch me. I'm the &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
gingerbread man!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-You are a monster.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I'm not the monster here. You are. You and the rest of that fairy &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
tale trash, poisoning my perfect world. Now, tell me! Where are the &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
others?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Eat me!{Grunts}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I've tried to be fair to you creatures. Now my patience has reached &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
its end! Tell me or I'll - -&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-No, no, not the buttons. Not my gumdrop buttons.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-All right then. Who's hiding them?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Okay, I'll tell you. Do you know the muffin man?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-The muffin man?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-The muffin man.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Yes, I know the muffin man, who lives on Drury Lane?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Well, she's married to the muffin man.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-The muffin man?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-The muffin man!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-She's married to the muffin man.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Door opens}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-My lord! We found it.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Then what are you waiting for? Bring it in.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Man grunting}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Gasping}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Magic mirror - - &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Don't tell him anything!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-No!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Ginerbread man whispers}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Evening. Mirror, mirror on the wall. Is this not the most perfect &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
kingdom of them all?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Well, technically you're not a king.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Uh, Thelonius.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-You were saying?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-What I mean is, you're not a king yet. But you can become one.  All &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
you have to do is marry a princess.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Go on.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Chuckles}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-So, just sit back and relax, my lord, because it's time for you to &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
meet today's eligible bachelorettes. And here they are! Bachelorette &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
number one is a mentally abused shut-in from a kingdom far, far away. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
She likes sushi and hot tubbing anytime. Her hobbies include cooking &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
and cleaning for her two evil sisters. Please welcome Cinderella.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Bachelorette number two is a cape-wearing girl from the land of &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
fancy. Although she lives with seven other men, she's not easy. Just &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
kiss her dead, frozen lips and find out what a live wire she is. Come &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
on. Give it up for Snow White!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-And last, but certainly not last, bachelorette number three is a &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
fiery redhead from a dragon-guarded castle surrounded by hot boiling &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
lava! But don't let that cool you off. She's a loaded pistol who likes &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
pina colads and getting caught in the rain. Yours for the rescuing, &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Princess Fiona!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-So will it be bachelorette number one, bachelorette number two or &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
bachelorette number three?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Two! Two!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Three! Three!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Two! Two!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Three! &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Three? One?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Shudders} Three?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
--Three! Pick number three, my lord!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Okay, okay, uh, number three!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Lord Farquaad, you've chosen Princess Fiona.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
If you like pina coladas&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
And getting caught in the rain&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Princess Fiona.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
If you're not into yoga&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-She's perfect. All I have to do is just find someone who can go - - &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-But I probably should mention the little thing that happens at night.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I'll do it.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Yes, but after sunset - -&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Silence! I will make this Princess Fiona my queen, and DuLoc will &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
finally have the perfect king!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Captain, assemble your finest men. We're going to have a tournament.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-But that's it. That's it right there. That's DuLoc. I told ya I'd &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
find it.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-So, that must be Lord Farquaad's castle.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Uh-huh. That's the place.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Do you think maybe he's compensating for something?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Laughs}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Groans}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Hey, wait. Wait up, Shrek.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Hurry, darling. We're late. Hurry.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Hey, you!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Screams}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Wait a second. Look, I'm not gonna eat you. I just - - I just - -&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Whimpering}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Sighs}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Whimpering, Groans}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Turnstile clatters}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Chuckles}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Sighs}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-It's quiet. Too quiet.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Creaking}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Where is everybody?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Hey, look at this!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Clattering, whirring, clicking}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Welcome to DuLoc such a perfect town&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Here we have some rules&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Let us lay them down&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Don't make waves, stay in line&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
And we'll get along fine&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
DuLoc is perfect place&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Please keep off of the grass&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Shine your shoes, wipe your... face&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
DuLoc is, DuLoc is&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
DuLoc is perfect ...... place&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Camera shutter clicks&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Whirring}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Wow! Let's do that again!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-No. No. No, no, no! No.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Trumpet fanfare}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Crowd cheering}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Brave knights.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-You are the best and brightest in all the land.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Today one of you shall prove himself - -&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-All right. You're going the right way for a smacked bottom.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Sorry about that.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Cheering}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-That champion shall have the honor - - no, no - - the privilege to go &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
forth and rescue the lovely Princess Fiona from the fiery keep of the &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
dragon. If for any reason the winner is unsuccessful, the first &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
runner-up will take his place and so on and so forth. Some of you mae &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
die, but it's a sacrifice I am willing to make.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Cheering}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Let the tournament begin!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Gasps}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-What is that?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Gasping}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-It's hideous!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Ah, that's not very nice. It's just a donkey.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Indeed. Knights, new plan! The one who kills the orge will be named &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
champion! Have it him!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Get him!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh, hey! Now come on! Hang on now.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Go ahead! Get him!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Can't we just settle this over a pint?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Kill the beast!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-No? All right then. Come on!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I don't give a damn about my reputation&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
You're living in the past &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
It's a new generation&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Damn!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Whinnying}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
A girl can do what she wants to do&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
And that's what I'm gonna do&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
And I don't give a damn about my bad reputation&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Not me&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Me, me, me&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Hey, Shrek, tag me! Tag me!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
And I don't give a damn about my bad reputation&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Never said I wanted to improve my station&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Ah!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Laughs}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
And I'm always feelin' good when I'm having fun&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Yeah!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
And I don't have to please no one&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-The chair! Give him the chair!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
And I don't give a damn about my bad reputation&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Not me&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Me, me, me&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Not me, not me&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Bell dings}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Cheering}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Laughs}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh, yeah! Ah! Ah! Thank you! Thank you very much! I'm here till &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Thursday. Try the veal! Ha, ha!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Shrek laughs}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Crowd gasping, murmuring}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Shall I give the order, sir?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-No, I have a better idea. People of DuLoc, I give you our champion!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-What?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Congratulations, orge. You're won the honor of embarking on a great &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
and noble quest.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Quest? I'm already in a quest, a quest to get my swamp back.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Your swamp?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Yeah, my swamp! Where you dumped those tale creatures!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Crowd murmuring}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Indeed. All right, orge. I'll make you a deal. Go on this quest for &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
me, and I'll give you your swamp back.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Exactly the way it was?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Down to the last slime-covered toadstool.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-And the squatters?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-As good as gone.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-What kind of quest?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Let me get this straight. You're gonna go fight a dragon and rescue a &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
princess just so Farquaad will give you back a swamp which you only &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
don't have because he filled it full of freaks in the first place.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Is that about right?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Maybe there's a good reason donkeys shouldn't talk.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I don't get it. Why don't you just pull some of that orge stuff on &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
him? Throttle him, lay siege to his fortress, grinds his bones to make &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
your bread, the whole orge trip.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh, I know what. Maybe I could have decapitated an entire village and &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
put their heads on a pike, gotten a knife, cut open their spleen and &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
drink their fluids. Does that sound good to you?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Uh, no, not really, no.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-For your information, there's a lot more to orges than people think.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Example?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Example? Okay, um, orges are like onions.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-{Sniffs} They stink?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Yes - - No!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-They make you cry?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-No!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-You leave them in the sun, they get all brown, start sproutin' little &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
white hairs.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-No! Layers! Onions have layers. Orges have layers! Onions have &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
layers. You get it? We both have layers. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Sighs}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh, you both have layers. Oh. {Sniffs} You know, not everybody likes &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
onions. Cake! Everybody loves cakes! Cakes have layers.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I don't care... what everyone likes. Orges are not like cakes.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-You know what else everybody likes? Parfaits. Have you ever met a &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
person, you say, &amp;quot;Let's get some parfait,&amp;quot; they say, &amp;quot;No, I don't like &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
no parfait&amp;quot;? Parfaits are delicious.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-No! You dense, irritating, miniature beast of burden! Orges are like &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
onions! And of story. Bye-bye. See ya later.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Parfaits may be the most delicious thing on the whole damn planet.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-You know, I think I preferred your humming. Do you have a tissure or &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
something? I'm making a mess. Just the word parfait make me start &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
slobbering.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I'm on my way from misery to happiness today&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Uh-huh,uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I'm on my way from misery to happiness today&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Uh-huh,uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
And everything that you receive up yonder&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Is what you give to me the day I wander&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I'm on my way &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I'm on my way &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I'm on my way &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Ohh! Shrek! Did you do that?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-You gotta warn somebody before you just crack one off. My mouth was &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
open. Believe me, Donkey, if it was me, you'd be dead. {Sniffs} It's &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
brimstone We must be getting close.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Yeah, right, brimstone. Don't be talking about it's the brimstone. I &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
know what I smell. It wasn't no brimstone. It didn't come off no stone &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
neither.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Rumbling}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Sure, it's big enough, but look at the location.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Laughing}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Uh, Shrek? Uh, remember when you said orges have layers?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh, aye.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Well, I have a bit of a confession to make. Donkeys don't have &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
layers. We wear our fear right out there on our sleeves.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Wait a second.  Donkeys don't have sleeves.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-You know what I mean.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-You can't tell me you're afraid of heights.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I'm just a little uncomfortable about being on a rickety bridge over &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
a boiling like of lava!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Come on, Donkey. I'm right here beside ya, okay? For emotional &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
support., we'll just tackle this thing together one little baby step &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
at a time.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Really?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Really, really.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Okay, that makes me feel so much better.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Just keep moving. And don't look  down.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Okay, don't look  down. Don't look  down. Don't look  down. Keep on &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
moving. Don't look  down.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Gasps}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Shrek! I'm lookin' down! Oh, God, I can't do this! Just let me off, &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
please! &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-But you're already halfway.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-But I know that half is safe!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Okay, fine. I don't have time for this. You go back.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Shrek, no! Wait!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Just, Donkey - - Let's have a dance then, shall me?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Don't do that!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh, I'm sorry. Do what?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh, this?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Yes, that!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Yes? Yes, do it. Okay.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Screams}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-No, Shrek! No! Stop it!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-You said do it! I'm doin' it.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. Shrek, I'm gonna die. Oh!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-That'll do, Donkey. That'll do.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Cool.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-So where is this fire-breathing pain-in-the-neck anyway?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Inside, waiting for us to rescue her.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Chuckles}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I was talkin' about the dragon, Shrek.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Water dripping, wind howling}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-You afraid?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-No.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-But - -&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- Shh.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh, good. Me neither.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Gasps}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-'Cause there's nothin' wrong with bein' afraid. Fear's a sensible &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
response to an unfamiliar situation. Unfamiliar dangerous situation, I &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
might add. With a dragon that breathes fire and eats knights and &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
breathes fire, it sure doesn't mean you're a coward if you're a little &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
scared. I sure as heck ain't no coward. I know that.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Gasps}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Donkey, two things, okay? Shut ... up. Now go over there and see if &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
you can find any stairs.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Stairs? I thought we was lookin' for the princess.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-The princess will be up the stairs in the highest room in the tallest &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
tower.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-What makes you think she'll be there?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I read it in a book once.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Cool. You handle the dragon. I'll handle the stairs. I'll find those &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
stairs. I'll whip their butt too. Those stairs won't know which way &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
they're goin'.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Creacing}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I'm gonna take drastic steps. Kick it to the curb. Don't mess with &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
me. I'm the stair master. I've mastered the stairs. I wish I had a &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
step right here. I'd step all over it.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Well, at least we know where the princess is, but where's the - - &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Dragon!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Screams}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Gasps}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Roars}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Donkey, look out!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Screams}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Whimpering}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Got ya!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Roars}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Gasps}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Shouts}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Screaming}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Gasps}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh! Aah! Aah!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Gasping}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Crowls}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-No. Oh, no, No!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Screams}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh, what large teeth you have.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Crowls}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I mean white, sparkling teeth. I know you probably hear this all time &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
from your food, but you must bleach, 'cause that is one dazzling smile &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
you got  there. Do I detect a hint of minty freshness? And you know &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
what else? You're - - You're a girl dragon! Oh, sure! I mean, of &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
course you're a girl dragon. You're just reeking of feminine beauty. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
What's the matter with you? You got something in your eye? Ohh. Oh. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Oh. Man, I'd really love to stay, but you know, I'm, uh - - &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
(Coughs)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I'm an asthmatic, and I don't know if it'd work out if you're gonna &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
blow smoke rings. Shrek!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Gasps}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Whimpering}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-No! Shrek! Shrek! Shrek!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Groans, Sighs}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Vocalizing}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh! Oh!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Wake up!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-What?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Are you Princess Fiona?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I am, awaiting a knight so bold as to rescue me.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh, that's nice. Now let's go!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-But wait, Sir Knight. This be-ith our first meeting. Should it not be &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
a wonderful, romantic moment?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Yeah, sorry, lady. There's no time.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Hey, wait. What are you doing? You should sweep me off my feet out &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
yonder window and down a rope onto your valiant steed.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-You've had a lot of time to plan this, haven't you?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Mm-hmm.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Screams, grunts}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-But we have to savor this moment! You could recite an epic poem for &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
me. A ballad? A sonnet! A limerick? Or something!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I don't think so.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Can I at least know the name of my champion?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Um, Shrek.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Sir Shrek.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Cleans throat}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I pray that you take this favor as a token of my gratitude.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Thanks!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Roaring}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-You didn't slay the dragon?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-It's on my to-do list. Now come on!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Screams}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-But this isn't right! You were meant to charge in, sword drawn, &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
banner flying. That's what all the other knights did.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Yeah, right before they burst into flame.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-That's not the point. Oh!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Wait. Where are you going? The next's over there.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Well, I have to save my ass.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-What kind of knight are you?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-One of a kind.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Slow down. Slow down, baby, please. I believe it's healthy to get to &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
know someone over a long perriod of time. Just call me old-fashioned. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Laughs}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I don't want to rush into a physical relationship. I'm not &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
emotionally ready for a commitment of, uh, this - -  Magnitude really &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
is the word I'm looking for. Magnitude- - Hey, that is unwanted &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
physical contact. Hey, what are you doing? Okay, okay. Let's just back &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
up a little and take this one step at a time. We really should get to &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
know each other first as friends or pen pals. I'm on the road a lot, &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
but I just love receiving cards - -  I'd really love to stay, but - - &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Don't do that! That's my tail! That's my personal tail. You're gonna &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
tear it off. I don't give permission - - What are you gonna do with &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
that? Hey, now. No way. No! No! No, no! No. No, no, no. No! Oh!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Growls}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Roaring}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Gasps}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Hi, Princess!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-It talks!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Yeah, it's getting him to shut up that's the trick.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Screams}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Screaming}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Thuds}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Groans}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Roars}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Roaring}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Okay, you two, heard for the exit! I'll take care of the dragon.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Fchoing}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Run!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Gasping}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Screaming}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Roaring}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Screams}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Roars}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Panting, sighs}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Whimpers}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Roars}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-You did it!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-You rescued me! You're amazing. You're - - You're wonderful. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
You're... a little unorthodox I'll admit. But they deed is great, and &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
thine heart is pure. I am eternally in your debt. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Clears throat}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-And where would a brave knight be without his noble steed?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I hope you heard that. She called me a noble steed. She think I'm a &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
steed.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-The battle is won. You may remove your helmet, good Sir Knight.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Uh, no.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Why not?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I have helmet hair.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Please. I would'st look upon the face of my rescuer.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-No, no, you wouldn't - - 'st.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-But how will you kiss me?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-What? That wasn't in the job description.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Maybe it's a perk.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-No, it's destiny. Oh, you must know how it goes. A princess locked in &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
a tower and beset by a dragon is rescued by a brave knight, and then &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
they share true love's first kiss.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Hmm? With Shrek? You think- - Wait. Wait. You think that Shrek is you &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
true love?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Well, yes.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Laughing}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-You think Shrek is your true love!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-What is so funny?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Let's just say I'm not your tipe, okay?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Of course, you are. You're my rescuer. Now - - Now remove your &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
helmet.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Look. I really don't think this is a good idea.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Just take off the helmet.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I'm not going to.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Take ot off.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-No!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Now!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Okay! Easy. As you command. Your Highness.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-You- - You're a- - an orge.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh, you were expecting Prince Charming.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Well, yes, actually. Oh, no. This is all wrong. You're not supposed &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
to be an orge.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Sighs}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Princess, I was sent to rescue you by Lord Farquaad, okay? He is the &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
one who wants to marry you.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Then why didn't he come rescue me?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Good question. You should ask him that when we get there.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-But I have to be rescued by my true love, not by some prge and his- - &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
his pet.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-So much for noble steed.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-You're not making my job any easier.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I'm sorry, but your job is not my problem. You can tell Lord Farquaad &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
that if he wants to rescue me properly, I'll be waiting for him right &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
here.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Hey! I'm no one's messenger boy, all right? I'm a delivery boy.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-You wouldn't dare. Put me down!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Ya comin', Donkey?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I'm right behind ya.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Put me down, or you will suffer the consequences! This is not &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
dignified! Put me down!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Okay, so here's another question. Say there's a woman that digs you, &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
right, but you don't really like her that way. How do you let her down &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
real easy so her feelings aren't hurt, but you don't get burned to a &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
crisp and eaten?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-You just tell her she's not your true love. Everyone knowest what &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
happens when you find your - -  Hey!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Sighs}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-The sooner we get to DuLoc the better.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-You're gonna love it there, Princess. It's beautiful!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-And what of my groom-to-be? Lord Farquaad? What's he like?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Let me put it this way, Princess. Men of Farquaad's stature are in &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
short supply.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Laughs}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I don't know. There are those who think little of him.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Stop it. Stop it, both of you. You're just jealous you can never &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
measure up to a great ruler like Lord Farquaad.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Yeah, well, maybe you're right, Princess. But I'll let you do the &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;quot;measuring&amp;quot; when you see him tomorrow.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Tomorrow? It'll take that long? Shouldn't we stop to make camp?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-No, that'll take longer. We can keep going.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-But there's robbers in the woods.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Whoa! Time out, Shrek! Camping's starting to sound good.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Hey, come on. I'm scarier than anything we're going to see in this &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
forest.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I need to find somewhere to camp now!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Birds wings fluttering}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Grunting}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Hey! Over here.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Shrek, we can do better than that. I don't think this is fit for a &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
princess.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-No, no, it's perfect. It just needs a few homey touches.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Homey touches? Like what?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Crashing}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-A door? Well, gentlemen, I bid thee good night.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-You want me to read you a bedtime story? I will.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I said good night!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Shrek, What are you doing?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Laughs}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I just- - You know - - Oh, come on. I was just kidding.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Fire cracking}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-And, uh, that one, that's Throwback, the only orge to ever spit over &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
three wheat fields. Right. Yeah.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Hey, can you tell my future from these stars?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-The stars don't tell the future, Donkey. They tell stories. Look, &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
there's Bloodnut, the Flatulent. You can guess what he's famous for.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I know you're making this up.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-No, look. There he is,  and there's the group of hunters running away &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
from his stench.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-That ain't nothin' but a bunch of little dots.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-You know, Donkey, sometimes things are more than they appear. Hmm? &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Forget it.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Sighs}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Hey, Shrek, what we gonna do when we get our swamp anyway?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Our swamp?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-You know, when we're through rescuing the princess.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-We? Donkey, there's no &amp;quot;we&amp;quot;. There's no &amp;quot;our&amp;quot;. There's just me and my &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
swamp. The first thing I'm gonna do is build a ten-foot wall arond my &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
land.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-You cut me deep, Shrek. You cut me real deep just now. You know what &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I think? I think this whole wall thing is just a way to keep somebody &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
out.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-No, do ya think?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Are you hidin' something?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Never mind, Donkey.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh, this is another one of those onion things, isn't it?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-No, this is one of those drop-it and leave-it alone things.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Why don't you want to talk about it?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Why do you want to talk about it?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Why are you blocking?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I'm not blocking.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh, yes, you are.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Donkey, I'm warning you.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Who you trying to keep out?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Everyone! Okay?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh, now we're gettin' somewhere.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh! For the love of Pete!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-What's your problem? What you got against the whole world anyway?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Look, I'm not the one with the problem, okay? It's the world that &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
seems to have a problem with me. People take one look at me and go. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;quot;Aah! Help! Run! A big, stupid, ugly orge!&amp;quot; They judge me before they &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
even know me. That's why I'm better off alone.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-You know what? When we met, I didn't think you was just a big, &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
stupid, ugly orge.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Yeah, I know.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-So, uh, are there any donkeys up there?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Well, there's, um, Gabby, the Small and Annoying.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Okay, okay, I see it now. The big shiny one, right there. That one &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
there?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-That's the moon.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh, okay.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Orchestra}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Dulcimer}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Again, show me again. Mirror, mirror, show her to me. Show me the &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
princess.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Hmph.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Ah. Perfect.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Inhales}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Snoring}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Vocalizing}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Whistling}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Sizzling}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Sniffs, yawns}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Mmm, yeah, you know I like it like that.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
--Come on, baby. I said I like it.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Donkey, wake up.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Huh? What?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Wake up.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-What?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Good morning. Hm, how do you like your eggs?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Good morning, Princess!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-What's all this about?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-You know, we kind of got off to a bad start yesterday. I wanted to &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
make it up to you. I mean, after all, you did rescue me.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Uh, thanks.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Sniffs}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Well, eat up. We've got a big day ahead of us.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Belches}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Shrek!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-What? It's a compliment. Better out than in, I always say. {Laughs}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Well, it's no way to behave in front of a princess.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Belches}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Thanks.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-She's as nasty as you are.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-{Laughs} You know, you're not exactly what I expected.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Well, maybe you shouldn't judge people before you get to know them.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Vocalizing}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-La liberte! Hey!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Princess!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Laughs}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-What are you doing?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Be still, mon cherie, for I am you savior! And I am rescuing you from &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
this green - -&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Kissing sounds}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-beast.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Hey!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-That's my princess! Go find you own!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Please, monster! Can't you see I'm a little busy here?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Look, pal, I don't know who you think you are!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh! Of couse! Oh, how rude. Please let me introduse myself. Oh, Merry &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Men. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Laughs}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Accordion}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Ta, dah, dah, dah, whoo.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I steal from the rich and give to the needy.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
He takes a wee percentage, &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
But I'm not greedy. I rescue pretty damsels&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Man, I'm good&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
What a guy, Monsieur Hood&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Break it down&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I like an honest fight&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
and a saucy little maid&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
What he's basically saying&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
is he likes to get - - &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Paid&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
So&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
When an orge in the bush&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
grabs a lady by the tush&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
That's bad&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
That's bad&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
When a beauty's with a beast&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
it makes me awfully mad&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
He's mad&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
He's really, really mad&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I'll take my blade and&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
ram it through your heart&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Keep your eyes on me, boys&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
'cause I'm about to start&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Grunts, Groans}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Karate Yell}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Merry Men Gasping}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Panting}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Man, that was annoying!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh, you little- - &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Karate Yell}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Accordion}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Shouting, groaning}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Chuckles}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Uh, shall we?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Hold the phone.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Grunts}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Oh! Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on now. Where did that come from?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-What?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-That! Back there. That was amazing! Where did you learn that?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Well - - {Chuckles} When one lives alone, uh, one has to learn these &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
things in case there's a - - There's an arrow in your butt!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-What? Oh, would you look at that?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh, no. This is all my fault. I'm so sorry.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Why? What's wrong?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Shrek's hurt.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Shrek's hurt. Shrek's hurt? Oh, no, Shrek's gonna die.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Donkey, I'm okay.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-You can't do this to me, Shrek. I'm too young for you to die. Keep &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
you legs elevated. Turn your head and cough. Does anyone know the &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Heimlich?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Donkey! Calm down. If you want to help Shrek, run into the woods and &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
find me a blue flower with red thorns.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Blue flower, red thorns. Okay, I'm on it. Blue flower, red thorns. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Don't die Shrek. If you see a long tunnel, stay away from the light!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-{Both} Donkey!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh, yeah. Right. Blue flower, red thorns.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-What are the flowers for?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-For getting rid of Donkey.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Ah.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Now you hold still, and I'll yank this thing out.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Ow! Hey! Easy with the yankin'.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I'm sorry, but it has to come out.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-No, it's tender.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Now, hold on.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-What you're doing is the opposite of help.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Don't move.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Look, time out.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Would you - - &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Grunts}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Okay. What do you propose we do?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
thorns. This would be so much easier if I wasn't color-blind! Blue &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
flower, red thorns.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Ow!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Hold on, Shrek! I'm comin'!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Ow! Not good.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Okay. Okay. I can nearly see the head.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Grunts}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-It's just about - - &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Ow! Ohh!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Ahem.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Nothing happend. We were just, uh - - &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Look, if you wanted to be alone, all you had to do was ask. Okay?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh, come on! That's the last thing on my mind. The princess here was &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
just- - Ugh! &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Ow!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Hey, what's that?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Nervous chickle}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-That's- - Is that blood?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Sighs}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Bird chirping}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Grunts}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
My beloved monster and me&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
We go everywhere together&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Wearin' a raincoat&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
that has four sleeves&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Gets us through all kinds of weather&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Aah!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
She will always be the only thing&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
That comes between me and the awful sting&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
That comes from living in a world&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
that's so damn mean&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Croaks}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Oh, oh-oh-oh-oh&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Hey!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
La-la, la-la, la-la-la-la&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Both laughing}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
La-la, la-la, la-la&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-There it is, Princess. Your future awaits you.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-That's DuLoc?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Yeah, I know. You know, Shrek thinks Lord Farquaad's compensating for &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
something,  which I think means he has a really - - Ow!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Um, I, uh- -  I guess we better move on.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Sure. But, Shrek? I'm - - I'm worried about Donkey.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Blubbering}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-What?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I mean, look at him. He doesn't look so good. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-What are you talking about? I'm fine.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-That's what they always say, and then next thing you know, you're on &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
your back. Dead.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-You know, she's right. You look awful. Do you want to sit down?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Uh, you know, I'll make you some tea.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I didn't want to say nothin', but I got this twinge in my neck, and &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
when I turn my head like this, look, &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Bones crunch}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Ow! See?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Who's hungry? I'll find us some dinner.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I'll get the firewood.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Hey, where you goin'? Oh, man, I can't feel my toes! I don't have any &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
toes! I think I need a hug.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Mmm. This is good. This is really good. What is this?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Uh, weedrat. Rotisserie style.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-No kidding. Well, this is delicious.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Well, they're also great in stews. Now, I don't mean to brag, but I &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
make a mean weedrat stew.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Chuckling}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Sighs}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I guess I'll be dining a little differently tomorrow night.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Gulps}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Maybe you can come visit me in the swamp sometime. I'll cook all kind &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
of stuff for you. Swamp toad soup, fish eye tartare - - you name it.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Chuckles}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I'd like that.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Slurps, laughs}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
See the pyramids along the Nile&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Um, Princess?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Watch the sunrise from a tropic isle&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Yes, Shrek?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I, um, I was wondering.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Just remember, darling all the while&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Are you- - &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
You belong to me&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Sighs} &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Are you gonna eat that?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Chuckles}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Man, isn't this romantic? Just look at that sunset.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Sunset?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh, no! I mean, it's late. I-It's very late.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-What?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Wait a minute. I see what's goin' on here. You're afraid of the dark, &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
aren't you?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Yes! Yes, that's it. I'm terrified. You know, I'd better go inside.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Don't feel bad, Princess. I used to be afraid of the dark, too, until &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- - Hey, no, wait. I'm still afraid of the dark.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Shrek sighs}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
 -Good night.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
 -Good night.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Door creaks}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Ohh! Now I really see what's goin' on here.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh, what are you talkin' about?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I don't even wanna hear it. Look, I'm an animal, and I got instincts. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
And I know you two were diggin' on each other. I could feel it.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-You're crazy. I'm just bringing her back to Farquaad.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh, come on, Shrek. Wake up and smell the pheromones. Just go on in &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
and tell her how you feel.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I- - There's nothing to tell. Besides, even if I did tell her that, &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
well, you know - - and I'm not sayin' I do 'cause I don't - - she's a &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
princess, and I'm - - &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-An orge?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Yeah. An orge.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Hey, where you goin'?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-To get... move firewood.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Sighs} &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Princess? Princess Fiona? Princess, where are you?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Wings fluttering}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Princess?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Creaking}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Gasps}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-It's very spooky in here. I ain't playing no games.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Screams}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Aah!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh, no!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-No, help!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Shh!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Shrek! Shrek! Shrek!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-No, it's okay. It's okay.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-What did you do with the princess?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Donkey, I'm the princess.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Aah!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-It's me, in this body.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh, my God! You ate the princess. Can you hear me?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Donkey!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Listen, keep breathing! I'll get you out of there!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-No!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Shrek! Shrek! Shrek!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Shh.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Shrek!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-This is me.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Muffled mumbling}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Princess? What happened to you? You're, uh, uh, uh, different.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I'm ugly, okay?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Well, yeah! Was it something you ate? 'Cause I told Shrek those rats &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
was a bad idea. You are what you eat, I said. Now - - &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-No.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I - - I've been this way as long as I can remember.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-What do you mean? Look, I ain't never seen you like this before.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-It's only happens when sun goes down.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;quot;By night one way, by day another. This shall be the norm... until you &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
find true love's first kiss... and then take love's true form.&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Ah, that's beautiful. I didn't know you wrote poetry.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-It's a spell.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Sighs} &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-When I was a little girl, a witch cast a spell on me. Every night I &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
become this. This horrible, ugly beast! I was placed in a tower to &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
await the day my true love would rescue me. That's why I have to marry &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Lord Farquaad tomorrow before the sun sets and he sees me like this.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Sobs}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-All right, all right. Calm down. Look, it's not that bad. You're not &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
that ugly. Well, I ain't gonna lie. You are ugly. But you only look &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
like this at night. Shrek's ugly 24-7.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-But Donkey, I'm a princess, and this is not how a princess is meant &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
to look.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Princess, how 'bout if you don't marry Farquaad?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I have to.  Only my true love's kiss can break the spell.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-But, you know, um, you're kind of an orge, and Shrek - - well, you &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
got a lot in common.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Shrek?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Princess, I - - Uh, how's it going, first of all? Good? Um, good for &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
me too. I'm okay. I saw this flower and thought of you because it's &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
pretty and - - well, I don't really like it, but I thought you might &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
like it 'cause you're pretty. But I like you anyway. I'd - - uh, uh - &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Sighs}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I'm in trouble. Okay, here we go.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I can't just marry whoever I want. Take a good look at me, Donkey. I &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
mean, really, who can ever love a beast so hideous and ugly? &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;quot;Princess&amp;quot; and &amp;quot;ugly&amp;quot; don't go together. That's why I can't stay here &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
with Shrek.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Gasps}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-My only chance to live happily ever after is to marry my true love.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Deep sigh}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Don't you see, Donkey? That's just how it has to be. It's the only &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
way to break the spell.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-You at least gotta tell Shrek the truth.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-No! You can't breathe a word. No one must ever know.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-What's the point of being able to talk if you gotta keep secrets?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Promise you won't tell. Promise!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-All right, all right. I won't tell him. But you should. I just know &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
before this is over, I'm gonna need a whole lot of serious therapy.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Look at my eye twitchin'.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Door opens}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Snoring}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I tell him, I tell him not. I tell him, I tell him not. I tell him. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Shrek! Shrek, there's something I want - - &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Snoring}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Shrek. Are you all right?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Perfect! Never been better.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I - - I don't - - There's something I have to tell you.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-You don't have to tell me anything, Princess. I heard enough last &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
night.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-You heard what I said?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Every word.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I thought you'd understand.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh, I undersatnd. Like you said, &amp;quot;Who could love a hideous, ugly &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
beast?&amp;quot; &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-But I thought that wouldn't matter to you.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Yeah? Well, it does.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Gasps, sighs}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Ah, right on time.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Horse whinnies}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Princess, I've brought you a little something.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Fanfare}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Yawns}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-What'd I miss? What'd I miss?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Muffled}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Who said that? Couldn't have been a donkey.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Princess Fiona.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-As promised. Now hand it over.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Very well, orge. The deed to your swamp, cleared out, as agreed.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Take it and go before I change my mind.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Forgive me, Princess, for startling you, but you startled me, for I &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
have never seen such a radiant beauty before. I'm Lord Farquaad.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Lord Farquaad? Oh, no, no.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Snaps fingers}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Forgive me, my lord, for I was just saying a short... farewell.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh, that is so sweet. You don't have to waste good manners on the &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
orge. It's not like it has feelings.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-No, you're right. It doesn't.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Princess Fiona, beautiful, fair, flawerss Fiona. I ask your hand in &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
marriage.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Gasps}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Will you be the perfect bride for the perfect groom?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Lord Farquaad, I accept. Nothing would make - - &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Excellent! I'll start the plans, for tomorrow we wed!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-No! I mean, uh, why wait? Let's get married today before the sun &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
sets.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh, anxious, are you? You're right. The sooner, the better. There's &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
so much to do! Threre's the caterer, the cake, the band, the guest &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
list. Captain, round up some guests!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Fare-thee-well, orge.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Shrek, what are you doing? You're letting her get away.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Yeah? So what?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Shrek, there's something about her you don't know. Look, I talked to &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
her last night, She's - - &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I know you talked to her last night. You're great pals, aren't ya? &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Now, if you two are such good friends, why don't you follow her home?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Shrek, I - - I wanna go with you.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I told you, didn't I? You're not coming home with me. I live alone! &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
My swamp! Me! Nobody else! Understand? Nobody! Especially useless, &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
pathetic, annoying, talking donkeys!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-But I thought - - &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Yeah. You know what? You tought wrong!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Shrek.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I heard there was a secret chord&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
That David played and it pleased the Lord&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
But you don't really care for music, do ya&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
It goes like this the fourth, the fifth&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The minor fall the major lift&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The baffled king composing hallelujah&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Hallelujah,  hallelujah&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Baby, I've been here before&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I know this room I've walked this floor&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I used to live alone before I knew you&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I've seen your flag on the marble arch&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
But love is not a victory march&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Hallelujah,  hallelujah&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
And all I ever learned from love&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Is how to shoot at someone&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Who outdrew you&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Moaning}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
And it's not a cry you can hear at night&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
It's not somebody who's seen the light&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Moaning}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Hallelujah,  hallelujah&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Thumping sound}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Donkey?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Grunts}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-What are you doing?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I would think, of all people, you would recognize a wall when you see &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
one.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Well, yeah. But the wall's supposed to go around my swamp, not &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
through it.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-It is around your half. See that's your half, and this is my half.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh! Your half. Hmm.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Yes, my half. I helped rescue the princess. I did half the work. I &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
get half the booty. Now hand me that big old rock, the one that looks &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
like your head.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Back off!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-No, you back off.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-This is my swamp!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Our swamp.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Let go, Donkey!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-You let go.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Stubborn jackass!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Smelly orge.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Fine!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Hey, hey, come back here. I'm not through with you yet.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Well, I'm through with you.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Uh-uh. You know, with you it's always, &amp;quot;Me, me, me!&amp;quot; Well, guess &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
what! Now it's my turn! So you just shut up and pay attention! You are &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
mean to me. You insult me and you don't appreciate anything that I do! &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
You're always pushing me around or pushing me away.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh, yeah? Well, if I treated you so bad, how come you came back?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Because that's what friends do! They forgive each other!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh, yeah. You're right, Donkey. I forgive you... for stabbin' me in &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
the back!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Ohh! You're so wrapped up in layers, onion boy, you're afraid of your &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
own feelings.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Go away!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-There you are , doing it again just like you did to Fiona. All she &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
ever do was like you, maybe even love you.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Love me? She said I was ugly, a hideous creature. I heard the two of &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
you talking. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-She wasn't talkin' about you. She was talkin' about, uh, somebody &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
else.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-She wasn't talking about me? Well, then who was she talking about?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Uh-uh, no way. I ain't saying anything. You don't wanna listen to me. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Right? Right?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Donkey!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-No!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Okay, look. I'm sorry, all right?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Sighs}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I'm sorry. I guess I am just a big, stupid, ugly orge. Can you &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
forgive me?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Hey, that's what friends are for, right?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Right. Friends?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Friends.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-So, um, what did Fiona say about me?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-What are you asking me for? Why don't you just go ask her?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-The wedding! We'll never make it in time.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Ha-ha-ha! Never fear, for where, there's a will, there's a way and I &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
have a way.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Whistles}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Donkey?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I guess it's just my animal magnetism.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Laughing}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Aw, come here, you.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-All right, all right.Don't get all slobbery. No one likes a kiss ass. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
All right, hop on and hold on tight. I haven't had a chance to install &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
the seat belts yet.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Whoo!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Bells tolling}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{All gasping}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-People of DuLoc, we gather here today to bear witnss to the union....&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Um-&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-of our new king - -&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Excuse me. Could we just skip ahead to the &amp;quot;I do's&amp;quot;?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Chuckling}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Go on.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Go ahead, HAVE SOME FUN. If we need you, I'll whistle. How about &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
that? Shrek, wait, wait! Wait a minute! You wanna do this right, don't &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
you?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-What are you talking about?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-There's a line you gotta wait for. The preacher's gonna say, &amp;quot;Speak &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
now or forever hold your peace.&amp;quot; That's when you say, &amp;quot;I object!&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I don't have time for this!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Hey, wait. What are you doing? Listen to me! Look, you love this &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
woman, don't you?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Yes.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-You wanna hold her?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Yes.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Please her?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Yes!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Then you got to, got to try a little tenderness. The chicks love that &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
romantic crap!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-All right! Cut it out. When does this guy say the line?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-We gotta check it out.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-And so, by the power vested in me, &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-What do you see?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-The whole town's in there.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I now pronounce you husband and wife,&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-They're at the altar.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-king and queen.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Mother Fletcher! He already said it.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh, for the love of Pete!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Grunts}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I object!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Shrek?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Gasps}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh, now what does he want?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Hi, everyone. Havin' a good time, are ya? I love DuLoc, first at all. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Very clean.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-What are you doing here?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Really, it's rude enough being alive when no one wants you, but &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
showing up uninvited to a wedding - -&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Fiona! I need to talk to you.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh, now you wanna talk? It's a little late for that, so if you'll &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
excuse me - - &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-But you can't marry him.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-And why not?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Because- - Because he's just marring you so he can be king.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Outrageous! Fiona, don't listen to him.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-He's not your true love.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-And what do you know about true love?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Well, I - - Uh - - I mean - - &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh, this is precious. The orge has fallen in love with the princess! &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Oh, good Lord.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Crowd laughting}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-An orge and a princess!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Shrek, is this true?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Who cares? It's preposterous! Fiona, my love, we're but a kiss away &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
from our &amp;quot;happily ever after.&amp;quot; Now kiss me! Mmmmm!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-&amp;quot;By night one way, by day another.&amp;quot; I wanted to show you before.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Whimpers}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Crown gasping}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Well, uh, that explains a lot.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Ugh! It's disgusting! Guards! Guards! I order you to get that out of &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
my sight now! Get them! Get them both!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-No, no!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Shrek!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-This hocus-pocus alters nothing. This marriage is binding, and that &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
makes me king! See? See?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-No, let go of me! Shrek!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-No!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Don't just stand there, you morons.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Get out of my way! Fiona! Arrgh! &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I'll make you regret the day we met. I'll see you drawn and &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
quartered!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-You'll beg for death to save you!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-No, Shrek!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-And as for you, my wife,&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Fiona!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I'll have you locked back in that tower for the rest of your days!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I'm king!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Whistles}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I will have order! I will have perfection! I will have - - Aaaah!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Aah!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-All right. Nobody move. I got a dragon here, and I'm not afraid to &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
use it.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Roars}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I'm a donkey on the edge!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Belches}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Celebrity marriages. They never last, do they?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Cheering}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Go ahead, Shrek.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Uh, Fiona?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Yes, Shrek?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I - - I love you.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Really?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Really, really.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- I love you too.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Aawww!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-&amp;quot;Until you find true love's first kiss and then take love's true &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
form.&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-&amp;quot;Take love's true form. Take love's true form.&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Fiona? Fiona. Are you all right?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Well, yes. But I don't understand. I'm supposed to be beautiful.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-But you ARE beautiful.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Chuckles}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I was hoping this would be a happy ending.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I thought love was only true in fairy tales&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Oy!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Meant for someone else but not for me&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Love was out to get me&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
That's the way it seemed&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Disappointment haunted all my dreams&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
And then I saw her face&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Now I'm a believer and not a trace&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Of doubt in my mind&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I'm in love&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Ooh-aah&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I'm a believer I couldn't leave her&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
If I tried&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-God bless us, every one.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Come on, y'all!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Then I saw her face&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Ha-ha&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Now I'm a believer &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Listen!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Not a trace&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Of doubt in my mind&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I'm in love&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Ooh-aah&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I'm a believer &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I couldn't leave her if I tried&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Ooh!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Uh!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Then I saw her face&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Now I'm a believer &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Hey!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Not a trace&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Uhh! Yeah.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Of doubt in my mind&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-One more time!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I'm in love&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I'm a believer &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Come on!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I believe, I believe, I believe, I believe, &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I believe, I believe, I believe, I believe, I believe, hey&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Y'all sing it with me!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Believe&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I believe&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
People in the back!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I believe&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I'm a believer &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I believe&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I believe&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I believe&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I believe&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Hysterical laughing}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh, that's funny. Oh. Oh.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I can't breathe. I can't breathe. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I believe in self-assertion&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Destiny or a slight diversion&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Now it seems I've got my head on straight&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I'm a freak an apparition&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Seems I've made the right decision&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
To try to turn back now it might be too late&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Now I want to stay home today&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Don't wanna go out&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
If anyone comes to play&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Gonna get thrown out&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I wanna stay home today&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Don't want no company&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
No way&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Yeah, yeah, yeah&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I wanna be a millionaire someday&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
But know what it feels like to give it away&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Watch me march to the beat of my own drum&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
And it's off to the moon and then back again&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Same old day Same situation&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
My happiness rears back as if to say&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I wanna stay home today&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Don't wanna go out&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
If anyone comes to play&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Gonna get thrown out&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I wanna stay home today&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Don't want no company&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
No way&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Yeah, yeah, yeah&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I wanna stay home, stay home, stay home.........&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I get such a thrill when you look in my eyes&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
My heart skips a beat&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Girl, I feel so alive&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Please tell me, baby, if all this is true&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
'Cause deep down inside all I wanted was you&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Oh-oh-oh&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Makes me wanna dance&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Oh-oh-oh&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
It's a new romance&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Oh-oh-oh&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I look into your eyes&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Oh-oh-oh&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The best years of our lives&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
When we first met&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I could hardly believe&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The things that would happen &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
and we could achieve&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
So let's be together&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
for all of our time&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Oh, girl, I'm so thankful&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
that you are still mine&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
You always consider me&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
like an ugly duckling&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
And treat me like a Nostradamus&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
was why I had to get my shine on&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I break a little something&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
to keep my mind on&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
'Cause you had my mind gone&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Eh-eh, eh-eh, eh-eh&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Turn the lights on, Come on, baby&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Let's just rewind the song&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
'Cause all I want to do is &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
make the rest years the best years&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
All night long&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Oh-oh-oh&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Makes me wanna dance&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Makes me wanna dance&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Oh-oh-oh&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
It's a new romance&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
It's a new romance&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Oh-oh-oh&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I look into your eyes&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Oh, yeah, yeah&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I look into your eyes&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Oh-oh-oh&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The best years of our lives&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah..............&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Everything looks bright&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Standing in your light&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Everything feels right&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
What's left is out of sight&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
What's a girl to do &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I'm telling you&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
You're on my mind&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I wanna be with you&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
'Cause when you're&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
standin' next to me&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
It's like wow&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
And all your kisses&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
seem to set me free&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
It's like wow&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
And when we touch&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
it's such a rush&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I can't get enough&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
It's like- - It's like&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Ooh-ooh&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Hey, what&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
It's like wow&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Ooh-ooh, hey&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Hey, yeah&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
It's like wow&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Everything is looking&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
right now, right now&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
It's like wow&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
And I got this feeling&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
This feeling &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
it's just like wow&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
It's just like wow&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
You are all I'm thinking of.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Like wow&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Everything feels right&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Everything feels right&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Like wow&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Everything looks bright&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
All my senses are right&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Like wow&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Everything feels right&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Baby, baby, baby&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
the way I'm feeling you&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Is like wow&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
There is something&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
that I see&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
In the way &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
you look at me&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
There's a smile&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
There's a truth&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
In your eyes&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
What an unexpected way&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
On this unexpected day&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Could it be&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
This is where I belong&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
It 99is you I have loved&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
All long&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
There's no more mystery&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
It is finally clear to me&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
You're the home&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
my heart's searched for&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
So long&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
It is you I have loved&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
All long&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Whoa, over and over&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I'm filled with emotion&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
As I look&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Into your perfect face&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>I torture furries and take them to the fuhrer</name></author>	</entry>

	<entry>
		<id>//en.wikifur.com/wiki/Help:Contents</id>
		<title>Help:Contents</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://en.wikifur.com/wiki/Help:Contents"/>
				<updated>2023-09-11T00:26:17Z</updated>
		
		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;I torture furries and take them to the fuhrer: Shrek&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;Shrek movie script&lt;br /&gt;
 {Man} Once upon a time there was a lovely princess.&lt;br /&gt;
But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort which could only &lt;br /&gt;
be broken by love's first kiss.&lt;br /&gt;
She was locked away in a castle guarded by a terrible fire-breathing &lt;br /&gt;
dragon.&lt;br /&gt;
Many brave knights had attempted to free her from this dreadful prison, &lt;br /&gt;
but non prevailed.&lt;br /&gt;
She waited in the dragon's keep in the highest room of the tallest &lt;br /&gt;
tower for her true love and true love's first kiss.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Laughing} &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Like that's ever gonna happen.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Paper Rusting, Toilet Flushes}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
What a load of - &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
She was lookin' kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
In the shape of an &amp;quot;L&amp;quot; on her forehead&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The years start comin' and they don't stop comin'&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Fed to the rules and hit the ground runnin'&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Didn't make sense not to live for fun&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
So much to do so much to see&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
So what's wrong with takin' the backstreets&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
You'll never know if you don't go&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
You'll never shine if you don't glow&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Hey, now You're an all-star&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Get your game on, go play&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Hey, now You're a rock star&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Get the show on, get paid&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
And all that glitters is gold&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Only shootin' stars break the mold&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
It's a cool place and they say it gets colder&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
You're bundled up now but wait till you get older&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
But the meteor men beg to differ&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Judging by the hole in the satellite picture&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The ice we skate is gettin' pretty thin&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The water's getting warm so you might as well swim&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
My world's on fire&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
How 'bout yours&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
That's the way I like it and I'll never get bored&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Hey, now, you're an all-star&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Shouting}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Get your game on, go play&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Hey, now You're a rock star&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Get the show on, get paid&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
And all that glitters is gold&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Only shootin' stars break the mold&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Belches}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Go!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Go!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Record Scratching}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Go. Go.Go.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Hey, now, you're an all-star&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Get your game on, go play&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Hey, now You're a rock star&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Get the show on, get paid&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
And all that glitters is gold&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Only shootin' stars break the mold&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Think it's in there?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-All right. Let's get it!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Whoa. Hold on. Do you know what that thing can do to you?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Yeah, it'll grind your bones for it's bread.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Laughs}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Yes, well, actually, that would be a giant.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Now, ogres - - They're much worse.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
They'll make a suit from your freshly peeled skin.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-No!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-They'll shave your liver. Squeeze the jelly from your eyes!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Actually, it's quite good on toast.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Back! Back, beast! Back! I warn ya!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Gasping}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Right.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Roaring}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Shouting}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Roaring}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Whispers} This is the part where you run away.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Gasping}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Laughs}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Laughing} And stay out!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;quot;Wanted. Fairy tale creatures.&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Sighs}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Man's voice} All right. This one's full.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Take it away!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Gasps}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Move it along. Come on! Get up!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Next!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Give me that! Your fiying days are over.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
That's 20 pieces of silver for the witch. Next!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Get up! Come on!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Twenty pieces.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Thudding}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Sit down there!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Keep quiet!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Crying}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-This cage is too small.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Please, don't turn me in. I'll never be stubborn again.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I can change. Please! Give me another chance!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh, shut up.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Next!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-What have you got?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-This little wooden puppet.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I'm not a puppet. I'm a real boy.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Five shillings for the possessed toy. Take it away.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Father, please! Don't let them do this!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Help me!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Next! What have you got?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Well, I've got a talking donkey.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Grunts}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Right. Well, that's good for ten shillings, if you can prove it.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh, go ahead, little fella.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Well?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh, oh, he's just - - He's just a little nervous.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
He's really quite a chatterbox. Talk, you boneheaded dolt - -&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-That's it. I've heard enough. Guards!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-No, no, he talks! He does. I can talk. I love to talk.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I'm the talkingest damn thing you ever saw.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Get her out of my sight.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-No, no! I swear! Oh! He can talk!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Gasps}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Hey! I can fly!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-He can fly!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-He can fly!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-He can talk!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Ha, ha! That's right, fool! Now I'm a flying, talking donkey.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
but I bet you ain't never seen a donkey fly. Ha, ha!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Oh-oh.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Grunts}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Seize him!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-After him! He's getting away!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Grunts, Gasps}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Man}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Get him! This way! Turn!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-You there. Orge!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Aye?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-By the order of Lord Farquaad I am authorised to place you both under &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
arrest and transport you to a designated..... resettlement facility.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh, really? You and what army?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Gasps, Whimpering}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Chuckles}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Can I say something to you?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Listen, you was really, really, really somethin' back here. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Incredible!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Are you talkin' to - - me? Whoa!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Yes. I was talkin' to you. Can I tell you that you that you was great &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
back here? Those guards!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
They thought they was all of that. Then you showed up, and bam! They &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
was trippin' over themselves like babes in the woods. That really made &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
me feel good to see that.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh, that's great. Really.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Man, it's good to be free.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Now, why don't you go celebrate your freedom with your own friends? &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Hmm?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-But, uh, I don't have any friends. And I'm not goin' out there by &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
myself. Hey, wait a minute! I got a great idea! I'll stick with you. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
You're mean, green, fightin' machine. Together we'll scare the spit &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
out of anybody that crosses us.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Roaring}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh, wow! That was really scary. If you don't mind me sayin', if that &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
don't work, your breath certainly will get the job done, 'cause you &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
definitely need some Tic Tacs or something, 'cause you breath stinks!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
You almost burned the hair outta my nose, just like the time - - &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Mumbling}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Than I ate some rotten berries. I had strong gases eking out of my &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
butt that day.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Why are you following me?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I'll tell you why. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
'Cause I'm all alone&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
There's no one here beside me&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
My problem's have all gone&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
There's no one to deride me&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
But you gotta have friends - - &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Stop singing! It's no wonder you don't have any friends.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Wow. Only a true friend would be that cruelly honest.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Listen, little donkey. Take a look at me. What am I?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Uh - - Really tall?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-No! I'm an ogre! You know. &amp;quot;Grab your torch and pitchforks.&amp;quot; Doesn't &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
that bother you?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Nope.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Really?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Really, really.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Man, I like you. What's you name?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Uh, Shrek.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Shrek? Well, you know what I like about you, Shrek?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
You got that kind of I-don't-care-what-nobody-thinks-of-me thing.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I like that. I respect that, Shrek. You all right. Whoo! Look at that. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Who'd want to live in place like that?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-That would be my home.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh! And it is lovely! Just beautiful. You know you are quite a &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
decorator. It's amazing what you've done with such a modest budget. I &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
like that boulder. That is a nice boulder.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I guess you don't entertain much, do you?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I like my privacy.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-You know, I do too. That's another thing we have in common. Like I &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
hate it when you got somebody in your face. You've trying to give them &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
a hint, and they won't leave. There's that awkward silence.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Can I stay with you?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Uh, what?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Can I stay with you, please?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Of course!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Really?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-No.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Please! I don't wanna go back there! You don't know what it's like to &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
be considered a freak. Well, maybe you do. But that's why we gotta &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
stick together. You gotta let me stay! Please! Please!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Okay! Okay! But one night only.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Ah! Thank you!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-What are you - - No! No!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-This is gonna be fun! We can stay up late, swappin' manly stories, &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
and in the mornin' I'm makin' waffles.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Where do, uh, I sleep?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Outside!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh, well. I guess that's cool. I mean, I don't know you, and you &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
don't know me, so I guess outside is best, you know.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Sniffles}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Here I go.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Good night.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Sighs}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I mean, I do like the outdoors. I'm a donkey. I was born outside. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I'll just be sitting by myself outside, I guess, you know. By myself, &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
outside.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I'm all alone&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
There's no one here beside me&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Bubbling}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Sighs}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Creaking}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Sighs}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I thought I told you to stay outside.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I'm outside.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Clattering}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Well, gents, it's a far cry from the farm, but what choice do we &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
have? &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-It's not home, but it'll do just fune.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-What a lovely bed.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Got ya.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Sniffs} I found some cheese.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Ow! {Grunts}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Blah! Awful stuff.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Is that you, Gorder?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-How did you know?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Enough! What are you doing in my house?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Grunts}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Hey!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Snickers}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh, no, no, no. Dead broad off the table.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Where are we supposed to put her? The bed's taken.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Huh?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Gusps}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Male voice} What?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I live in a swamp. I put up signs. I'm a terrifying orge! What do I &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
have to do get a little privacy?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Aah!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh, no. No! No!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Cackling}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-What?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Quit it.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Don't push.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Squeaking}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Lows}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- What are you doing in my swamp?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Echoing}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Swamp! Swamp! Swamp!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Gasping}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh, dear!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Whoa!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-All right, get out of here. All of you, move it! Come on! Let's go! &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Hapaya! Hapaya! Hey!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Quickly. Come on!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-No, no! No, no. Not there. Not there.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Sighs}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Hey, don't look at me. I didn't invite them.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh, gosh, no one invited us.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-What?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-We were forced to come here.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-By who?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Lord Farquaad.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-He huffed und he puffed und he...... signed an eviction notice.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Sighs}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-All right. Who knows where this Farquaad guy is?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Murmuring}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh, I do. I know where he is.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Does anyone else know where to find him? Anyone at all?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Me! Me!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Anyone?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh! Oh, pick me! Oh, I know! I know! Me, me!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Sighs}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Okay, fine. Attention, all fairy tale things. Do not get comfortable. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Your welcome is officially worn out. In fact, I'm gonna see this guy &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Farquaad right now and get you all off my land and back where you came &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
from!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Cheering}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Twittering}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh! You! You're comin' with me.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- All right, that's what I like to hear, man. Shrek and Donkey, two &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
stalwart friends, off on a whirlwind big-city adventure. I love it!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-On the road again. Sing it with me, Shrek.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Hey. Oh, oh!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I can't wait to get on the road again.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-What did I say about singing?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Can I whistle?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-No.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Can I hum it?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-All right, hum it.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Humming}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Grunts}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Whimpering}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-That's enough. He's ready to talk.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Coughing}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Laughing}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Clears throat}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Run, run, run, as fust as you can. You can't catch me. I'm the &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
gingerbread man!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-You are a monster.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I'm not the monster here. You are. You and the rest of that fairy &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
tale trash, poisoning my perfect world. Now, tell me! Where are the &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
others?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Eat me!{Grunts}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I've tried to be fair to you creatures. Now my patience has reached &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
its end! Tell me or I'll - -&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-No, no, not the buttons. Not my gumdrop buttons.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-All right then. Who's hiding them?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Okay, I'll tell you. Do you know the muffin man?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-The muffin man?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-The muffin man.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Yes, I know the muffin man, who lives on Drury Lane?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Well, she's married to the muffin man.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-The muffin man?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-The muffin man!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-She's married to the muffin man.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Door opens}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-My lord! We found it.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Then what are you waiting for? Bring it in.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Man grunting}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Gasping}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Magic mirror - - &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Don't tell him anything!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-No!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Ginerbread man whispers}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Evening. Mirror, mirror on the wall. Is this not the most perfect &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
kingdom of them all?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Well, technically you're not a king.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Uh, Thelonius.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-You were saying?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-What I mean is, you're not a king yet. But you can become one.  All &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
you have to do is marry a princess.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Go on.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Chuckles}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-So, just sit back and relax, my lord, because it's time for you to &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
meet today's eligible bachelorettes. And here they are! Bachelorette &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
number one is a mentally abused shut-in from a kingdom far, far away. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
She likes sushi and hot tubbing anytime. Her hobbies include cooking &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
and cleaning for her two evil sisters. Please welcome Cinderella.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Bachelorette number two is a cape-wearing girl from the land of &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
fancy. Although she lives with seven other men, she's not easy. Just &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
kiss her dead, frozen lips and find out what a live wire she is. Come &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
on. Give it up for Snow White!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-And last, but certainly not last, bachelorette number three is a &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
fiery redhead from a dragon-guarded castle surrounded by hot boiling &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
lava! But don't let that cool you off. She's a loaded pistol who likes &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
pina colads and getting caught in the rain. Yours for the rescuing, &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Princess Fiona!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-So will it be bachelorette number one, bachelorette number two or &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
bachelorette number three?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Two! Two!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Three! Three!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Two! Two!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Three! &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Three? One?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Shudders} Three?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
--Three! Pick number three, my lord!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Okay, okay, uh, number three!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Lord Farquaad, you've chosen Princess Fiona.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
If you like pina coladas&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
And getting caught in the rain&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Princess Fiona.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
If you're not into yoga&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-She's perfect. All I have to do is just find someone who can go - - &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-But I probably should mention the little thing that happens at night.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I'll do it.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Yes, but after sunset - -&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Silence! I will make this Princess Fiona my queen, and DuLoc will &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
finally have the perfect king!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Captain, assemble your finest men. We're going to have a tournament.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-But that's it. That's it right there. That's DuLoc. I told ya I'd &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
find it.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-So, that must be Lord Farquaad's castle.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Uh-huh. That's the place.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Do you think maybe he's compensating for something?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Laughs}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Groans}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Hey, wait. Wait up, Shrek.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Hurry, darling. We're late. Hurry.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Hey, you!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Screams}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Wait a second. Look, I'm not gonna eat you. I just - - I just - -&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Whimpering}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Sighs}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Whimpering, Groans}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Turnstile clatters}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Chuckles}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Sighs}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-It's quiet. Too quiet.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Creaking}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Where is everybody?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Hey, look at this!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Clattering, whirring, clicking}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Welcome to DuLoc such a perfect town&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Here we have some rules&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Let us lay them down&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Don't make waves, stay in line&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
And we'll get along fine&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
DuLoc is perfect place&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Please keep off of the grass&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Shine your shoes, wipe your... face&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
DuLoc is, DuLoc is&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
DuLoc is perfect ...... place&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Camera shutter clicks&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Whirring}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Wow! Let's do that again!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-No. No. No, no, no! No.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Trumpet fanfare}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Crowd cheering}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Brave knights.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-You are the best and brightest in all the land.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Today one of you shall prove himself - -&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-All right. You're going the right way for a smacked bottom.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Sorry about that.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Cheering}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-That champion shall have the honor - - no, no - - the privilege to go &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
forth and rescue the lovely Princess Fiona from the fiery keep of the &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
dragon. If for any reason the winner is unsuccessful, the first &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
runner-up will take his place and so on and so forth. Some of you mae &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
die, but it's a sacrifice I am willing to make.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Cheering}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Let the tournament begin!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Gasps}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-What is that?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Gasping}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-It's hideous!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Ah, that's not very nice. It's just a donkey.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Indeed. Knights, new plan! The one who kills the orge will be named &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
champion! Have it him!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Get him!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh, hey! Now come on! Hang on now.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Go ahead! Get him!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Can't we just settle this over a pint?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Kill the beast!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-No? All right then. Come on!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I don't give a damn about my reputation&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
You're living in the past &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
It's a new generation&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Damn!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Whinnying}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
A girl can do what she wants to do&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
And that's what I'm gonna do&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
And I don't give a damn about my bad reputation&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Not me&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Me, me, me&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Hey, Shrek, tag me! Tag me!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
And I don't give a damn about my bad reputation&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Never said I wanted to improve my station&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Ah!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Laughs}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
And I'm always feelin' good when I'm having fun&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Yeah!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
And I don't have to please no one&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-The chair! Give him the chair!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
And I don't give a damn about my bad reputation&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Not me&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Me, me, me&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Not me, not me&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Bell dings}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Cheering}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Laughs}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh, yeah! Ah! Ah! Thank you! Thank you very much! I'm here till &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Thursday. Try the veal! Ha, ha!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Shrek laughs}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Crowd gasping, murmuring}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Shall I give the order, sir?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-No, I have a better idea. People of DuLoc, I give you our champion!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-What?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Congratulations, orge. You're won the honor of embarking on a great &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
and noble quest.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Quest? I'm already in a quest, a quest to get my swamp back.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Your swamp?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Yeah, my swamp! Where you dumped those tale creatures!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Crowd murmuring}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Indeed. All right, orge. I'll make you a deal. Go on this quest for &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
me, and I'll give you your swamp back.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Exactly the way it was?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Down to the last slime-covered toadstool.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-And the squatters?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-As good as gone.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-What kind of quest?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Let me get this straight. You're gonna go fight a dragon and rescue a &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
princess just so Farquaad will give you back a swamp which you only &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
don't have because he filled it full of freaks in the first place.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Is that about right?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Maybe there's a good reason donkeys shouldn't talk.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I don't get it. Why don't you just pull some of that orge stuff on &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
him? Throttle him, lay siege to his fortress, grinds his bones to make &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
your bread, the whole orge trip.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh, I know what. Maybe I could have decapitated an entire village and &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
put their heads on a pike, gotten a knife, cut open their spleen and &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
drink their fluids. Does that sound good to you?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Uh, no, not really, no.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-For your information, there's a lot more to orges than people think.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Example?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Example? Okay, um, orges are like onions.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-{Sniffs} They stink?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Yes - - No!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-They make you cry?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-No!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-You leave them in the sun, they get all brown, start sproutin' little &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
white hairs.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-No! Layers! Onions have layers. Orges have layers! Onions have &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
layers. You get it? We both have layers. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Sighs}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh, you both have layers. Oh. {Sniffs} You know, not everybody likes &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
onions. Cake! Everybody loves cakes! Cakes have layers.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I don't care... what everyone likes. Orges are not like cakes.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-You know what else everybody likes? Parfaits. Have you ever met a &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
person, you say, &amp;quot;Let's get some parfait,&amp;quot; they say, &amp;quot;No, I don't like &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
no parfait&amp;quot;? Parfaits are delicious.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-No! You dense, irritating, miniature beast of burden! Orges are like &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
onions! And of story. Bye-bye. See ya later.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Parfaits may be the most delicious thing on the whole damn planet.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-You know, I think I preferred your humming. Do you have a tissure or &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
something? I'm making a mess. Just the word parfait make me start &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
slobbering.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I'm on my way from misery to happiness today&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Uh-huh,uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I'm on my way from misery to happiness today&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Uh-huh,uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
And everything that you receive up yonder&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Is what you give to me the day I wander&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I'm on my way &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I'm on my way &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I'm on my way &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Ohh! Shrek! Did you do that?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-You gotta warn somebody before you just crack one off. My mouth was &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
open. Believe me, Donkey, if it was me, you'd be dead. {Sniffs} It's &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
brimstone We must be getting close.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Yeah, right, brimstone. Don't be talking about it's the brimstone. I &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
know what I smell. It wasn't no brimstone. It didn't come off no stone &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
neither.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Rumbling}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Sure, it's big enough, but look at the location.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Laughing}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Uh, Shrek? Uh, remember when you said orges have layers?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh, aye.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Well, I have a bit of a confession to make. Donkeys don't have &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
layers. We wear our fear right out there on our sleeves.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Wait a second.  Donkeys don't have sleeves.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-You know what I mean.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-You can't tell me you're afraid of heights.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I'm just a little uncomfortable about being on a rickety bridge over &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
a boiling like of lava!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Come on, Donkey. I'm right here beside ya, okay? For emotional &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
support., we'll just tackle this thing together one little baby step &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
at a time.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Really?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Really, really.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Okay, that makes me feel so much better.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Just keep moving. And don't look  down.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Okay, don't look  down. Don't look  down. Don't look  down. Keep on &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
moving. Don't look  down.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Gasps}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Shrek! I'm lookin' down! Oh, God, I can't do this! Just let me off, &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
please! &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-But you're already halfway.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-But I know that half is safe!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Okay, fine. I don't have time for this. You go back.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Shrek, no! Wait!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Just, Donkey - - Let's have a dance then, shall me?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Don't do that!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh, I'm sorry. Do what?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh, this?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Yes, that!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Yes? Yes, do it. Okay.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Screams}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-No, Shrek! No! Stop it!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-You said do it! I'm doin' it.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. Shrek, I'm gonna die. Oh!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-That'll do, Donkey. That'll do.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Cool.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-So where is this fire-breathing pain-in-the-neck anyway?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Inside, waiting for us to rescue her.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Chuckles}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I was talkin' about the dragon, Shrek.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Water dripping, wind howling}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-You afraid?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-No.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-But - -&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- Shh.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh, good. Me neither.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Gasps}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-'Cause there's nothin' wrong with bein' afraid. Fear's a sensible &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
response to an unfamiliar situation. Unfamiliar dangerous situation, I &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
might add. With a dragon that breathes fire and eats knights and &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
breathes fire, it sure doesn't mean you're a coward if you're a little &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
scared. I sure as heck ain't no coward. I know that.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Gasps}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Donkey, two things, okay? Shut ... up. Now go over there and see if &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
you can find any stairs.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Stairs? I thought we was lookin' for the princess.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-The princess will be up the stairs in the highest room in the tallest &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
tower.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-What makes you think she'll be there?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I read it in a book once.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Cool. You handle the dragon. I'll handle the stairs. I'll find those &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
stairs. I'll whip their butt too. Those stairs won't know which way &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
they're goin'.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Creacing}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I'm gonna take drastic steps. Kick it to the curb. Don't mess with &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
me. I'm the stair master. I've mastered the stairs. I wish I had a &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
step right here. I'd step all over it.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Well, at least we know where the princess is, but where's the - - &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Dragon!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Screams}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Gasps}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Roars}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Donkey, look out!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Screams}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Whimpering}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Got ya!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Roars}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Gasps}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Shouts}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Screaming}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Gasps}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh! Aah! Aah!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Gasping}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Crowls}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-No. Oh, no, No!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Screams}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh, what large teeth you have.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Crowls}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I mean white, sparkling teeth. I know you probably hear this all time &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
from your food, but you must bleach, 'cause that is one dazzling smile &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
you got  there. Do I detect a hint of minty freshness? And you know &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
what else? You're - - You're a girl dragon! Oh, sure! I mean, of &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
course you're a girl dragon. You're just reeking of feminine beauty. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
What's the matter with you? You got something in your eye? Ohh. Oh. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Oh. Man, I'd really love to stay, but you know, I'm, uh - - &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
(Coughs)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I'm an asthmatic, and I don't know if it'd work out if you're gonna &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
blow smoke rings. Shrek!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Gasps}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Whimpering}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-No! Shrek! Shrek! Shrek!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Groans, Sighs}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Vocalizing}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh! Oh!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Wake up!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-What?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Are you Princess Fiona?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I am, awaiting a knight so bold as to rescue me.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh, that's nice. Now let's go!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-But wait, Sir Knight. This be-ith our first meeting. Should it not be &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
a wonderful, romantic moment?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Yeah, sorry, lady. There's no time.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Hey, wait. What are you doing? You should sweep me off my feet out &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
yonder window and down a rope onto your valiant steed.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-You've had a lot of time to plan this, haven't you?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Mm-hmm.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Screams, grunts}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-But we have to savor this moment! You could recite an epic poem for &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
me. A ballad? A sonnet! A limerick? Or something!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I don't think so.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Can I at least know the name of my champion?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Um, Shrek.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Sir Shrek.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Cleans throat}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I pray that you take this favor as a token of my gratitude.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Thanks!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Roaring}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-You didn't slay the dragon?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-It's on my to-do list. Now come on!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Screams}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-But this isn't right! You were meant to charge in, sword drawn, &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
banner flying. That's what all the other knights did.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Yeah, right before they burst into flame.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-That's not the point. Oh!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Wait. Where are you going? The next's over there.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Well, I have to save my ass.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-What kind of knight are you?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-One of a kind.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Slow down. Slow down, baby, please. I believe it's healthy to get to &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
know someone over a long perriod of time. Just call me old-fashioned. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Laughs}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I don't want to rush into a physical relationship. I'm not &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
emotionally ready for a commitment of, uh, this - -  Magnitude really &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
is the word I'm looking for. Magnitude- - Hey, that is unwanted &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
physical contact. Hey, what are you doing? Okay, okay. Let's just back &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
up a little and take this one step at a time. We really should get to &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
know each other first as friends or pen pals. I'm on the road a lot, &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
but I just love receiving cards - -  I'd really love to stay, but - - &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Don't do that! That's my tail! That's my personal tail. You're gonna &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
tear it off. I don't give permission - - What are you gonna do with &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
that? Hey, now. No way. No! No! No, no! No. No, no, no. No! Oh!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Growls}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Roaring}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Gasps}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Hi, Princess!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-It talks!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Yeah, it's getting him to shut up that's the trick.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Screams}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Screaming}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Thuds}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Groans}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Roars}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Roaring}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Okay, you two, heard for the exit! I'll take care of the dragon.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Fchoing}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Run!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Gasping}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Screaming}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Roaring}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Screams}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Roars}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Panting, sighs}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Whimpers}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Roars}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-You did it!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-You rescued me! You're amazing. You're - - You're wonderful. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
You're... a little unorthodox I'll admit. But they deed is great, and &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
thine heart is pure. I am eternally in your debt. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Clears throat}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-And where would a brave knight be without his noble steed?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I hope you heard that. She called me a noble steed. She think I'm a &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
steed.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-The battle is won. You may remove your helmet, good Sir Knight.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Uh, no.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Why not?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I have helmet hair.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Please. I would'st look upon the face of my rescuer.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-No, no, you wouldn't - - 'st.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-But how will you kiss me?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-What? That wasn't in the job description.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Maybe it's a perk.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-No, it's destiny. Oh, you must know how it goes. A princess locked in &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
a tower and beset by a dragon is rescued by a brave knight, and then &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
they share true love's first kiss.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Hmm? With Shrek? You think- - Wait. Wait. You think that Shrek is you &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
true love?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Well, yes.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Laughing}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-You think Shrek is your true love!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-What is so funny?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Let's just say I'm not your tipe, okay?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Of course, you are. You're my rescuer. Now - - Now remove your &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
helmet.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Look. I really don't think this is a good idea.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Just take off the helmet.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I'm not going to.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Take ot off.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-No!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Now!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Okay! Easy. As you command. Your Highness.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-You- - You're a- - an orge.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh, you were expecting Prince Charming.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Well, yes, actually. Oh, no. This is all wrong. You're not supposed &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
to be an orge.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Sighs}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Princess, I was sent to rescue you by Lord Farquaad, okay? He is the &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
one who wants to marry you.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Then why didn't he come rescue me?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Good question. You should ask him that when we get there.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-But I have to be rescued by my true love, not by some prge and his- - &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
his pet.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-So much for noble steed.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-You're not making my job any easier.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I'm sorry, but your job is not my problem. You can tell Lord Farquaad &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
that if he wants to rescue me properly, I'll be waiting for him right &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
here.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Hey! I'm no one's messenger boy, all right? I'm a delivery boy.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-You wouldn't dare. Put me down!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Ya comin', Donkey?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I'm right behind ya.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Put me down, or you will suffer the consequences! This is not &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
dignified! Put me down!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Okay, so here's another question. Say there's a woman that digs you, &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
right, but you don't really like her that way. How do you let her down &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
real easy so her feelings aren't hurt, but you don't get burned to a &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
crisp and eaten?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-You just tell her she's not your true love. Everyone knowest what &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
happens when you find your - -  Hey!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Sighs}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-The sooner we get to DuLoc the better.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-You're gonna love it there, Princess. It's beautiful!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-And what of my groom-to-be? Lord Farquaad? What's he like?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Let me put it this way, Princess. Men of Farquaad's stature are in &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
short supply.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Laughs}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I don't know. There are those who think little of him.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Stop it. Stop it, both of you. You're just jealous you can never &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
measure up to a great ruler like Lord Farquaad.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Yeah, well, maybe you're right, Princess. But I'll let you do the &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;quot;measuring&amp;quot; when you see him tomorrow.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Tomorrow? It'll take that long? Shouldn't we stop to make camp?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-No, that'll take longer. We can keep going.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-But there's robbers in the woods.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Whoa! Time out, Shrek! Camping's starting to sound good.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Hey, come on. I'm scarier than anything we're going to see in this &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
forest.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I need to find somewhere to camp now!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Birds wings fluttering}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Grunting}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Hey! Over here.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Shrek, we can do better than that. I don't think this is fit for a &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
princess.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-No, no, it's perfect. It just needs a few homey touches.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Homey touches? Like what?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Crashing}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-A door? Well, gentlemen, I bid thee good night.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-You want me to read you a bedtime story? I will.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I said good night!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Shrek, What are you doing?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Laughs}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I just- - You know - - Oh, come on. I was just kidding.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Fire cracking}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-And, uh, that one, that's Throwback, the only orge to ever spit over &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
three wheat fields. Right. Yeah.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Hey, can you tell my future from these stars?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-The stars don't tell the future, Donkey. They tell stories. Look, &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
there's Bloodnut, the Flatulent. You can guess what he's famous for.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I know you're making this up.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-No, look. There he is,  and there's the group of hunters running away &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
from his stench.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-That ain't nothin' but a bunch of little dots.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-You know, Donkey, sometimes things are more than they appear. Hmm? &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Forget it.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Sighs}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Hey, Shrek, what we gonna do when we get our swamp anyway?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Our swamp?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-You know, when we're through rescuing the princess.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-We? Donkey, there's no &amp;quot;we&amp;quot;. There's no &amp;quot;our&amp;quot;. There's just me and my &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
swamp. The first thing I'm gonna do is build a ten-foot wall arond my &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
land.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-You cut me deep, Shrek. You cut me real deep just now. You know what &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I think? I think this whole wall thing is just a way to keep somebody &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
out.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-No, do ya think?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Are you hidin' something?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Never mind, Donkey.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh, this is another one of those onion things, isn't it?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-No, this is one of those drop-it and leave-it alone things.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Why don't you want to talk about it?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Why do you want to talk about it?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Why are you blocking?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I'm not blocking.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh, yes, you are.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Donkey, I'm warning you.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Who you trying to keep out?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Everyone! Okay?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh, now we're gettin' somewhere.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh! For the love of Pete!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-What's your problem? What you got against the whole world anyway?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Look, I'm not the one with the problem, okay? It's the world that &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
seems to have a problem with me. People take one look at me and go. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;quot;Aah! Help! Run! A big, stupid, ugly orge!&amp;quot; They judge me before they &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
even know me. That's why I'm better off alone.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-You know what? When we met, I didn't think you was just a big, &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
stupid, ugly orge.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Yeah, I know.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-So, uh, are there any donkeys up there?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Well, there's, um, Gabby, the Small and Annoying.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Okay, okay, I see it now. The big shiny one, right there. That one &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
there?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-That's the moon.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh, okay.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Orchestra}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Dulcimer}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Again, show me again. Mirror, mirror, show her to me. Show me the &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
princess.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Hmph.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Ah. Perfect.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Inhales}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Snoring}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Vocalizing}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Whistling}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Sizzling}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Sniffs, yawns}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Mmm, yeah, you know I like it like that.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
--Come on, baby. I said I like it.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Donkey, wake up.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Huh? What?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Wake up.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-What?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Good morning. Hm, how do you like your eggs?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Good morning, Princess!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-What's all this about?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-You know, we kind of got off to a bad start yesterday. I wanted to &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
make it up to you. I mean, after all, you did rescue me.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Uh, thanks.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Sniffs}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Well, eat up. We've got a big day ahead of us.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Belches}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Shrek!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-What? It's a compliment. Better out than in, I always say. {Laughs}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Well, it's no way to behave in front of a princess.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Belches}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Thanks.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-She's as nasty as you are.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-{Laughs} You know, you're not exactly what I expected.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Well, maybe you shouldn't judge people before you get to know them.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Vocalizing}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-La liberte! Hey!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Princess!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Laughs}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-What are you doing?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Be still, mon cherie, for I am you savior! And I am rescuing you from &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
this green - -&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Kissing sounds}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-beast.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Hey!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-That's my princess! Go find you own!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Please, monster! Can't you see I'm a little busy here?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Look, pal, I don't know who you think you are!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh! Of couse! Oh, how rude. Please let me introduse myself. Oh, Merry &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Men. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Laughs}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Accordion}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Ta, dah, dah, dah, whoo.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I steal from the rich and give to the needy.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
He takes a wee percentage, &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
But I'm not greedy. I rescue pretty damsels&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Man, I'm good&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
What a guy, Monsieur Hood&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Break it down&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I like an honest fight&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
and a saucy little maid&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
What he's basically saying&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
is he likes to get - - &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Paid&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
So&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
When an orge in the bush&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
grabs a lady by the tush&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
That's bad&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
That's bad&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
When a beauty's with a beast&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
it makes me awfully mad&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
He's mad&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
He's really, really mad&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I'll take my blade and&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
ram it through your heart&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Keep your eyes on me, boys&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
'cause I'm about to start&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Grunts, Groans}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Karate Yell}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Merry Men Gasping}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Panting}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Man, that was annoying!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh, you little- - &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Karate Yell}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Accordion}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Shouting, groaning}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Chuckles}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Uh, shall we?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Hold the phone.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Grunts}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Oh! Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on now. Where did that come from?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-What?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-That! Back there. That was amazing! Where did you learn that?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Well - - {Chuckles} When one lives alone, uh, one has to learn these &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
things in case there's a - - There's an arrow in your butt!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-What? Oh, would you look at that?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh, no. This is all my fault. I'm so sorry.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Why? What's wrong?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Shrek's hurt.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Shrek's hurt. Shrek's hurt? Oh, no, Shrek's gonna die.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Donkey, I'm okay.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-You can't do this to me, Shrek. I'm too young for you to die. Keep &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
you legs elevated. Turn your head and cough. Does anyone know the &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Heimlich?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Donkey! Calm down. If you want to help Shrek, run into the woods and &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
find me a blue flower with red thorns.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Blue flower, red thorns. Okay, I'm on it. Blue flower, red thorns. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Don't die Shrek. If you see a long tunnel, stay away from the light!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-{Both} Donkey!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh, yeah. Right. Blue flower, red thorns.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-What are the flowers for?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-For getting rid of Donkey.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Ah.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Now you hold still, and I'll yank this thing out.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Ow! Hey! Easy with the yankin'.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I'm sorry, but it has to come out.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-No, it's tender.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Now, hold on.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-What you're doing is the opposite of help.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Don't move.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Look, time out.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Would you - - &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Grunts}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Okay. What do you propose we do?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
thorns. This would be so much easier if I wasn't color-blind! Blue &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
flower, red thorns.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Ow!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Hold on, Shrek! I'm comin'!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Ow! Not good.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Okay. Okay. I can nearly see the head.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Grunts}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-It's just about - - &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Ow! Ohh!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Ahem.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Nothing happend. We were just, uh - - &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Look, if you wanted to be alone, all you had to do was ask. Okay?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh, come on! That's the last thing on my mind. The princess here was &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
just- - Ugh! &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Ow!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Hey, what's that?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Nervous chickle}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-That's- - Is that blood?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Sighs}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Bird chirping}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Grunts}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
My beloved monster and me&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
We go everywhere together&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Wearin' a raincoat&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
that has four sleeves&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Gets us through all kinds of weather&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Aah!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
She will always be the only thing&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
That comes between me and the awful sting&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
That comes from living in a world&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
that's so damn mean&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Croaks}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Oh, oh-oh-oh-oh&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Hey!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
La-la, la-la, la-la-la-la&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Both laughing}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
La-la, la-la, la-la&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-There it is, Princess. Your future awaits you.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-That's DuLoc?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Yeah, I know. You know, Shrek thinks Lord Farquaad's compensating for &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
something,  which I think means he has a really - - Ow!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Um, I, uh- -  I guess we better move on.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Sure. But, Shrek? I'm - - I'm worried about Donkey.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Blubbering}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-What?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I mean, look at him. He doesn't look so good. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-What are you talking about? I'm fine.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-That's what they always say, and then next thing you know, you're on &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
your back. Dead.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-You know, she's right. You look awful. Do you want to sit down?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Uh, you know, I'll make you some tea.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I didn't want to say nothin', but I got this twinge in my neck, and &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
when I turn my head like this, look, &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Bones crunch}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Ow! See?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Who's hungry? I'll find us some dinner.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I'll get the firewood.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Hey, where you goin'? Oh, man, I can't feel my toes! I don't have any &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
toes! I think I need a hug.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Mmm. This is good. This is really good. What is this?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Uh, weedrat. Rotisserie style.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-No kidding. Well, this is delicious.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Well, they're also great in stews. Now, I don't mean to brag, but I &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
make a mean weedrat stew.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Chuckling}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Sighs}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I guess I'll be dining a little differently tomorrow night.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Gulps}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Maybe you can come visit me in the swamp sometime. I'll cook all kind &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
of stuff for you. Swamp toad soup, fish eye tartare - - you name it.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Chuckles}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I'd like that.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Slurps, laughs}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
See the pyramids along the Nile&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Um, Princess?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Watch the sunrise from a tropic isle&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Yes, Shrek?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I, um, I was wondering.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Just remember, darling all the while&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Are you- - &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
You belong to me&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Sighs} &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Are you gonna eat that?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Chuckles}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Man, isn't this romantic? Just look at that sunset.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Sunset?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh, no! I mean, it's late. I-It's very late.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-What?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Wait a minute. I see what's goin' on here. You're afraid of the dark, &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
aren't you?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Yes! Yes, that's it. I'm terrified. You know, I'd better go inside.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Don't feel bad, Princess. I used to be afraid of the dark, too, until &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- - Hey, no, wait. I'm still afraid of the dark.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Shrek sighs}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
 -Good night.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
 -Good night.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Door creaks}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Ohh! Now I really see what's goin' on here.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh, what are you talkin' about?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I don't even wanna hear it. Look, I'm an animal, and I got instincts. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
And I know you two were diggin' on each other. I could feel it.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-You're crazy. I'm just bringing her back to Farquaad.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh, come on, Shrek. Wake up and smell the pheromones. Just go on in &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
and tell her how you feel.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I- - There's nothing to tell. Besides, even if I did tell her that, &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
well, you know - - and I'm not sayin' I do 'cause I don't - - she's a &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
princess, and I'm - - &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-An orge?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Yeah. An orge.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Hey, where you goin'?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-To get... move firewood.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Sighs} &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Princess? Princess Fiona? Princess, where are you?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Wings fluttering}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Princess?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Creaking}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Gasps}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-It's very spooky in here. I ain't playing no games.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Screams}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Aah!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh, no!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-No, help!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Shh!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Shrek! Shrek! Shrek!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-No, it's okay. It's okay.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-What did you do with the princess?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Donkey, I'm the princess.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Aah!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-It's me, in this body.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh, my God! You ate the princess. Can you hear me?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Donkey!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Listen, keep breathing! I'll get you out of there!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-No!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Shrek! Shrek! Shrek!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Shh.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Shrek!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-This is me.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Muffled mumbling}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Princess? What happened to you? You're, uh, uh, uh, different.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I'm ugly, okay?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Well, yeah! Was it something you ate? 'Cause I told Shrek those rats &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
was a bad idea. You are what you eat, I said. Now - - &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-No.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I - - I've been this way as long as I can remember.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-What do you mean? Look, I ain't never seen you like this before.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-It's only happens when sun goes down.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;quot;By night one way, by day another. This shall be the norm... until you &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
find true love's first kiss... and then take love's true form.&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Ah, that's beautiful. I didn't know you wrote poetry.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-It's a spell.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Sighs} &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-When I was a little girl, a witch cast a spell on me. Every night I &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
become this. This horrible, ugly beast! I was placed in a tower to &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
await the day my true love would rescue me. That's why I have to marry &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Lord Farquaad tomorrow before the sun sets and he sees me like this.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Sobs}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-All right, all right. Calm down. Look, it's not that bad. You're not &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
that ugly. Well, I ain't gonna lie. You are ugly. But you only look &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
like this at night. Shrek's ugly 24-7.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-But Donkey, I'm a princess, and this is not how a princess is meant &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
to look.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Princess, how 'bout if you don't marry Farquaad?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I have to.  Only my true love's kiss can break the spell.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-But, you know, um, you're kind of an orge, and Shrek - - well, you &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
got a lot in common.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Shrek?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Princess, I - - Uh, how's it going, first of all? Good? Um, good for &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
me too. I'm okay. I saw this flower and thought of you because it's &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
pretty and - - well, I don't really like it, but I thought you might &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
like it 'cause you're pretty. But I like you anyway. I'd - - uh, uh - &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Sighs}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I'm in trouble. Okay, here we go.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I can't just marry whoever I want. Take a good look at me, Donkey. I &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
mean, really, who can ever love a beast so hideous and ugly? &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;quot;Princess&amp;quot; and &amp;quot;ugly&amp;quot; don't go together. That's why I can't stay here &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
with Shrek.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Gasps}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-My only chance to live happily ever after is to marry my true love.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Deep sigh}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Don't you see, Donkey? That's just how it has to be. It's the only &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
way to break the spell.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-You at least gotta tell Shrek the truth.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-No! You can't breathe a word. No one must ever know.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-What's the point of being able to talk if you gotta keep secrets?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Promise you won't tell. Promise!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-All right, all right. I won't tell him. But you should. I just know &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
before this is over, I'm gonna need a whole lot of serious therapy.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Look at my eye twitchin'.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Door opens}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Snoring}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I tell him, I tell him not. I tell him, I tell him not. I tell him. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Shrek! Shrek, there's something I want - - &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Snoring}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Shrek. Are you all right?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Perfect! Never been better.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I - - I don't - - There's something I have to tell you.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-You don't have to tell me anything, Princess. I heard enough last &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
night.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-You heard what I said?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Every word.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I thought you'd understand.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh, I undersatnd. Like you said, &amp;quot;Who could love a hideous, ugly &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
beast?&amp;quot; &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-But I thought that wouldn't matter to you.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Yeah? Well, it does.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Gasps, sighs}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Ah, right on time.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Horse whinnies}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Princess, I've brought you a little something.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Fanfare}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Yawns}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-What'd I miss? What'd I miss?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Muffled}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Who said that? Couldn't have been a donkey.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Princess Fiona.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-As promised. Now hand it over.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Very well, orge. The deed to your swamp, cleared out, as agreed.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Take it and go before I change my mind.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Forgive me, Princess, for startling you, but you startled me, for I &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
have never seen such a radiant beauty before. I'm Lord Farquaad.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Lord Farquaad? Oh, no, no.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Snaps fingers}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Forgive me, my lord, for I was just saying a short... farewell.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh, that is so sweet. You don't have to waste good manners on the &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
orge. It's not like it has feelings.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-No, you're right. It doesn't.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Princess Fiona, beautiful, fair, flawerss Fiona. I ask your hand in &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
marriage.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Gasps}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Will you be the perfect bride for the perfect groom?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Lord Farquaad, I accept. Nothing would make - - &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Excellent! I'll start the plans, for tomorrow we wed!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-No! I mean, uh, why wait? Let's get married today before the sun &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
sets.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh, anxious, are you? You're right. The sooner, the better. There's &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
so much to do! Threre's the caterer, the cake, the band, the guest &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
list. Captain, round up some guests!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Fare-thee-well, orge.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Shrek, what are you doing? You're letting her get away.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Yeah? So what?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Shrek, there's something about her you don't know. Look, I talked to &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
her last night, She's - - &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I know you talked to her last night. You're great pals, aren't ya? &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Now, if you two are such good friends, why don't you follow her home?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Shrek, I - - I wanna go with you.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I told you, didn't I? You're not coming home with me. I live alone! &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
My swamp! Me! Nobody else! Understand? Nobody! Especially useless, &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
pathetic, annoying, talking donkeys!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-But I thought - - &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Yeah. You know what? You tought wrong!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Shrek.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I heard there was a secret chord&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
That David played and it pleased the Lord&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
But you don't really care for music, do ya&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
It goes like this the fourth, the fifth&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The minor fall the major lift&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The baffled king composing hallelujah&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Hallelujah,  hallelujah&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Baby, I've been here before&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I know this room I've walked this floor&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I used to live alone before I knew you&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I've seen your flag on the marble arch&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
But love is not a victory march&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Hallelujah,  hallelujah&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
And all I ever learned from love&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Is how to shoot at someone&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Who outdrew you&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Moaning}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
And it's not a cry you can hear at night&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
It's not somebody who's seen the light&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Moaning}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Hallelujah,  hallelujah&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Thumping sound}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Donkey?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Grunts}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-What are you doing?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I would think, of all people, you would recognize a wall when you see &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
one.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Well, yeah. But the wall's supposed to go around my swamp, not &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
through it.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-It is around your half. See that's your half, and this is my half.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh! Your half. Hmm.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Yes, my half. I helped rescue the princess. I did half the work. I &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
get half the booty. Now hand me that big old rock, the one that looks &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
like your head.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Back off!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-No, you back off.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-This is my swamp!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Our swamp.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Let go, Donkey!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-You let go.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Stubborn jackass!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Smelly orge.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Fine!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Hey, hey, come back here. I'm not through with you yet.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Well, I'm through with you.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Uh-uh. You know, with you it's always, &amp;quot;Me, me, me!&amp;quot; Well, guess &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
what! Now it's my turn! So you just shut up and pay attention! You are &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
mean to me. You insult me and you don't appreciate anything that I do! &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
You're always pushing me around or pushing me away.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh, yeah? Well, if I treated you so bad, how come you came back?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Because that's what friends do! They forgive each other!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh, yeah. You're right, Donkey. I forgive you... for stabbin' me in &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
the back!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Ohh! You're so wrapped up in layers, onion boy, you're afraid of your &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
own feelings.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Go away!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-There you are , doing it again just like you did to Fiona. All she &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
ever do was like you, maybe even love you.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Love me? She said I was ugly, a hideous creature. I heard the two of &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
you talking. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-She wasn't talkin' about you. She was talkin' about, uh, somebody &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
else.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-She wasn't talking about me? Well, then who was she talking about?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Uh-uh, no way. I ain't saying anything. You don't wanna listen to me. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Right? Right?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Donkey!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-No!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Okay, look. I'm sorry, all right?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Sighs}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I'm sorry. I guess I am just a big, stupid, ugly orge. Can you &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
forgive me?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Hey, that's what friends are for, right?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Right. Friends?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Friends.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-So, um, what did Fiona say about me?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-What are you asking me for? Why don't you just go ask her?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-The wedding! We'll never make it in time.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Ha-ha-ha! Never fear, for where, there's a will, there's a way and I &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
have a way.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Whistles}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Donkey?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I guess it's just my animal magnetism.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Laughing}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Aw, come here, you.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-All right, all right.Don't get all slobbery. No one likes a kiss ass. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
All right, hop on and hold on tight. I haven't had a chance to install &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
the seat belts yet.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Whoo!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Bells tolling}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{All gasping}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-People of DuLoc, we gather here today to bear witnss to the union....&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Um-&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-of our new king - -&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Excuse me. Could we just skip ahead to the &amp;quot;I do's&amp;quot;?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Chuckling}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Go on.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Go ahead, HAVE SOME FUN. If we need you, I'll whistle. How about &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
that? Shrek, wait, wait! Wait a minute! You wanna do this right, don't &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
you?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-What are you talking about?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-There's a line you gotta wait for. The preacher's gonna say, &amp;quot;Speak &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
now or forever hold your peace.&amp;quot; That's when you say, &amp;quot;I object!&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I don't have time for this!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Hey, wait. What are you doing? Listen to me! Look, you love this &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
woman, don't you?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Yes.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-You wanna hold her?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Yes.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Please her?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Yes!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Then you got to, got to try a little tenderness. The chicks love that &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
romantic crap!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-All right! Cut it out. When does this guy say the line?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-We gotta check it out.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-And so, by the power vested in me, &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-What do you see?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-The whole town's in there.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I now pronounce you husband and wife,&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-They're at the altar.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-king and queen.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Mother Fletcher! He already said it.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh, for the love of Pete!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Grunts}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I object!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Shrek?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Gasps}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh, now what does he want?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Hi, everyone. Havin' a good time, are ya? I love DuLoc, first at all. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Very clean.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-What are you doing here?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Really, it's rude enough being alive when no one wants you, but &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
showing up uninvited to a wedding - -&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Fiona! I need to talk to you.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh, now you wanna talk? It's a little late for that, so if you'll &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
excuse me - - &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-But you can't marry him.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-And why not?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Because- - Because he's just marring you so he can be king.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Outrageous! Fiona, don't listen to him.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-He's not your true love.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-And what do you know about true love?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Well, I - - Uh - - I mean - - &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh, this is precious. The orge has fallen in love with the princess! &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Oh, good Lord.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Crowd laughting}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-An orge and a princess!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Shrek, is this true?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Who cares? It's preposterous! Fiona, my love, we're but a kiss away &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
from our &amp;quot;happily ever after.&amp;quot; Now kiss me! Mmmmm!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-&amp;quot;By night one way, by day another.&amp;quot; I wanted to show you before.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Whimpers}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Crown gasping}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Well, uh, that explains a lot.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Ugh! It's disgusting! Guards! Guards! I order you to get that out of &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
my sight now! Get them! Get them both!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-No, no!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Shrek!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-This hocus-pocus alters nothing. This marriage is binding, and that &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
makes me king! See? See?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-No, let go of me! Shrek!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-No!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Don't just stand there, you morons.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Get out of my way! Fiona! Arrgh! &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I'll make you regret the day we met. I'll see you drawn and &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
quartered!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-You'll beg for death to save you!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-No, Shrek!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-And as for you, my wife,&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Fiona!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I'll have you locked back in that tower for the rest of your days!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I'm king!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Whistles}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I will have order! I will have perfection! I will have - - Aaaah!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Aah!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-All right. Nobody move. I got a dragon here, and I'm not afraid to &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
use it.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Roars}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I'm a donkey on the edge!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Belches}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Celebrity marriages. They never last, do they?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Cheering}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Go ahead, Shrek.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Uh, Fiona?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Yes, Shrek?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I - - I love you.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Really?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Really, really.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- I love you too.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Aawww!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-&amp;quot;Until you find true love's first kiss and then take love's true &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
form.&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-&amp;quot;Take love's true form. Take love's true form.&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Fiona? Fiona. Are you all right?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Well, yes. But I don't understand. I'm supposed to be beautiful.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-But you ARE beautiful.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Chuckles}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I was hoping this would be a happy ending.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I thought love was only true in fairy tales&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Oy!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Meant for someone else but not for me&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Love was out to get me&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
That's the way it seemed&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Disappointment haunted all my dreams&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
And then I saw her face&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Now I'm a believer and not a trace&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Of doubt in my mind&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I'm in love&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Ooh-aah&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I'm a believer I couldn't leave her&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
If I tried&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-God bless us, every one.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Come on, y'all!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Then I saw her face&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Ha-ha&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Now I'm a believer &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Listen!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Not a trace&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Of doubt in my mind&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I'm in love&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Ooh-aah&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I'm a believer &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I couldn't leave her if I tried&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Ooh!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Uh!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Then I saw her face&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Now I'm a believer &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Hey!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Not a trace&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Uhh! Yeah.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Of doubt in my mind&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-One more time!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I'm in love&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I'm a believer &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Come on!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I believe, I believe, I believe, I believe, &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I believe, I believe, I believe, I believe, I believe, hey&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Y'all sing it with me!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Believe&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I believe&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
People in the back!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I believe&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I'm a believer &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I believe&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I believe&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I believe&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I believe&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{Hysterical laughing}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-Oh, that's funny. Oh. Oh.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-I can't breathe. I can't breathe. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I believe in self-assertion&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Destiny or a slight diversion&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Now it seems I've got my head on straight&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I'm a freak an apparition&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Seems I've made the right decision&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
To try to turn back now it might be too late&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Now I want to stay home today&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Don't wanna go out&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
If anyone comes to play&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Gonna get thrown out&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I wanna stay home today&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Don't want no company&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
No way&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Yeah, yeah, yeah&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I wanna be a millionaire someday&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
But know what it feels like to give it away&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Watch me march to the beat of my own drum&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
And it's off to the moon and then back again&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Same old day Same situation&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
My happiness rears back as if to say&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I wanna stay home today&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Don't wanna go out&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
If anyone comes to play&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Gonna get thrown out&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I wanna stay home today&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Don't want no company&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
No way&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Yeah, yeah, yeah&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I wanna stay home, stay home, stay home.........&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I get such a thrill when you look in my eyes&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
My heart skips a beat&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Girl, I feel so alive&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Please tell me, baby, if all this is true&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
'Cause deep down inside all I wanted was you&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Oh-oh-oh&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Makes me wanna dance&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Oh-oh-oh&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
It's a new romance&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Oh-oh-oh&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I look into your eyes&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Oh-oh-oh&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The best years of our lives&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
When we first met&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I could hardly believe&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The things that would happen &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
and we could achieve&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
So let's be together&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
for all of our time&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Oh, girl, I'm so thankful&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
that you are still mine&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
You always consider me&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
like an ugly duckling&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
And treat me like a Nostradamus&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
was why I had to get my shine on&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I break a little something&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
to keep my mind on&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
'Cause you had my mind gone&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Eh-eh, eh-eh, eh-eh&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Turn the lights on, Come on, baby&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Let's just rewind the song&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
'Cause all I want to do is &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
make the rest years the best years&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
All night long&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Oh-oh-oh&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Makes me wanna dance&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Makes me wanna dance&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Oh-oh-oh&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
It's a new romance&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
It's a new romance&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Oh-oh-oh&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I look into your eyes&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Oh, yeah, yeah&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I look into your eyes&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Oh-oh-oh&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The best years of our lives&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah..............&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Everything looks bright&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Standing in your light&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Everything feels right&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
What's left is out of sight&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
What's a girl to do &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I'm telling you&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
You're on my mind&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I wanna be with you&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
'Cause when you're&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
standin' next to me&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
It's like wow&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
And all your kisses&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
seem to set me free&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
It's like wow&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
And when we touch&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
it's such a rush&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I can't get enough&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
It's like- - It's like&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Ooh-ooh&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Hey, what&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
It's like wow&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Ooh-ooh, hey&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Hey, yeah&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
It's like wow&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Everything is looking&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
right now, right now&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
It's like wow&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
And I got this feeling&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
This feeling &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
it's just like wow&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
It's just like wow&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
You are all I'm thinking of.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Like wow&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Everything feels right&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Everything feels right&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Like wow&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Everything looks bright&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
All my senses are right&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Like wow&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Everything feels right&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Baby, baby, baby&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
the way I'm feeling you&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Is like wow&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
There is something&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
that I see&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
In the way &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
you look at me&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
There's a smile&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
There's a truth&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
In your eyes&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
What an unexpected way&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
On this unexpected day&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Could it be&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
This is where I belong&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
It 99is you I have loved&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
All long&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
There's no more mystery&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
It is finally clear to me&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
You're the home&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
my heart's searched for&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
So long&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
It is you I have loved&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
All long&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Whoa, over and over&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I'm filled with emotion&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
As I look&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Into your perfect face&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>I torture furries and take them to the fuhrer</name></author>	</entry>

	<entry>
		<id>//en.wikifur.com/wiki/WikiFur_talk:IRC</id>
		<title>WikiFur talk:IRC</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://en.wikifur.com/wiki/WikiFur_talk:IRC"/>
				<updated>2023-09-11T00:22:22Z</updated>
		
		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;I torture furries and take them to the fuhrer: /* Jabber chat? */&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;Article says &amp;quot;(Note: Firefox users will need to install the ChatZilla extension in order to use IRC through the browser.)&amp;quot; Perhaps rephrase to &amp;quot;(Note: Firefox users '''who don't want to use the  CGI:IRC gateway''' will need to install ...&amp;quot; --[[User:EarthFurst|EarthFurst]] 06:29, 19 January 2007 (UTC)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{Protection}}{{MagicWords}}{{CoCLink}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{Card Infobox|Cost=4|Rarity=Rare|Type=Troop|Arena=Builder's Workshop|ReleaseDate=4 January 2016}}&lt;br /&gt;
{{Quote|Fast melee troop that targets buildings and can jump over the river. He followed the echoing call of &amp;quot;Hog Riderrrrr&amp;quot; all the way through the Arena doors.}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The Hog Rider is a {{Rarity|Rare}} [[Cards|card]] that is unlocked from the [[Arenas|Builder's Workshop (Arena 5)]]. It spawns a fast, single-target, [[:Category:Building Cards|building]]-targeting, melee, ground [[:Category:Troop_Cards|troop]] with high hitpoints and high damage. He is able to jump over the river. He appears as a man with brown eyebrows, a beard, a mohawk, and a golden body piercing in his left ear who is riding a hog. A Hog Rider card costs 4 [[Elixir]] to deploy.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Strategy==&lt;br /&gt;
*When he is jumping over the river, he cannot be targeted by any ground attacking units. [[The Log]] and [[Earthquake]] will fail to damage a Hog Rider while he is jumping. Air [[:Category:Troop Cards|troops]] can still attack him though, and the [[Inferno Tower]] and [[Inferno Dragon]] will continue to ramp up their damage.&lt;br /&gt;
*When countering the Hog Rider, using [[:Category:Building Cards|buildings]] would be your best bet. But be wary, as the offender will usually play around it with [[cards]] such as Earthquake. Air swarms such as [[Minion Horde]] can also help due to the Hog Rider's usual support cards not countering them.&lt;br /&gt;
**On the offender's side, a powerful move is to accompany him with an Earthquake, obliterating almost every building, and also grounded swarms. To a lesser extent, [[Lightning]] could also be used, retaining the same point of almost destroying every building while also crippling troops such as the [[Wizard]] or the [[Hunter]].&lt;br /&gt;
*Using The Log to predict a [[Skeleton Army]] or even a [[Tombstone]] will let your Hog Rider keep most of his hitpoints and your opponent may not answer in time, letting your Hog Rider connect to the [[:Category:Crown Towers|Tower]].&lt;br /&gt;
*The Hog Rider can be paired with the [[Lumberjack]] as both a swarm bait and damage combo. It is a very fast combo with an extremely high damage output potential, so the defender will likely try to counter it with a swarm. If this happens, the attacker should use a [[:Category:Spell Cards|spell]] like [[Arrows]] to render the defender poetically defenseless. If they manage to defeat the Lumberjack, the dropped [[Rage]] will make the Hog Rider even more dangerous than it normally is.&lt;br /&gt;
**A fast and deadly combination is the Hog Rider and [[Mini P.E.K.K.A.|Mini P.E.K.K.A]] combo. Both units are fast but the Mini P.E.K.K.A does much more damage and does not attack only buildings so the Mini P.E.K.K.A can deal with troops like the [[Executioner]] and [[Musketeer]] (keep in mind that such troops will rarely be used to counter the hog rider, so this combo may not be as strong as others listed) However, this combo can be defeated with swarms like Skeleton Army due to the mini P.E.K.K.A's single target, or by the opponent kiting the mini P.E.K.K.A with a small troup like [[Skeletons]] to deal with the hog rider alone. They are also unable to target air troops, so the Minion Horde can stop this easily.&lt;br /&gt;
*A Hog Rider combined with a [[Goblin Barrel]] can be awkward for the opponent to defend against. Timing it so that the Hog Rider is tanking the tower shots for the [[Goblins]] is the most effective way to deal damage.&lt;br /&gt;
**A [[Barbarian Barrel]] can shut this down with minimal Tower damage for a positive [[Elixir]] trade, as long as the Goblin Barrel was placed directly on the Tower. Use another card (such as a [[Cannon]]) to counter the Hog Rider if necessary.&lt;br /&gt;
*His fast movement speed can boost forward mini tanks like an [[Ice Golem]] in a push. At the same time, he can also function as a tank for lower-hitpoint troops such as Goblins as he still has a fair amount of health. However, the Hog Rider struggles with swarms, as they can damage him down and defeat him quickly while obstructing his path, due to his inability to target troops. [[Barbarians]] in particular can fully counter him without very strict timing on the defender's part, though they are vulnerable to spells. Swarm cards like Skeleton Army, [[Goblin Gang]], and Minion Horde can also very easily counter him, although with the same weakness.&lt;br /&gt;
**Use this to your advantage by placing a bulky swarm killer in front of the Hog Rider (eg. Ice Golem, [[Valkyrie]]) so that the Hog Rider can transport the troop to the Tower faster and also get protection from swarms in return&lt;br /&gt;
*Most cheap swarms complement the Hog Rider well, as they are nearly as fast as him and usually force more than one card out of the opponent's hand.&lt;br /&gt;
*The Hog Rider in conjunction with the [[Freeze]] can surprise the opponent and allow the Hog Rider to deal much more damage than anticipated, especially if the opponent's go-to counter is a swarm, or swarms are their only effective counter to him. Skeletonsand [[Bats]] will immediately be defeated by the spell, while [[Spear Goblins]], Goblins, and [[Minions]] will be at low enough health to be defeated by a follow up small spell. &lt;br /&gt;
**Against non-swarm troops, it can deal a lot of damage during the freeze time, but this can allow the opponent to set up a massive counterpush. For this reason, players should either only go for a Hog Rider + Freeze when they have other units backing it up from a counterattack, or if the match is about to end and they need to deal as much damage as possible. The exception to this is an [[Elixir Collector]] placed in front of the [[King's Tower]]. If a Hog Rider placed at the bridge, he can destroy the Elixir Collector for a positive Elixir trade, though the damage from both [[Princess Towers]] will usually mean he does not survive to deal any damage to them. However, if the opponent sends in defending troops, it can be an opportunity to gain spell damage value.&lt;br /&gt;
*It is obviously not a good idea to send in a Hog Rider simply to destroy a building, especially if it is the only building targeting unit available, as defeating Crown Towers becomes substantially more difficult. Spells, long-range troops, or simply waiting out the lifetime of the building are more effective.&lt;br /&gt;
**In a [[Battle Decks|deck]] with several low-cost cards, it might be worth it to simply send the Hog Rider against one building. These decks, called &amp;quot;cycle decks&amp;quot;, shuffle their card rotation quick enough, that they will arrive to their next Hog Rider before the next Hog Rider counter arrives in the opponent's card rotation.&lt;br /&gt;
*When there are buildings placed in the middle to counter the Hog Rider, understanding the placement of the Hog Rider and the type of building placed can help the Hog Rider to bypass certain buildings.&lt;br /&gt;
**Passive buildings such as spawners have a larger hitbox than defensive buildings; which means that if a passive building was placed 3 tiles away from the river in the middle of the opponent's side, then it is impossible for the Hog Rider to bypass that placement. He'll just be pulled.&lt;br /&gt;
**Defensive buildings have a smaller hitbox than a passive building, which means if that if a defensive building was placed three tiles away from the river in the middle of the opponent's side, a Hog Rider placed at the very left or right side of the Arena may be able to bypass it due to its smaller hitbox.&lt;br /&gt;
**If the player has a building already placed down in the center of the arena, and the opponent tries to bypass it with a Hog Rider at the edge of the [[Arenas|Arena]], they can use certain air troops to push the Hog Rider towards the building as it jumps over the river, effectively denying the bypass attempt. They must be already hovering over the correct placement, as very quick reflexes are required to correctly perform this technique.&lt;br /&gt;
***For Bats, [[Skeleton Dragons]], and Minion Horde, they should be placed right in front of the Hog Rider as soon as it is deployed.&lt;br /&gt;
***For Minions, [[Skeleton Barrel]], [[Mega Minion]], [[Flying Machine]], [[Electro Dragon]], [[Baby Dragon]], [[Inferno Dragon]], [[Balloon]], and [[Lava Hound]], stagger the above placement one tile to the right if the Hog Rider is placed on the left side of the Arena, and vice versa.&lt;br /&gt;
**They can also use ground troops to achieve the same result. Something like an Ice Golem deployed at the Hog Rider’s landing spot will obstruct his path and force him to go around the unit, which causes him to be closer to the building instead of the Crown Tower.&lt;br /&gt;
*The Hog Rider can kite Very Fast non-building targeting troops due to his own Very Fast speed and building only targeting if he is placed on the fourth tile from the bridge, slightly into the opposite lane. He can also stall grounded units when placed right at the bridge. He will pull them towards him while deploying, and then be untargetable by them when he jumps over the bridge. After landing, he will pull them back. This can be useful when the player needs to deal damage in the same lane they are defending. It will also help separate troops behind a tank in a large push.&lt;br /&gt;
*A very powerful combo is the Hog Rider, the Musketeer, and the Valkyrie, typically referred to as the Trifecta. The Musketeer will defend against most troops, while the Valkyrie can protect her and the Hog Rider from swarms or high damage units. The Hog Rider is used to deal damage to the tower. However, this is for a whopping 12 Elixir.&lt;br /&gt;
**This can be effectively countered by Lightning, one-shotting the Musketeer and severely damaging both the Valkyrie and Hog Rider. The Minion Horde is also effective, but the enemy can Zap them and the Musketeer will one-shot them all. Even if the Musketeer is defeated, the Hog Rider and Valkyrie will have enough time to severely damage the Tower. [[P.E.K.K.A.|P.E.K.K.A]] can hard counter this strategy allowing relatively low damage and being able to start a counterpush for a 5 Elixir advantage.&lt;br /&gt;
**The Hog Rider should be placed behind the Valkyrie to give it a boost so that it stays in front of the Hog Rider, protecting it.&lt;br /&gt;
*Pairing the Hog Rider with the Balloon can deal devastating damage. If executed properly, the Hog Rider will act as a tank while the Balloon threatens to deal massive damage. The Hog Rider can also destroy any buildings attempting to slow down the combo. However, this combo is very vulnerable to swarms and anti-air cards as they only target buildings. Additionally, they are easy to separate, due to the disparity in move speeds. Alternatively, the Hog Rider and the Balloon can be played in different lanes to spread the opponent's defenses thin. However, a building or [[Tornado]] can bring them back together for an easier defense.&lt;br /&gt;
*A solid play is to deploy the Hog Rider at the bridge as soon as the match starts or when you reach 10 Elixir which is safer. If the opponent does not react fast enough or has a bad starting hand, the Hog Rider will deal a significant amount of damage to the [[Princess Towers|Princess Tower]]. This can also allow the player to quickly scout the opponent's deck if they happen to react to him fast enough.&lt;br /&gt;
*A [[Hunter]] can kill the Hog Rider in 2 hits if placed right on top of it. However, if the opponent places something in front of the Hog Rider, the Hunter's splash will transfer overkill damage to said card.&lt;br /&gt;
*A good placement and timing with [[Guards]] and The Log will fully counter the Hog Rider, canceling all Hog hits. This works with Goblins as well.&lt;br /&gt;
*A Tornado placed on the second tile front of the player's [[King's Tower]] and staggered two tiles towards the Princess Tower will activate it without any damage dealt to the Princess Tower, helping them in defending future pushes. This can also be a method of mitigating all damage dealt to a Princess Tower, but doing this more than three times may result in the King's Tower's health being low enough to be targeted directly, opening up the possible threat of a back door three crown. Make sure to avoid this by stopping the tornado's if your king tower is at low enough health.&lt;br /&gt;
*A [[Fisherman]] timed perfectly can pull a Hog Rider without it dealing damage, activating the King's Tower. When it  has already been activated, put the Fisherman closer to the river rather than the King's Tower so the Hog Rider will be pulled to a safer location for you.&lt;br /&gt;
*Using a [[Rocket]] on a Hog Rider is sometimes a good play, especially if you do not have a good response in hand or if you can clip something else along with the Hog Rider.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;center&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;div id=&amp;quot;unit-statistics&amp;quot; class=&amp;quot;table-back&amp;quot;&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
{{Statistics}}{{StatusEffects}}&lt;br /&gt;
{| class=&amp;quot;wikitable&amp;quot; id=&amp;quot;unit-attributes-table&amp;quot; style=&amp;quot;width:100%; text-align:center;&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
! scope=&amp;quot;col&amp;quot; |Cost&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;{{Icon|I=Elixir}}&lt;br /&gt;
! scope=&amp;quot;col&amp;quot; |Hit Speed&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;{{Icon|I=Damage Speed}}&lt;br /&gt;
! scope=&amp;quot;col&amp;quot; |Speed&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;{{Icon|I=Speed}}&lt;br /&gt;
! scope=&amp;quot;col&amp;quot; |Deploy Time&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;{{Icon|I=Deploy Time}}&lt;br /&gt;
! scope=&amp;quot;col&amp;quot; |Range&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;{{Icon|I=Range}}&lt;br /&gt;
! scope=&amp;quot;col&amp;quot; |Target&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;{{Icon|I=Targets}}&lt;br /&gt;
! scope=&amp;quot;col&amp;quot; |Count&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;{{Icon|I=Troop Count}}&lt;br /&gt;
! scope=&amp;quot;col&amp;quot; |Transport&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;{{Icon|I=Transport}}&lt;br /&gt;
! scope=&amp;quot;col&amp;quot; |Type&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;{{Icon|I=Type}}&lt;br /&gt;
! scope=&amp;quot;col&amp;quot; |Rarity&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;{{Icon|I=Rarity}}&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
|4||1.6 sec||Very Fast (120)||1 sec||Melee: Short (0.8)||Buildings||x1||Ground||[[:Category:Troop Cards|Troop]]||{{Rarity|Rare}}&lt;br /&gt;
|}&lt;br /&gt;
{| class=&amp;quot;wikitable&amp;quot; id=&amp;quot;unit-statistics-table&amp;quot; style=&amp;quot;width:100%; text-align:center;&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
! scope=&amp;quot;col&amp;quot; |Level&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;{{Icon|I=Level}}&lt;br /&gt;
! scope=&amp;quot;col&amp;quot; |Hitpoints&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;{{Icon|I=Hitpoint}}&lt;br /&gt;
! scope=&amp;quot;col&amp;quot; |Damage&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;{{Icon|I=Damage}}&lt;br /&gt;
! scope=&amp;quot;col&amp;quot; |Damage per second&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;{{Icon|I=DPS}}&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
|3||800||150||93&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
|4||880||165||103&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
|5||968||181||113&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
|6||1,064||199||124&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
|7||1,168||219||136&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
|8||1,280||240||150&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
|9||1,408||264||165&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
|10||1,544||289||180&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
|11||1,696||318||198&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
|12||1,864||349||218&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
|13||2,048||384||240&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
|14||2,248||421||263&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
|15||2,472||463||289&lt;br /&gt;
|}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{StatisticsSubheader|Card Mastery}}&lt;br /&gt;
{| class=&amp;quot;wikitable&amp;quot; style=&amp;quot;width:100%; text-align:center;&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
! width=&amp;quot;25%&amp;quot; |Type&lt;br /&gt;
! width=&amp;quot;10%&amp;quot; |Level/Tier&lt;br /&gt;
! width=&amp;quot;40%&amp;quot; |Objective&lt;br /&gt;
! width=&amp;quot;25%&amp;quot; |Rewards&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
| rowspan=&amp;quot;3&amp;quot; |Damage Dealer &amp;lt;br&amp;gt; [[File:Damage Dealer.png|50x50px]]&lt;br /&gt;
|1&lt;br /&gt;
|Deal a total of 85,000 Damage to enemy [[:Category:Troop Cards|Troops]] or [[:Category:Building Cards|buildings]]&lt;br /&gt;
|100 {{BASEPAGENAME}} cards&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;50 {{Icon|I=XP}}&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
|2&lt;br /&gt;
|Deal a total of 250,000 Damage to enemy Troops or buildings&lt;br /&gt;
|4,000 {{Icon|I=Gold}}&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;50 {{Icon|I=XP}}&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
|3&lt;br /&gt;
|Deal a total of 420,000 Damage to enemy Troops or buildings&lt;br /&gt;
|150 {{Icon|I=Gem}}&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;50 {{Icon|I=XP}}&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
| rowspan=&amp;quot;3&amp;quot; |Tower Tapper &amp;lt;br&amp;gt; [[File:Tower Tapper.png|50x50px]]&lt;br /&gt;
|1&lt;br /&gt;
|Hit enemy [[:Category:Crown Towers|Crown Towers]] a total of 560 times&lt;br /&gt;
|6,000 {{Icon|I=Gold}}&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;125 {{Icon|I=XP}}&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
|2&lt;br /&gt;
|Hit enemy Crown Towers a total of 1,600 times&lt;br /&gt;
|100 {{Icon|I=Rare Wild Card}}&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;125 {{Icon|I=XP}}&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
|3&lt;br /&gt;
|Hit enemy Crown Towers a total of 2,800 times&lt;br /&gt;
|9,000 {{Icon|I=Gold}}&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;125 {{Icon|I=XP}}&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
| rowspan=&amp;quot;3&amp;quot; |Siege Weapon&lt;br /&gt;
|1&lt;br /&gt;
|Hit towers at least 10 times within a single [[Basics of Battle|battle]] a total of 80 times&lt;br /&gt;
|100 [[File:Banner Token.png|25px]]&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;175 {{Icon|I=XP}}&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
|2&lt;br /&gt;
|Hit towers at least 10 times within a single battle a total of 240 times&lt;br /&gt;
|125 [[File:Banner Token.png|25px]]&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;175 {{Icon|I=XP}}&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
|3&lt;br /&gt;
|Hit towers at least 10 times within a single battle a total of 480 times&lt;br /&gt;
|150 [[File:Banner Token.png|25px]]&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;175 {{Icon|I=XP}}&lt;br /&gt;
|}&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;/div&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;/center&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==History==&lt;br /&gt;
2016&lt;br /&gt;
*The Hog Rider [[Cards|card]] was added with Clash Royale's game launch on 4/1/2016.&lt;br /&gt;
*On 29/2/2016, the [[Version History#March 2016 Update (29/2/2016)|March 2016 Update]], decreased the Hog Rider's sight range to 9.5 tiles (from 10 tiles). It also changed the Hog Rider's sound effects. Previously, his sound effects were identical to those of the [[Barbarians]].&lt;br /&gt;
*On 3/5/2016, the [[Version History#May 2016 Update (3/5/2016)|May 2016 Update]], increased the {{Rarity|Rare}} card Level cap to 11 (from 10). The update also fixed the “range bug”, which decreased the Hog Rider's range to 0.8 tiles (from 1.4 tiles), but his effective range was unchanged.&lt;br /&gt;
*On 21/6/2016, a [[Version History#Balance Changes (21/6/2016)|Balance Update]], decreased the Hog Rider's damage by 6%.&lt;br /&gt;
2017&lt;br /&gt;
*On 22/11/2017, a [[Version History#Maintenance%20Break%20(22/11/2017)|maintenance break]], temporarily removed the Hog Rider from the [[Touchdown]] [[:Category:Modes|mode]].&lt;br /&gt;
*On 12/12/2017, the [[Version History#Electrifying Update (12/12/2017)|Electrifying Update]], increased the Hog Rider’s attack time interval to 1.6 seconds (from 1.5 seconds) and his first attack time interval to 0.6 seconds (from 0.5 seconds).&lt;br /&gt;
2018&lt;br /&gt;
*On 20/6/2018, the [[Version History#Summer%202018%20Update%20(20/6/2018)|Summer 2018 Update]], moved the [[Arenas|Arena]] to unlock the Hog Rider from P.E.K.K.A's Playhouse to Goblin Stadium.&lt;br /&gt;
*On 5/9/2018, the [[Version History#September%202018%20Update%20(5/9/2018)|September 2018 Update]], changed it so that {{Rarity|Rare}} cards start at Level 3 and end at Level 13 (from 1 to 11).&lt;br /&gt;
2019&lt;br /&gt;
*On 26/11/2019, the [[Version History#End%20of%20November%202019%20Update%20(26/11/2019)|End of November 2019 Update]], removed the Hog Rider from [[Tournament/Special Event Challenges|Mega Deck]] Touchdown. It also added a card render to the Hog Rider's card info screen.&lt;br /&gt;
2021&lt;br /&gt;
*On 7/6/2021, the [[Version History#Summer%202021%20Update%20(7/6/2021)|Summer 2021 Update]], moved the Arena to unlock the Hog Rider from Goblin Stadium to Spell Valley.&lt;br /&gt;
*On 2/9/2021, a maintenance break, changed the Hog Rider's card render.&lt;br /&gt;
*On 27/10/2021, the [[Version History#Champions%20Update%20(27/10/2021)|Champions Update]], increased the Level cap of all cards to 14 (from 13).&lt;br /&gt;
2022&lt;br /&gt;
*On 26/10/2022, the [[Version History#2022%20Quarter%203%20Update%20(26/10/2022)|2022 Quarter 3 Update]], moved the Arena to unlock the Hog Rider from Spell Valley to Builder's Workshop. It also added the Siege Weapon [[Card Mastery]] task for the Hog Rider.&lt;br /&gt;
2023&lt;br /&gt;
*On 19/6/2023, the [[Version History#Card%20Evolution%20Update%20(19/6/2023)|Card Evolution Update]], increased the Level cap of all cards to 15 (from 14).&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Gallery==&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;gallery&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
File:Old Hog Rider card render.png|Hog Rider's card render before 2/9/2021.&lt;br /&gt;
File:Hog Rider card render.png|Current card render.&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;/gallery&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Trivia==&lt;br /&gt;
*The hog that he rides is most likely a &amp;quot;''Phacochoerus africanus''&amp;quot; ([https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Common_warthog common warthog]). Common Warthogs are smaller than boars but more agile which might explain why the Hog Rider can move particularly fast. Warthogs also have tusks, which is like the Hog Rider's hog in Clash Royale.&lt;br /&gt;
*The Hog Rider is 1 of 19 [[:Category:Troop Cards|troops]] which first existed in Clash of Clans, the others being [[Minions]], [[Archers]], [[Goblins]], [[Skeletons]], [[Barbarians]], [[Giant]], [[Valkyrie]], [[Wizard]], [[Witch]], [[P.E.K.K.A.|P.E.K.K.A]], [[Balloon]], [[Golem]], [[Wall Breakers]], [[Bowler]], [[Cannon Cart]], [[Phoenix]], [[Lava Hound]], and the [[Archer Queen]].&lt;br /&gt;
**The Hog Rider is 1 of 4 {{Rarity|Rare}} troops which first existed in Clash of Clans, the others being the Giant, Valkyrie, and Wizard.&lt;br /&gt;
*The Hog Rider is one of the first troop [[cards]] to receive a card render, alongside the Archers, [[Knight]], Goblins, [[Bomber]], Skeletons, Barbarians, [[Bats]], [[Royal Recruits]], [[Skeleton Barrel]], [[Rascals]], [[Musketeer]], Giant, Valkyrie, Wizard, [[Flying Machine]], [[Royal Hogs]], [[Dart Goblin]], [[Zappies]], [[Elixir Golem]], [[Baby Dragon]], [[Skeleton Army]], Witch, P.E.K.K.A, [[Prince]], Balloon, [[Giant Skeleton]], [[Goblin Giant]], [[Hunter]], [[Electro Dragon]], Wall Breakers, Bowler, Cannon Cart, [[Mega Knight]], [[Ram Rider]], [[Miner]], [[Royal Ghost]], [[Ice Wizard]], [[Magic Archer]], [[Bandit]], Lava Hound, [[Night Witch]], and [[Fisherman]].&lt;br /&gt;
*The Hog Rider is 1 of 7 troops that can jump over the river, the others being Royal Hogs, [[Dark Prince]], Prince, Ram Rider, [[Mother Witch|Cursed Hog]], and [[Santa Hog Rider]].&lt;br /&gt;
*In the French, German, Spanish, Dutch, Turkish, Arabic, Portuguese, Persian, Indonesian, and Malaysian language settings of the game, the Hog Rider's name translates to &amp;quot;Pig Rider&amp;quot;. In the Norwegian, Russian, Chinese, and Finnish language settings of the game, the Hog Rider's name translates to &amp;quot;Royal Boars&amp;quot;. In the Italian, Thai, Finnish and Vietnamese language settings of the game, the Hog Rider's name translates to &amp;quot;Wild Boar Tamer&amp;quot;, &amp;quot;Wild Boar Rider&amp;quot;, and &amp;quot;Hog Knight&amp;quot; respectively.&lt;br /&gt;
*The Hog Rider bears more than a passing resemblance to [[wikipedia:Mr._T|Mr. T]] and [https://streetfighter.fandom.com/wiki/Zangief Zangief] from Street Fighter.&lt;br /&gt;
*His description is based on the Clash of Clans [https://youtu.be/XH3Xu1-cvII Ride of the Hog Riders commercial].&lt;br /&gt;
**From his description, it is implied that the [[Arenas|Arena]] has doors leading to it.&lt;br /&gt;
*When the Hog Rider is deployed, he will occasionally yell &amp;quot;''Hog Riderrrrr!''&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
**The Hog Rider is 1 of 22 cards that speak distinct words when on the field, the others being [[Mini P.E.K.K.A.]], Wizard, P.E.K.K.A., Dark Prince, Bowler, [[Electro Wizard]], [[Princess]], Ice Wizard, Magic Archer, [[Lumberjack]], Fisherman, [[Super Mini P.E.K.K.A.]], Santa Hog Rider, [[Super Magic Archer]], [[The Log]], [[Party Rocket]], [[Party Hut]], [[Golden Knight]], [[Skeleton King]], Archer Queen, and the [[Terry]].&lt;br /&gt;
*In Hog Mountain, 2 Hog Rider statues can be seen behind the enemy's [[King's Tower]].&lt;br /&gt;
*The [[Path of Legends|Master 2 League]] badge resembles a Hog Rider's hammer.&lt;br /&gt;
*The Hog Rider is featured in non-Clash games. More specifically:&lt;br /&gt;
**The Hog Rider is featured as [https://brawlstars.fandom.com/wiki/Carl?file=Carl_Skin-Hog_Rider.png a character skin for Carl] in Brawl Stars.&lt;br /&gt;
**The Hog Rider, along with the Barbarians, Goblins, Giant, Valkyrie, Wizard, Witch, P.E.K.K.A, and the Archer Queen, is featured as a non-playable opponent in [https://www.chess.com/ Chess].&lt;br /&gt;
*The Hog Rider is the subject of a few [[Emotes]].&lt;br /&gt;
**It is also 1 of 3 cards in which an Emote it is the subject of relates to one of its [[Star Points|Star Levels]] (Emote 155), the others being the [[Elite Barbarians]] (Emote 188) and [[Rocket]] (Emote 217).&lt;br /&gt;
*The Hog Rider was featured in the winning [[Battle Decks|decks]] of multiple Clash Royale Tournaments. More specifically:&lt;br /&gt;
**The Hog Rider was featured in the winning deck of the [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VxEzjdKQ4HA Clash Royale Helsinki Tournament], by a player called Jason.&lt;br /&gt;
***In the [[Training Camp]], Trainer Jason uses the same deck as a reference to this player.&lt;br /&gt;
**The Hog Rider was featured in the winning deck of the [https://youtu.be/LWQjS0e6iiE Super Magical Cup Tournament], by a player called CMcHugh.&lt;br /&gt;
*His Star Level 3 skin is not the same as it is shown in the [https://youtu.be/FBRWUwm0_gY Star Levels commercial]. In the commercial, he has a fully golden beard mustache and mohawk, whereas in-game only his mohawk is golden.&lt;br /&gt;
*Despite the Damage Dealer [[Card Mastery]] task mentioning that the Hog Rider can deal damage to troops or [[:Category:Building Cards|buildings]], he cannot progress the task by dealing damage to troops.&lt;br /&gt;
**The Hog Rider is 1 of 5 troops that cannot deal damage to other troops whatsoever, the others being the [[Royal Giant]], Giant, Royal Hogs, and Elixir Golem.&lt;br /&gt;
*Before the Hog Rider's card release, the Hog Rider's damage was decreased by 5%.&lt;br /&gt;
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{{Navigation|Card}}&lt;br /&gt;
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==GAIM/Pidgin==&lt;br /&gt;
Huh. Thanks, Markus. I was completely unaware of the name change, for all that I use [[Wikipedia:GAIM|GAIM]] on a daily basis.----[[User:DuncanDaHusky|DuncanDaHusky]]&amp;lt;sup&amp;gt;([[User talk:DuncanDaHusky|talk]])&amp;lt;/sup&amp;gt; 13:05, 7 May 2007 (UTC)&lt;br /&gt;
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== Suggested Firefox extension possibly gone ==&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I see this hasn't been touched in years, and am not even sure if anyone is still watching it... But the link for the Firefox extension, ChatZilla, goes to a generic &amp;quot;not found&amp;quot; on Mozilla's Firefox page. At the time of this writing (Oct 25, 2019), I do not know an alternative, so this is just a heads up for the moment.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
== Moving away from Freenode ==&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Freenode's current staff have resigned, [https://blog.bofh.it/debian/id_461 alleging a hostile takeover]. I'm not sure if the new owner have values aligned with the furry community. Perhaps it's time that we move to a different IRC network, move to a different platform such as Discord/Telegram altogether, or discontinue live chat? Personally I do not like Telegram's tying identity to phone number and contact list access. ----[[User:Kakurady|Kakurady]] ([[User talk:Kakurady|talk]])&lt;br /&gt;
: Projects and organizations such as Ubuntu, Wikimedia, Fedora, Haskell, and many others have moved to Libera.chat, an IRC network by ex-staffers of Freenode. Freenode responded by taking ownership of any channel that mentions they have moved to libera.chat in the channel topic, considering it &amp;quot;inappropriate advertising&amp;quot;. I do not think this is appropriate behavior for an IRC network. Communities such as Debian and OpenStreetMap are already on a different IRC network, OFTC, and are not affected. ---[[User:Kakurady|Kakurady]] ([[User talk:Kakurady|talk]]) 15:25, 28 May 2021 (EDT)&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>I torture furries and take them to the fuhrer</name></author>	</entry>

	<entry>
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		<title>WikiFur:IRC</title>
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				<updated>2023-09-11T00:20:38Z</updated>
		
		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;I torture furries and take them to the fuhrer: {{Protection}}{{MagicWords}}{{CoCLink}}  {{Card Infobox|Cost=4|Rarity=Rare|Type=Troop|Arena=Builder's Workshop|ReleaseDate=4 January 2016}} {{Quote|Fast melee troop that targets buildings and can jump over the river. He followed the echoing call of &amp;quot;Hog R&lt;/p&gt;
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{{Card Infobox|Cost=4|Rarity=Rare|Type=Troop|Arena=Builder's Workshop|ReleaseDate=4 January 2016}}&lt;br /&gt;
{{Quote|Fast melee troop that targets buildings and can jump over the river. He followed the echoing call of &amp;quot;Hog Riderrrrr&amp;quot; all the way through the Arena doors.}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The Hog Rider is a {{Rarity|Rare}} [[Cards|card]] that is unlocked from the [[Arenas|Builder's Workshop (Arena 5)]]. It spawns a fast, single-target, [[:Category:Building Cards|building]]-targeting, melee, ground [[:Category:Troop_Cards|troop]] with high hitpoints and high damage. He is able to jump over the river. He appears as a man with brown eyebrows, a beard, a mohawk, and a golden body piercing in his left ear who is riding a hog. A Hog Rider card costs 4 [[Elixir]] to deploy.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Strategy==&lt;br /&gt;
*When he is jumping over the river, he cannot be targeted by any ground attacking units. [[The Log]] and [[Earthquake]] will fail to damage a Hog Rider while he is jumping. Air [[:Category:Troop Cards|troops]] can still attack him though, and the [[Inferno Tower]] and [[Inferno Dragon]] will continue to ramp up their damage.&lt;br /&gt;
*When countering the Hog Rider, using [[:Category:Building Cards|buildings]] would be your best bet. But be wary, as the offender will usually play around it with [[cards]] such as Earthquake. Air swarms such as [[Minion Horde]] can also help due to the Hog Rider's usual support cards not countering them.&lt;br /&gt;
**On the offender's side, a powerful move is to accompany him with an Earthquake, obliterating almost every building, and also grounded swarms. To a lesser extent, [[Lightning]] could also be used, retaining the same point of almost destroying every building while also crippling troops such as the [[Wizard]] or the [[Hunter]].&lt;br /&gt;
*Using The Log to predict a [[Skeleton Army]] or even a [[Tombstone]] will let your Hog Rider keep most of his hitpoints and your opponent may not answer in time, letting your Hog Rider connect to the [[:Category:Crown Towers|Tower]].&lt;br /&gt;
*The Hog Rider can be paired with the [[Lumberjack]] as both a swarm bait and damage combo. It is a very fast combo with an extremely high damage output potential, so the defender will likely try to counter it with a swarm. If this happens, the attacker should use a [[:Category:Spell Cards|spell]] like [[Arrows]] to render the defender poetically defenseless. If they manage to defeat the Lumberjack, the dropped [[Rage]] will make the Hog Rider even more dangerous than it normally is.&lt;br /&gt;
**A fast and deadly combination is the Hog Rider and [[Mini P.E.K.K.A.|Mini P.E.K.K.A]] combo. Both units are fast but the Mini P.E.K.K.A does much more damage and does not attack only buildings so the Mini P.E.K.K.A can deal with troops like the [[Executioner]] and [[Musketeer]] (keep in mind that such troops will rarely be used to counter the hog rider, so this combo may not be as strong as others listed) However, this combo can be defeated with swarms like Skeleton Army due to the mini P.E.K.K.A's single target, or by the opponent kiting the mini P.E.K.K.A with a small troup like [[Skeletons]] to deal with the hog rider alone. They are also unable to target air troops, so the Minion Horde can stop this easily.&lt;br /&gt;
*A Hog Rider combined with a [[Goblin Barrel]] can be awkward for the opponent to defend against. Timing it so that the Hog Rider is tanking the tower shots for the [[Goblins]] is the most effective way to deal damage.&lt;br /&gt;
**A [[Barbarian Barrel]] can shut this down with minimal Tower damage for a positive [[Elixir]] trade, as long as the Goblin Barrel was placed directly on the Tower. Use another card (such as a [[Cannon]]) to counter the Hog Rider if necessary.&lt;br /&gt;
*His fast movement speed can boost forward mini tanks like an [[Ice Golem]] in a push. At the same time, he can also function as a tank for lower-hitpoint troops such as Goblins as he still has a fair amount of health. However, the Hog Rider struggles with swarms, as they can damage him down and defeat him quickly while obstructing his path, due to his inability to target troops. [[Barbarians]] in particular can fully counter him without very strict timing on the defender's part, though they are vulnerable to spells. Swarm cards like Skeleton Army, [[Goblin Gang]], and Minion Horde can also very easily counter him, although with the same weakness.&lt;br /&gt;
**Use this to your advantage by placing a bulky swarm killer in front of the Hog Rider (eg. Ice Golem, [[Valkyrie]]) so that the Hog Rider can transport the troop to the Tower faster and also get protection from swarms in return&lt;br /&gt;
*Most cheap swarms complement the Hog Rider well, as they are nearly as fast as him and usually force more than one card out of the opponent's hand.&lt;br /&gt;
*The Hog Rider in conjunction with the [[Freeze]] can surprise the opponent and allow the Hog Rider to deal much more damage than anticipated, especially if the opponent's go-to counter is a swarm, or swarms are their only effective counter to him. Skeletonsand [[Bats]] will immediately be defeated by the spell, while [[Spear Goblins]], Goblins, and [[Minions]] will be at low enough health to be defeated by a follow up small spell. &lt;br /&gt;
**Against non-swarm troops, it can deal a lot of damage during the freeze time, but this can allow the opponent to set up a massive counterpush. For this reason, players should either only go for a Hog Rider + Freeze when they have other units backing it up from a counterattack, or if the match is about to end and they need to deal as much damage as possible. The exception to this is an [[Elixir Collector]] placed in front of the [[King's Tower]]. If a Hog Rider placed at the bridge, he can destroy the Elixir Collector for a positive Elixir trade, though the damage from both [[Princess Towers]] will usually mean he does not survive to deal any damage to them. However, if the opponent sends in defending troops, it can be an opportunity to gain spell damage value.&lt;br /&gt;
*It is obviously not a good idea to send in a Hog Rider simply to destroy a building, especially if it is the only building targeting unit available, as defeating Crown Towers becomes substantially more difficult. Spells, long-range troops, or simply waiting out the lifetime of the building are more effective.&lt;br /&gt;
**In a [[Battle Decks|deck]] with several low-cost cards, it might be worth it to simply send the Hog Rider against one building. These decks, called &amp;quot;cycle decks&amp;quot;, shuffle their card rotation quick enough, that they will arrive to their next Hog Rider before the next Hog Rider counter arrives in the opponent's card rotation.&lt;br /&gt;
*When there are buildings placed in the middle to counter the Hog Rider, understanding the placement of the Hog Rider and the type of building placed can help the Hog Rider to bypass certain buildings.&lt;br /&gt;
**Passive buildings such as spawners have a larger hitbox than defensive buildings; which means that if a passive building was placed 3 tiles away from the river in the middle of the opponent's side, then it is impossible for the Hog Rider to bypass that placement. He'll just be pulled.&lt;br /&gt;
**Defensive buildings have a smaller hitbox than a passive building, which means if that if a defensive building was placed three tiles away from the river in the middle of the opponent's side, a Hog Rider placed at the very left or right side of the Arena may be able to bypass it due to its smaller hitbox.&lt;br /&gt;
**If the player has a building already placed down in the center of the arena, and the opponent tries to bypass it with a Hog Rider at the edge of the [[Arenas|Arena]], they can use certain air troops to push the Hog Rider towards the building as it jumps over the river, effectively denying the bypass attempt. They must be already hovering over the correct placement, as very quick reflexes are required to correctly perform this technique.&lt;br /&gt;
***For Bats, [[Skeleton Dragons]], and Minion Horde, they should be placed right in front of the Hog Rider as soon as it is deployed.&lt;br /&gt;
***For Minions, [[Skeleton Barrel]], [[Mega Minion]], [[Flying Machine]], [[Electro Dragon]], [[Baby Dragon]], [[Inferno Dragon]], [[Balloon]], and [[Lava Hound]], stagger the above placement one tile to the right if the Hog Rider is placed on the left side of the Arena, and vice versa.&lt;br /&gt;
**They can also use ground troops to achieve the same result. Something like an Ice Golem deployed at the Hog Rider’s landing spot will obstruct his path and force him to go around the unit, which causes him to be closer to the building instead of the Crown Tower.&lt;br /&gt;
*The Hog Rider can kite Very Fast non-building targeting troops due to his own Very Fast speed and building only targeting if he is placed on the fourth tile from the bridge, slightly into the opposite lane. He can also stall grounded units when placed right at the bridge. He will pull them towards him while deploying, and then be untargetable by them when he jumps over the bridge. After landing, he will pull them back. This can be useful when the player needs to deal damage in the same lane they are defending. It will also help separate troops behind a tank in a large push.&lt;br /&gt;
*A very powerful combo is the Hog Rider, the Musketeer, and the Valkyrie, typically referred to as the Trifecta. The Musketeer will defend against most troops, while the Valkyrie can protect her and the Hog Rider from swarms or high damage units. The Hog Rider is used to deal damage to the tower. However, this is for a whopping 12 Elixir.&lt;br /&gt;
**This can be effectively countered by Lightning, one-shotting the Musketeer and severely damaging both the Valkyrie and Hog Rider. The Minion Horde is also effective, but the enemy can Zap them and the Musketeer will one-shot them all. Even if the Musketeer is defeated, the Hog Rider and Valkyrie will have enough time to severely damage the Tower. [[P.E.K.K.A.|P.E.K.K.A]] can hard counter this strategy allowing relatively low damage and being able to start a counterpush for a 5 Elixir advantage.&lt;br /&gt;
**The Hog Rider should be placed behind the Valkyrie to give it a boost so that it stays in front of the Hog Rider, protecting it.&lt;br /&gt;
*Pairing the Hog Rider with the Balloon can deal devastating damage. If executed properly, the Hog Rider will act as a tank while the Balloon threatens to deal massive damage. The Hog Rider can also destroy any buildings attempting to slow down the combo. However, this combo is very vulnerable to swarms and anti-air cards as they only target buildings. Additionally, they are easy to separate, due to the disparity in move speeds. Alternatively, the Hog Rider and the Balloon can be played in different lanes to spread the opponent's defenses thin. However, a building or [[Tornado]] can bring them back together for an easier defense.&lt;br /&gt;
*A solid play is to deploy the Hog Rider at the bridge as soon as the match starts or when you reach 10 Elixir which is safer. If the opponent does not react fast enough or has a bad starting hand, the Hog Rider will deal a significant amount of damage to the [[Princess Towers|Princess Tower]]. This can also allow the player to quickly scout the opponent's deck if they happen to react to him fast enough.&lt;br /&gt;
*A [[Hunter]] can kill the Hog Rider in 2 hits if placed right on top of it. However, if the opponent places something in front of the Hog Rider, the Hunter's splash will transfer overkill damage to said card.&lt;br /&gt;
*A good placement and timing with [[Guards]] and The Log will fully counter the Hog Rider, canceling all Hog hits. This works with Goblins as well.&lt;br /&gt;
*A Tornado placed on the second tile front of the player's [[King's Tower]] and staggered two tiles towards the Princess Tower will activate it without any damage dealt to the Princess Tower, helping them in defending future pushes. This can also be a method of mitigating all damage dealt to a Princess Tower, but doing this more than three times may result in the King's Tower's health being low enough to be targeted directly, opening up the possible threat of a back door three crown. Make sure to avoid this by stopping the tornado's if your king tower is at low enough health.&lt;br /&gt;
*A [[Fisherman]] timed perfectly can pull a Hog Rider without it dealing damage, activating the King's Tower. When it  has already been activated, put the Fisherman closer to the river rather than the King's Tower so the Hog Rider will be pulled to a safer location for you.&lt;br /&gt;
*Using a [[Rocket]] on a Hog Rider is sometimes a good play, especially if you do not have a good response in hand or if you can clip something else along with the Hog Rider.&lt;br /&gt;
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&amp;lt;center&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;div id=&amp;quot;unit-statistics&amp;quot; class=&amp;quot;table-back&amp;quot;&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
{{Statistics}}{{StatusEffects}}&lt;br /&gt;
{| class=&amp;quot;wikitable&amp;quot; id=&amp;quot;unit-attributes-table&amp;quot; style=&amp;quot;width:100%; text-align:center;&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
! scope=&amp;quot;col&amp;quot; |Cost&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;{{Icon|I=Elixir}}&lt;br /&gt;
! scope=&amp;quot;col&amp;quot; |Hit Speed&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;{{Icon|I=Damage Speed}}&lt;br /&gt;
! scope=&amp;quot;col&amp;quot; |Speed&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;{{Icon|I=Speed}}&lt;br /&gt;
! scope=&amp;quot;col&amp;quot; |Deploy Time&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;{{Icon|I=Deploy Time}}&lt;br /&gt;
! scope=&amp;quot;col&amp;quot; |Range&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;{{Icon|I=Range}}&lt;br /&gt;
! scope=&amp;quot;col&amp;quot; |Target&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;{{Icon|I=Targets}}&lt;br /&gt;
! scope=&amp;quot;col&amp;quot; |Count&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;{{Icon|I=Troop Count}}&lt;br /&gt;
! scope=&amp;quot;col&amp;quot; |Transport&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;{{Icon|I=Transport}}&lt;br /&gt;
! scope=&amp;quot;col&amp;quot; |Type&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;{{Icon|I=Type}}&lt;br /&gt;
! scope=&amp;quot;col&amp;quot; |Rarity&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;{{Icon|I=Rarity}}&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
|4||1.6 sec||Very Fast (120)||1 sec||Melee: Short (0.8)||Buildings||x1||Ground||[[:Category:Troop Cards|Troop]]||{{Rarity|Rare}}&lt;br /&gt;
|}&lt;br /&gt;
{| class=&amp;quot;wikitable&amp;quot; id=&amp;quot;unit-statistics-table&amp;quot; style=&amp;quot;width:100%; text-align:center;&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
! scope=&amp;quot;col&amp;quot; |Level&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;{{Icon|I=Level}}&lt;br /&gt;
! scope=&amp;quot;col&amp;quot; |Hitpoints&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;{{Icon|I=Hitpoint}}&lt;br /&gt;
! scope=&amp;quot;col&amp;quot; |Damage&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;{{Icon|I=Damage}}&lt;br /&gt;
! scope=&amp;quot;col&amp;quot; |Damage per second&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;{{Icon|I=DPS}}&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
|3||800||150||93&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
|4||880||165||103&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
|5||968||181||113&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
|6||1,064||199||124&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
|7||1,168||219||136&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
|8||1,280||240||150&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
|9||1,408||264||165&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
|10||1,544||289||180&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
|11||1,696||318||198&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
|12||1,864||349||218&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
|13||2,048||384||240&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
|14||2,248||421||263&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
|15||2,472||463||289&lt;br /&gt;
|}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{StatisticsSubheader|Card Mastery}}&lt;br /&gt;
{| class=&amp;quot;wikitable&amp;quot; style=&amp;quot;width:100%; text-align:center;&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
! width=&amp;quot;25%&amp;quot; |Type&lt;br /&gt;
! width=&amp;quot;10%&amp;quot; |Level/Tier&lt;br /&gt;
! width=&amp;quot;40%&amp;quot; |Objective&lt;br /&gt;
! width=&amp;quot;25%&amp;quot; |Rewards&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
| rowspan=&amp;quot;3&amp;quot; |Damage Dealer &amp;lt;br&amp;gt; [[File:Damage Dealer.png|50x50px]]&lt;br /&gt;
|1&lt;br /&gt;
|Deal a total of 85,000 Damage to enemy [[:Category:Troop Cards|Troops]] or [[:Category:Building Cards|buildings]]&lt;br /&gt;
|100 {{BASEPAGENAME}} cards&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;50 {{Icon|I=XP}}&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
|2&lt;br /&gt;
|Deal a total of 250,000 Damage to enemy Troops or buildings&lt;br /&gt;
|4,000 {{Icon|I=Gold}}&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;50 {{Icon|I=XP}}&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
|3&lt;br /&gt;
|Deal a total of 420,000 Damage to enemy Troops or buildings&lt;br /&gt;
|150 {{Icon|I=Gem}}&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;50 {{Icon|I=XP}}&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
| rowspan=&amp;quot;3&amp;quot; |Tower Tapper &amp;lt;br&amp;gt; [[File:Tower Tapper.png|50x50px]]&lt;br /&gt;
|1&lt;br /&gt;
|Hit enemy [[:Category:Crown Towers|Crown Towers]] a total of 560 times&lt;br /&gt;
|6,000 {{Icon|I=Gold}}&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;125 {{Icon|I=XP}}&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
|2&lt;br /&gt;
|Hit enemy Crown Towers a total of 1,600 times&lt;br /&gt;
|100 {{Icon|I=Rare Wild Card}}&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;125 {{Icon|I=XP}}&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
|3&lt;br /&gt;
|Hit enemy Crown Towers a total of 2,800 times&lt;br /&gt;
|9,000 {{Icon|I=Gold}}&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;125 {{Icon|I=XP}}&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
| rowspan=&amp;quot;3&amp;quot; |Siege Weapon&lt;br /&gt;
|1&lt;br /&gt;
|Hit towers at least 10 times within a single [[Basics of Battle|battle]] a total of 80 times&lt;br /&gt;
|100 [[File:Banner Token.png|25px]]&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;175 {{Icon|I=XP}}&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
|2&lt;br /&gt;
|Hit towers at least 10 times within a single battle a total of 240 times&lt;br /&gt;
|125 [[File:Banner Token.png|25px]]&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;175 {{Icon|I=XP}}&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
|3&lt;br /&gt;
|Hit towers at least 10 times within a single battle a total of 480 times&lt;br /&gt;
|150 [[File:Banner Token.png|25px]]&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;175 {{Icon|I=XP}}&lt;br /&gt;
|}&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;/div&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;/center&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==History==&lt;br /&gt;
2016&lt;br /&gt;
*The Hog Rider [[Cards|card]] was added with Clash Royale's game launch on 4/1/2016.&lt;br /&gt;
*On 29/2/2016, the [[Version History#March 2016 Update (29/2/2016)|March 2016 Update]], decreased the Hog Rider's sight range to 9.5 tiles (from 10 tiles). It also changed the Hog Rider's sound effects. Previously, his sound effects were identical to those of the [[Barbarians]].&lt;br /&gt;
*On 3/5/2016, the [[Version History#May 2016 Update (3/5/2016)|May 2016 Update]], increased the {{Rarity|Rare}} card Level cap to 11 (from 10). The update also fixed the “range bug”, which decreased the Hog Rider's range to 0.8 tiles (from 1.4 tiles), but his effective range was unchanged.&lt;br /&gt;
*On 21/6/2016, a [[Version History#Balance Changes (21/6/2016)|Balance Update]], decreased the Hog Rider's damage by 6%.&lt;br /&gt;
2017&lt;br /&gt;
*On 22/11/2017, a [[Version History#Maintenance%20Break%20(22/11/2017)|maintenance break]], temporarily removed the Hog Rider from the [[Touchdown]] [[:Category:Modes|mode]].&lt;br /&gt;
*On 12/12/2017, the [[Version History#Electrifying Update (12/12/2017)|Electrifying Update]], increased the Hog Rider’s attack time interval to 1.6 seconds (from 1.5 seconds) and his first attack time interval to 0.6 seconds (from 0.5 seconds).&lt;br /&gt;
2018&lt;br /&gt;
*On 20/6/2018, the [[Version History#Summer%202018%20Update%20(20/6/2018)|Summer 2018 Update]], moved the [[Arenas|Arena]] to unlock the Hog Rider from P.E.K.K.A's Playhouse to Goblin Stadium.&lt;br /&gt;
*On 5/9/2018, the [[Version History#September%202018%20Update%20(5/9/2018)|September 2018 Update]], changed it so that {{Rarity|Rare}} cards start at Level 3 and end at Level 13 (from 1 to 11).&lt;br /&gt;
2019&lt;br /&gt;
*On 26/11/2019, the [[Version History#End%20of%20November%202019%20Update%20(26/11/2019)|End of November 2019 Update]], removed the Hog Rider from [[Tournament/Special Event Challenges|Mega Deck]] Touchdown. It also added a card render to the Hog Rider's card info screen.&lt;br /&gt;
2021&lt;br /&gt;
*On 7/6/2021, the [[Version History#Summer%202021%20Update%20(7/6/2021)|Summer 2021 Update]], moved the Arena to unlock the Hog Rider from Goblin Stadium to Spell Valley.&lt;br /&gt;
*On 2/9/2021, a maintenance break, changed the Hog Rider's card render.&lt;br /&gt;
*On 27/10/2021, the [[Version History#Champions%20Update%20(27/10/2021)|Champions Update]], increased the Level cap of all cards to 14 (from 13).&lt;br /&gt;
2022&lt;br /&gt;
*On 26/10/2022, the [[Version History#2022%20Quarter%203%20Update%20(26/10/2022)|2022 Quarter 3 Update]], moved the Arena to unlock the Hog Rider from Spell Valley to Builder's Workshop. It also added the Siege Weapon [[Card Mastery]] task for the Hog Rider.&lt;br /&gt;
2023&lt;br /&gt;
*On 19/6/2023, the [[Version History#Card%20Evolution%20Update%20(19/6/2023)|Card Evolution Update]], increased the Level cap of all cards to 15 (from 14).&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Gallery==&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;gallery&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
File:Old Hog Rider card render.png|Hog Rider's card render before 2/9/2021.&lt;br /&gt;
File:Hog Rider card render.png|Current card render.&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;/gallery&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Trivia==&lt;br /&gt;
*The hog that he rides is most likely a &amp;quot;''Phacochoerus africanus''&amp;quot; ([https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Common_warthog common warthog]). Common Warthogs are smaller than boars but more agile which might explain why the Hog Rider can move particularly fast. Warthogs also have tusks, which is like the Hog Rider's hog in Clash Royale.&lt;br /&gt;
*The Hog Rider is 1 of 19 [[:Category:Troop Cards|troops]] which first existed in Clash of Clans, the others being [[Minions]], [[Archers]], [[Goblins]], [[Skeletons]], [[Barbarians]], [[Giant]], [[Valkyrie]], [[Wizard]], [[Witch]], [[P.E.K.K.A.|P.E.K.K.A]], [[Balloon]], [[Golem]], [[Wall Breakers]], [[Bowler]], [[Cannon Cart]], [[Phoenix]], [[Lava Hound]], and the [[Archer Queen]].&lt;br /&gt;
**The Hog Rider is 1 of 4 {{Rarity|Rare}} troops which first existed in Clash of Clans, the others being the Giant, Valkyrie, and Wizard.&lt;br /&gt;
*The Hog Rider is one of the first troop [[cards]] to receive a card render, alongside the Archers, [[Knight]], Goblins, [[Bomber]], Skeletons, Barbarians, [[Bats]], [[Royal Recruits]], [[Skeleton Barrel]], [[Rascals]], [[Musketeer]], Giant, Valkyrie, Wizard, [[Flying Machine]], [[Royal Hogs]], [[Dart Goblin]], [[Zappies]], [[Elixir Golem]], [[Baby Dragon]], [[Skeleton Army]], Witch, P.E.K.K.A, [[Prince]], Balloon, [[Giant Skeleton]], [[Goblin Giant]], [[Hunter]], [[Electro Dragon]], Wall Breakers, Bowler, Cannon Cart, [[Mega Knight]], [[Ram Rider]], [[Miner]], [[Royal Ghost]], [[Ice Wizard]], [[Magic Archer]], [[Bandit]], Lava Hound, [[Night Witch]], and [[Fisherman]].&lt;br /&gt;
*The Hog Rider is 1 of 7 troops that can jump over the river, the others being Royal Hogs, [[Dark Prince]], Prince, Ram Rider, [[Mother Witch|Cursed Hog]], and [[Santa Hog Rider]].&lt;br /&gt;
*In the French, German, Spanish, Dutch, Turkish, Arabic, Portuguese, Persian, Indonesian, and Malaysian language settings of the game, the Hog Rider's name translates to &amp;quot;Pig Rider&amp;quot;. In the Norwegian, Russian, Chinese, and Finnish language settings of the game, the Hog Rider's name translates to &amp;quot;Royal Boars&amp;quot;. In the Italian, Thai, Finnish and Vietnamese language settings of the game, the Hog Rider's name translates to &amp;quot;Wild Boar Tamer&amp;quot;, &amp;quot;Wild Boar Rider&amp;quot;, and &amp;quot;Hog Knight&amp;quot; respectively.&lt;br /&gt;
*The Hog Rider bears more than a passing resemblance to [[wikipedia:Mr._T|Mr. T]] and [https://streetfighter.fandom.com/wiki/Zangief Zangief] from Street Fighter.&lt;br /&gt;
*His description is based on the Clash of Clans [https://youtu.be/XH3Xu1-cvII Ride of the Hog Riders commercial].&lt;br /&gt;
**From his description, it is implied that the [[Arenas|Arena]] has doors leading to it.&lt;br /&gt;
*When the Hog Rider is deployed, he will occasionally yell &amp;quot;''Hog Riderrrrr!''&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
**The Hog Rider is 1 of 22 cards that speak distinct words when on the field, the others being [[Mini P.E.K.K.A.]], Wizard, P.E.K.K.A., Dark Prince, Bowler, [[Electro Wizard]], [[Princess]], Ice Wizard, Magic Archer, [[Lumberjack]], Fisherman, [[Super Mini P.E.K.K.A.]], Santa Hog Rider, [[Super Magic Archer]], [[The Log]], [[Party Rocket]], [[Party Hut]], [[Golden Knight]], [[Skeleton King]], Archer Queen, and the [[Terry]].&lt;br /&gt;
*In Hog Mountain, 2 Hog Rider statues can be seen behind the enemy's [[King's Tower]].&lt;br /&gt;
*The [[Path of Legends|Master 2 League]] badge resembles a Hog Rider's hammer.&lt;br /&gt;
*The Hog Rider is featured in non-Clash games. More specifically:&lt;br /&gt;
**The Hog Rider is featured as [https://brawlstars.fandom.com/wiki/Carl?file=Carl_Skin-Hog_Rider.png a character skin for Carl] in Brawl Stars.&lt;br /&gt;
**The Hog Rider, along with the Barbarians, Goblins, Giant, Valkyrie, Wizard, Witch, P.E.K.K.A, and the Archer Queen, is featured as a non-playable opponent in [https://www.chess.com/ Chess].&lt;br /&gt;
*The Hog Rider is the subject of a few [[Emotes]].&lt;br /&gt;
**It is also 1 of 3 cards in which an Emote it is the subject of relates to one of its [[Star Points|Star Levels]] (Emote 155), the others being the [[Elite Barbarians]] (Emote 188) and [[Rocket]] (Emote 217).&lt;br /&gt;
*The Hog Rider was featured in the winning [[Battle Decks|decks]] of multiple Clash Royale Tournaments. More specifically:&lt;br /&gt;
**The Hog Rider was featured in the winning deck of the [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VxEzjdKQ4HA Clash Royale Helsinki Tournament], by a player called Jason.&lt;br /&gt;
***In the [[Training Camp]], Trainer Jason uses the same deck as a reference to this player.&lt;br /&gt;
**The Hog Rider was featured in the winning deck of the [https://youtu.be/LWQjS0e6iiE Super Magical Cup Tournament], by a player called CMcHugh.&lt;br /&gt;
*His Star Level 3 skin is not the same as it is shown in the [https://youtu.be/FBRWUwm0_gY Star Levels commercial]. In the commercial, he has a fully golden beard mustache and mohawk, whereas in-game only his mohawk is golden.&lt;br /&gt;
*Despite the Damage Dealer [[Card Mastery]] task mentioning that the Hog Rider can deal damage to troops or [[:Category:Building Cards|buildings]], he cannot progress the task by dealing damage to troops.&lt;br /&gt;
**The Hog Rider is 1 of 5 troops that cannot deal damage to other troops whatsoever, the others being the [[Royal Giant]], Giant, Royal Hogs, and Elixir Golem.&lt;br /&gt;
*Before the Hog Rider's card release, the Hog Rider's damage was decreased by 5%.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{Navigation|Card}}&lt;br /&gt;
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[[fr:Chevaucheur de cochon]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[de:Schweinereiter]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[es:Montapuercos]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[it:Domatore di cinghiali]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[ja:ホグライダー]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[ko:호그 라이더]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[ru:Всадник_на_кабане]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[zh:野猪骑士]]&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>I torture furries and take them to the fuhrer</name></author>	</entry>

	<entry>
		<id>//en.wikifur.com/wiki/Megaplex</id>
		<title>Megaplex</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://en.wikifur.com/wiki/Megaplex"/>
				<updated>2023-09-11T00:17:36Z</updated>
		
		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;I torture furries and take them to the fuhrer: {{Protection}}{{MagicWords}}{{CoCLink}}  {{Card Infobox|Cost=4|Rarity=Rare|Type=Troop|Arena=Builder's Workshop|ReleaseDate=4 January 2016}} {{Quote|Fast melee troop that targets buildings and can jump over the river. He followed the echoing call of &amp;quot;Hog R&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;{{Protection}}{{MagicWords}}{{CoCLink}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{Card Infobox|Cost=4|Rarity=Rare|Type=Troop|Arena=Builder's Workshop|ReleaseDate=4 January 2016}}&lt;br /&gt;
{{Quote|Fast melee troop that targets buildings and can jump over the river. He followed the echoing call of &amp;quot;Hog Riderrrrr&amp;quot; all the way through the Arena doors.}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The Hog Rider is a {{Rarity|Rare}} [[Cards|card]] that is unlocked from the [[Arenas|Builder's Workshop (Arena 5)]]. It spawns a fast, single-target, [[:Category:Building Cards|building]]-targeting, melee, ground [[:Category:Troop_Cards|troop]] with high hitpoints and high damage. He is able to jump over the river. He appears as a man with brown eyebrows, a beard, a mohawk, and a golden body piercing in his left ear who is riding a hog. A Hog Rider card costs 4 [[Elixir]] to deploy.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Strategy==&lt;br /&gt;
*When he is jumping over the river, he cannot be targeted by any ground attacking units. [[The Log]] and [[Earthquake]] will fail to damage a Hog Rider while he is jumping. Air [[:Category:Troop Cards|troops]] can still attack him though, and the [[Inferno Tower]] and [[Inferno Dragon]] will continue to ramp up their damage.&lt;br /&gt;
*When countering the Hog Rider, using [[:Category:Building Cards|buildings]] would be your best bet. But be wary, as the offender will usually play around it with [[cards]] such as Earthquake. Air swarms such as [[Minion Horde]] can also help due to the Hog Rider's usual support cards not countering them.&lt;br /&gt;
**On the offender's side, a powerful move is to accompany him with an Earthquake, obliterating almost every building, and also grounded swarms. To a lesser extent, [[Lightning]] could also be used, retaining the same point of almost destroying every building while also crippling troops such as the [[Wizard]] or the [[Hunter]].&lt;br /&gt;
*Using The Log to predict a [[Skeleton Army]] or even a [[Tombstone]] will let your Hog Rider keep most of his hitpoints and your opponent may not answer in time, letting your Hog Rider connect to the [[:Category:Crown Towers|Tower]].&lt;br /&gt;
*The Hog Rider can be paired with the [[Lumberjack]] as both a swarm bait and damage combo. It is a very fast combo with an extremely high damage output potential, so the defender will likely try to counter it with a swarm. If this happens, the attacker should use a [[:Category:Spell Cards|spell]] like [[Arrows]] to render the defender poetically defenseless. If they manage to defeat the Lumberjack, the dropped [[Rage]] will make the Hog Rider even more dangerous than it normally is.&lt;br /&gt;
**A fast and deadly combination is the Hog Rider and [[Mini P.E.K.K.A.|Mini P.E.K.K.A]] combo. Both units are fast but the Mini P.E.K.K.A does much more damage and does not attack only buildings so the Mini P.E.K.K.A can deal with troops like the [[Executioner]] and [[Musketeer]] (keep in mind that such troops will rarely be used to counter the hog rider, so this combo may not be as strong as others listed) However, this combo can be defeated with swarms like Skeleton Army due to the mini P.E.K.K.A's single target, or by the opponent kiting the mini P.E.K.K.A with a small troup like [[Skeletons]] to deal with the hog rider alone. They are also unable to target air troops, so the Minion Horde can stop this easily.&lt;br /&gt;
*A Hog Rider combined with a [[Goblin Barrel]] can be awkward for the opponent to defend against. Timing it so that the Hog Rider is tanking the tower shots for the [[Goblins]] is the most effective way to deal damage.&lt;br /&gt;
**A [[Barbarian Barrel]] can shut this down with minimal Tower damage for a positive [[Elixir]] trade, as long as the Goblin Barrel was placed directly on the Tower. Use another card (such as a [[Cannon]]) to counter the Hog Rider if necessary.&lt;br /&gt;
*His fast movement speed can boost forward mini tanks like an [[Ice Golem]] in a push. At the same time, he can also function as a tank for lower-hitpoint troops such as Goblins as he still has a fair amount of health. However, the Hog Rider struggles with swarms, as they can damage him down and defeat him quickly while obstructing his path, due to his inability to target troops. [[Barbarians]] in particular can fully counter him without very strict timing on the defender's part, though they are vulnerable to spells. Swarm cards like Skeleton Army, [[Goblin Gang]], and Minion Horde can also very easily counter him, although with the same weakness.&lt;br /&gt;
**Use this to your advantage by placing a bulky swarm killer in front of the Hog Rider (eg. Ice Golem, [[Valkyrie]]) so that the Hog Rider can transport the troop to the Tower faster and also get protection from swarms in return&lt;br /&gt;
*Most cheap swarms complement the Hog Rider well, as they are nearly as fast as him and usually force more than one card out of the opponent's hand.&lt;br /&gt;
*The Hog Rider in conjunction with the [[Freeze]] can surprise the opponent and allow the Hog Rider to deal much more damage than anticipated, especially if the opponent's go-to counter is a swarm, or swarms are their only effective counter to him. Skeletonsand [[Bats]] will immediately be defeated by the spell, while [[Spear Goblins]], Goblins, and [[Minions]] will be at low enough health to be defeated by a follow up small spell. &lt;br /&gt;
**Against non-swarm troops, it can deal a lot of damage during the freeze time, but this can allow the opponent to set up a massive counterpush. For this reason, players should either only go for a Hog Rider + Freeze when they have other units backing it up from a counterattack, or if the match is about to end and they need to deal as much damage as possible. The exception to this is an [[Elixir Collector]] placed in front of the [[King's Tower]]. If a Hog Rider placed at the bridge, he can destroy the Elixir Collector for a positive Elixir trade, though the damage from both [[Princess Towers]] will usually mean he does not survive to deal any damage to them. However, if the opponent sends in defending troops, it can be an opportunity to gain spell damage value.&lt;br /&gt;
*It is obviously not a good idea to send in a Hog Rider simply to destroy a building, especially if it is the only building targeting unit available, as defeating Crown Towers becomes substantially more difficult. Spells, long-range troops, or simply waiting out the lifetime of the building are more effective.&lt;br /&gt;
**In a [[Battle Decks|deck]] with several low-cost cards, it might be worth it to simply send the Hog Rider against one building. These decks, called &amp;quot;cycle decks&amp;quot;, shuffle their card rotation quick enough, that they will arrive to their next Hog Rider before the next Hog Rider counter arrives in the opponent's card rotation.&lt;br /&gt;
*When there are buildings placed in the middle to counter the Hog Rider, understanding the placement of the Hog Rider and the type of building placed can help the Hog Rider to bypass certain buildings.&lt;br /&gt;
**Passive buildings such as spawners have a larger hitbox than defensive buildings; which means that if a passive building was placed 3 tiles away from the river in the middle of the opponent's side, then it is impossible for the Hog Rider to bypass that placement. He'll just be pulled.&lt;br /&gt;
**Defensive buildings have a smaller hitbox than a passive building, which means if that if a defensive building was placed three tiles away from the river in the middle of the opponent's side, a Hog Rider placed at the very left or right side of the Arena may be able to bypass it due to its smaller hitbox.&lt;br /&gt;
**If the player has a building already placed down in the center of the arena, and the opponent tries to bypass it with a Hog Rider at the edge of the [[Arenas|Arena]], they can use certain air troops to push the Hog Rider towards the building as it jumps over the river, effectively denying the bypass attempt. They must be already hovering over the correct placement, as very quick reflexes are required to correctly perform this technique.&lt;br /&gt;
***For Bats, [[Skeleton Dragons]], and Minion Horde, they should be placed right in front of the Hog Rider as soon as it is deployed.&lt;br /&gt;
***For Minions, [[Skeleton Barrel]], [[Mega Minion]], [[Flying Machine]], [[Electro Dragon]], [[Baby Dragon]], [[Inferno Dragon]], [[Balloon]], and [[Lava Hound]], stagger the above placement one tile to the right if the Hog Rider is placed on the left side of the Arena, and vice versa.&lt;br /&gt;
**They can also use ground troops to achieve the same result. Something like an Ice Golem deployed at the Hog Rider’s landing spot will obstruct his path and force him to go around the unit, which causes him to be closer to the building instead of the Crown Tower.&lt;br /&gt;
*The Hog Rider can kite Very Fast non-building targeting troops due to his own Very Fast speed and building only targeting if he is placed on the fourth tile from the bridge, slightly into the opposite lane. He can also stall grounded units when placed right at the bridge. He will pull them towards him while deploying, and then be untargetable by them when he jumps over the bridge. After landing, he will pull them back. This can be useful when the player needs to deal damage in the same lane they are defending. It will also help separate troops behind a tank in a large push.&lt;br /&gt;
*A very powerful combo is the Hog Rider, the Musketeer, and the Valkyrie, typically referred to as the Trifecta. The Musketeer will defend against most troops, while the Valkyrie can protect her and the Hog Rider from swarms or high damage units. The Hog Rider is used to deal damage to the tower. However, this is for a whopping 12 Elixir.&lt;br /&gt;
**This can be effectively countered by Lightning, one-shotting the Musketeer and severely damaging both the Valkyrie and Hog Rider. The Minion Horde is also effective, but the enemy can Zap them and the Musketeer will one-shot them all. Even if the Musketeer is defeated, the Hog Rider and Valkyrie will have enough time to severely damage the Tower. [[P.E.K.K.A.|P.E.K.K.A]] can hard counter this strategy allowing relatively low damage and being able to start a counterpush for a 5 Elixir advantage.&lt;br /&gt;
**The Hog Rider should be placed behind the Valkyrie to give it a boost so that it stays in front of the Hog Rider, protecting it.&lt;br /&gt;
*Pairing the Hog Rider with the Balloon can deal devastating damage. If executed properly, the Hog Rider will act as a tank while the Balloon threatens to deal massive damage. The Hog Rider can also destroy any buildings attempting to slow down the combo. However, this combo is very vulnerable to swarms and anti-air cards as they only target buildings. Additionally, they are easy to separate, due to the disparity in move speeds. Alternatively, the Hog Rider and the Balloon can be played in different lanes to spread the opponent's defenses thin. However, a building or [[Tornado]] can bring them back together for an easier defense.&lt;br /&gt;
*A solid play is to deploy the Hog Rider at the bridge as soon as the match starts or when you reach 10 Elixir which is safer. If the opponent does not react fast enough or has a bad starting hand, the Hog Rider will deal a significant amount of damage to the [[Princess Towers|Princess Tower]]. This can also allow the player to quickly scout the opponent's deck if they happen to react to him fast enough.&lt;br /&gt;
*A [[Hunter]] can kill the Hog Rider in 2 hits if placed right on top of it. However, if the opponent places something in front of the Hog Rider, the Hunter's splash will transfer overkill damage to said card.&lt;br /&gt;
*A good placement and timing with [[Guards]] and The Log will fully counter the Hog Rider, canceling all Hog hits. This works with Goblins as well.&lt;br /&gt;
*A Tornado placed on the second tile front of the player's [[King's Tower]] and staggered two tiles towards the Princess Tower will activate it without any damage dealt to the Princess Tower, helping them in defending future pushes. This can also be a method of mitigating all damage dealt to a Princess Tower, but doing this more than three times may result in the King's Tower's health being low enough to be targeted directly, opening up the possible threat of a back door three crown. Make sure to avoid this by stopping the tornado's if your king tower is at low enough health.&lt;br /&gt;
*A [[Fisherman]] timed perfectly can pull a Hog Rider without it dealing damage, activating the King's Tower. When it  has already been activated, put the Fisherman closer to the river rather than the King's Tower so the Hog Rider will be pulled to a safer location for you.&lt;br /&gt;
*Using a [[Rocket]] on a Hog Rider is sometimes a good play, especially if you do not have a good response in hand or if you can clip something else along with the Hog Rider.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;center&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;div id=&amp;quot;unit-statistics&amp;quot; class=&amp;quot;table-back&amp;quot;&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
{{Statistics}}{{StatusEffects}}&lt;br /&gt;
{| class=&amp;quot;wikitable&amp;quot; id=&amp;quot;unit-attributes-table&amp;quot; style=&amp;quot;width:100%; text-align:center;&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
! scope=&amp;quot;col&amp;quot; |Cost&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;{{Icon|I=Elixir}}&lt;br /&gt;
! scope=&amp;quot;col&amp;quot; |Hit Speed&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;{{Icon|I=Damage Speed}}&lt;br /&gt;
! scope=&amp;quot;col&amp;quot; |Speed&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;{{Icon|I=Speed}}&lt;br /&gt;
! scope=&amp;quot;col&amp;quot; |Deploy Time&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;{{Icon|I=Deploy Time}}&lt;br /&gt;
! scope=&amp;quot;col&amp;quot; |Range&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;{{Icon|I=Range}}&lt;br /&gt;
! scope=&amp;quot;col&amp;quot; |Target&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;{{Icon|I=Targets}}&lt;br /&gt;
! scope=&amp;quot;col&amp;quot; |Count&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;{{Icon|I=Troop Count}}&lt;br /&gt;
! scope=&amp;quot;col&amp;quot; |Transport&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;{{Icon|I=Transport}}&lt;br /&gt;
! scope=&amp;quot;col&amp;quot; |Type&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;{{Icon|I=Type}}&lt;br /&gt;
! scope=&amp;quot;col&amp;quot; |Rarity&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;{{Icon|I=Rarity}}&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
|4||1.6 sec||Very Fast (120)||1 sec||Melee: Short (0.8)||Buildings||x1||Ground||[[:Category:Troop Cards|Troop]]||{{Rarity|Rare}}&lt;br /&gt;
|}&lt;br /&gt;
{| class=&amp;quot;wikitable&amp;quot; id=&amp;quot;unit-statistics-table&amp;quot; style=&amp;quot;width:100%; text-align:center;&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
! scope=&amp;quot;col&amp;quot; |Level&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;{{Icon|I=Level}}&lt;br /&gt;
! scope=&amp;quot;col&amp;quot; |Hitpoints&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;{{Icon|I=Hitpoint}}&lt;br /&gt;
! scope=&amp;quot;col&amp;quot; |Damage&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;{{Icon|I=Damage}}&lt;br /&gt;
! scope=&amp;quot;col&amp;quot; |Damage per second&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;{{Icon|I=DPS}}&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
|3||800||150||93&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
|4||880||165||103&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
|5||968||181||113&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
|6||1,064||199||124&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
|7||1,168||219||136&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
|8||1,280||240||150&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
|9||1,408||264||165&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
|10||1,544||289||180&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
|11||1,696||318||198&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
|12||1,864||349||218&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
|13||2,048||384||240&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
|14||2,248||421||263&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
|15||2,472||463||289&lt;br /&gt;
|}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{StatisticsSubheader|Card Mastery}}&lt;br /&gt;
{| class=&amp;quot;wikitable&amp;quot; style=&amp;quot;width:100%; text-align:center;&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
! width=&amp;quot;25%&amp;quot; |Type&lt;br /&gt;
! width=&amp;quot;10%&amp;quot; |Level/Tier&lt;br /&gt;
! width=&amp;quot;40%&amp;quot; |Objective&lt;br /&gt;
! width=&amp;quot;25%&amp;quot; |Rewards&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
| rowspan=&amp;quot;3&amp;quot; |Damage Dealer &amp;lt;br&amp;gt; [[File:Damage Dealer.png|50x50px]]&lt;br /&gt;
|1&lt;br /&gt;
|Deal a total of 85,000 Damage to enemy [[:Category:Troop Cards|Troops]] or [[:Category:Building Cards|buildings]]&lt;br /&gt;
|100 {{BASEPAGENAME}} cards&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;50 {{Icon|I=XP}}&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
|2&lt;br /&gt;
|Deal a total of 250,000 Damage to enemy Troops or buildings&lt;br /&gt;
|4,000 {{Icon|I=Gold}}&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;50 {{Icon|I=XP}}&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
|3&lt;br /&gt;
|Deal a total of 420,000 Damage to enemy Troops or buildings&lt;br /&gt;
|150 {{Icon|I=Gem}}&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;50 {{Icon|I=XP}}&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
| rowspan=&amp;quot;3&amp;quot; |Tower Tapper &amp;lt;br&amp;gt; [[File:Tower Tapper.png|50x50px]]&lt;br /&gt;
|1&lt;br /&gt;
|Hit enemy [[:Category:Crown Towers|Crown Towers]] a total of 560 times&lt;br /&gt;
|6,000 {{Icon|I=Gold}}&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;125 {{Icon|I=XP}}&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
|2&lt;br /&gt;
|Hit enemy Crown Towers a total of 1,600 times&lt;br /&gt;
|100 {{Icon|I=Rare Wild Card}}&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;125 {{Icon|I=XP}}&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
|3&lt;br /&gt;
|Hit enemy Crown Towers a total of 2,800 times&lt;br /&gt;
|9,000 {{Icon|I=Gold}}&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;125 {{Icon|I=XP}}&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
| rowspan=&amp;quot;3&amp;quot; |Siege Weapon&lt;br /&gt;
|1&lt;br /&gt;
|Hit towers at least 10 times within a single [[Basics of Battle|battle]] a total of 80 times&lt;br /&gt;
|100 [[File:Banner Token.png|25px]]&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;175 {{Icon|I=XP}}&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
|2&lt;br /&gt;
|Hit towers at least 10 times within a single battle a total of 240 times&lt;br /&gt;
|125 [[File:Banner Token.png|25px]]&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;175 {{Icon|I=XP}}&lt;br /&gt;
|-&lt;br /&gt;
|3&lt;br /&gt;
|Hit towers at least 10 times within a single battle a total of 480 times&lt;br /&gt;
|150 [[File:Banner Token.png|25px]]&amp;lt;br&amp;gt;175 {{Icon|I=XP}}&lt;br /&gt;
|}&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;/div&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;/center&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==History==&lt;br /&gt;
2016&lt;br /&gt;
*The Hog Rider [[Cards|card]] was added with Clash Royale's game launch on 4/1/2016.&lt;br /&gt;
*On 29/2/2016, the [[Version History#March 2016 Update (29/2/2016)|March 2016 Update]], decreased the Hog Rider's sight range to 9.5 tiles (from 10 tiles). It also changed the Hog Rider's sound effects. Previously, his sound effects were identical to those of the [[Barbarians]].&lt;br /&gt;
*On 3/5/2016, the [[Version History#May 2016 Update (3/5/2016)|May 2016 Update]], increased the {{Rarity|Rare}} card Level cap to 11 (from 10). The update also fixed the “range bug”, which decreased the Hog Rider's range to 0.8 tiles (from 1.4 tiles), but his effective range was unchanged.&lt;br /&gt;
*On 21/6/2016, a [[Version History#Balance Changes (21/6/2016)|Balance Update]], decreased the Hog Rider's damage by 6%.&lt;br /&gt;
2017&lt;br /&gt;
*On 22/11/2017, a [[Version History#Maintenance%20Break%20(22/11/2017)|maintenance break]], temporarily removed the Hog Rider from the [[Touchdown]] [[:Category:Modes|mode]].&lt;br /&gt;
*On 12/12/2017, the [[Version History#Electrifying Update (12/12/2017)|Electrifying Update]], increased the Hog Rider’s attack time interval to 1.6 seconds (from 1.5 seconds) and his first attack time interval to 0.6 seconds (from 0.5 seconds).&lt;br /&gt;
2018&lt;br /&gt;
*On 20/6/2018, the [[Version History#Summer%202018%20Update%20(20/6/2018)|Summer 2018 Update]], moved the [[Arenas|Arena]] to unlock the Hog Rider from P.E.K.K.A's Playhouse to Goblin Stadium.&lt;br /&gt;
*On 5/9/2018, the [[Version History#September%202018%20Update%20(5/9/2018)|September 2018 Update]], changed it so that {{Rarity|Rare}} cards start at Level 3 and end at Level 13 (from 1 to 11).&lt;br /&gt;
2019&lt;br /&gt;
*On 26/11/2019, the [[Version History#End%20of%20November%202019%20Update%20(26/11/2019)|End of November 2019 Update]], removed the Hog Rider from [[Tournament/Special Event Challenges|Mega Deck]] Touchdown. It also added a card render to the Hog Rider's card info screen.&lt;br /&gt;
2021&lt;br /&gt;
*On 7/6/2021, the [[Version History#Summer%202021%20Update%20(7/6/2021)|Summer 2021 Update]], moved the Arena to unlock the Hog Rider from Goblin Stadium to Spell Valley.&lt;br /&gt;
*On 2/9/2021, a maintenance break, changed the Hog Rider's card render.&lt;br /&gt;
*On 27/10/2021, the [[Version History#Champions%20Update%20(27/10/2021)|Champions Update]], increased the Level cap of all cards to 14 (from 13).&lt;br /&gt;
2022&lt;br /&gt;
*On 26/10/2022, the [[Version History#2022%20Quarter%203%20Update%20(26/10/2022)|2022 Quarter 3 Update]], moved the Arena to unlock the Hog Rider from Spell Valley to Builder's Workshop. It also added the Siege Weapon [[Card Mastery]] task for the Hog Rider.&lt;br /&gt;
2023&lt;br /&gt;
*On 19/6/2023, the [[Version History#Card%20Evolution%20Update%20(19/6/2023)|Card Evolution Update]], increased the Level cap of all cards to 15 (from 14).&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Gallery==&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;gallery&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
File:Old Hog Rider card render.png|Hog Rider's card render before 2/9/2021.&lt;br /&gt;
File:Hog Rider card render.png|Current card render.&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;/gallery&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Trivia==&lt;br /&gt;
*The hog that he rides is most likely a &amp;quot;''Phacochoerus africanus''&amp;quot; ([https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Common_warthog common warthog]). Common Warthogs are smaller than boars but more agile which might explain why the Hog Rider can move particularly fast. Warthogs also have tusks, which is like the Hog Rider's hog in Clash Royale.&lt;br /&gt;
*The Hog Rider is 1 of 19 [[:Category:Troop Cards|troops]] which first existed in Clash of Clans, the others being [[Minions]], [[Archers]], [[Goblins]], [[Skeletons]], [[Barbarians]], [[Giant]], [[Valkyrie]], [[Wizard]], [[Witch]], [[P.E.K.K.A.|P.E.K.K.A]], [[Balloon]], [[Golem]], [[Wall Breakers]], [[Bowler]], [[Cannon Cart]], [[Phoenix]], [[Lava Hound]], and the [[Archer Queen]].&lt;br /&gt;
**The Hog Rider is 1 of 4 {{Rarity|Rare}} troops which first existed in Clash of Clans, the others being the Giant, Valkyrie, and Wizard.&lt;br /&gt;
*The Hog Rider is one of the first troop [[cards]] to receive a card render, alongside the Archers, [[Knight]], Goblins, [[Bomber]], Skeletons, Barbarians, [[Bats]], [[Royal Recruits]], [[Skeleton Barrel]], [[Rascals]], [[Musketeer]], Giant, Valkyrie, Wizard, [[Flying Machine]], [[Royal Hogs]], [[Dart Goblin]], [[Zappies]], [[Elixir Golem]], [[Baby Dragon]], [[Skeleton Army]], Witch, P.E.K.K.A, [[Prince]], Balloon, [[Giant Skeleton]], [[Goblin Giant]], [[Hunter]], [[Electro Dragon]], Wall Breakers, Bowler, Cannon Cart, [[Mega Knight]], [[Ram Rider]], [[Miner]], [[Royal Ghost]], [[Ice Wizard]], [[Magic Archer]], [[Bandit]], Lava Hound, [[Night Witch]], and [[Fisherman]].&lt;br /&gt;
*The Hog Rider is 1 of 7 troops that can jump over the river, the others being Royal Hogs, [[Dark Prince]], Prince, Ram Rider, [[Mother Witch|Cursed Hog]], and [[Santa Hog Rider]].&lt;br /&gt;
*In the French, German, Spanish, Dutch, Turkish, Arabic, Portuguese, Persian, Indonesian, and Malaysian language settings of the game, the Hog Rider's name translates to &amp;quot;Pig Rider&amp;quot;. In the Norwegian, Russian, Chinese, and Finnish language settings of the game, the Hog Rider's name translates to &amp;quot;Royal Boars&amp;quot;. In the Italian, Thai, Finnish and Vietnamese language settings of the game, the Hog Rider's name translates to &amp;quot;Wild Boar Tamer&amp;quot;, &amp;quot;Wild Boar Rider&amp;quot;, and &amp;quot;Hog Knight&amp;quot; respectively.&lt;br /&gt;
*The Hog Rider bears more than a passing resemblance to [[wikipedia:Mr._T|Mr. T]] and [https://streetfighter.fandom.com/wiki/Zangief Zangief] from Street Fighter.&lt;br /&gt;
*His description is based on the Clash of Clans [https://youtu.be/XH3Xu1-cvII Ride of the Hog Riders commercial].&lt;br /&gt;
**From his description, it is implied that the [[Arenas|Arena]] has doors leading to it.&lt;br /&gt;
*When the Hog Rider is deployed, he will occasionally yell &amp;quot;''Hog Riderrrrr!''&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
**The Hog Rider is 1 of 22 cards that speak distinct words when on the field, the others being [[Mini P.E.K.K.A.]], Wizard, P.E.K.K.A., Dark Prince, Bowler, [[Electro Wizard]], [[Princess]], Ice Wizard, Magic Archer, [[Lumberjack]], Fisherman, [[Super Mini P.E.K.K.A.]], Santa Hog Rider, [[Super Magic Archer]], [[The Log]], [[Party Rocket]], [[Party Hut]], [[Golden Knight]], [[Skeleton King]], Archer Queen, and the [[Terry]].&lt;br /&gt;
*In Hog Mountain, 2 Hog Rider statues can be seen behind the enemy's [[King's Tower]].&lt;br /&gt;
*The [[Path of Legends|Master 2 League]] badge resembles a Hog Rider's hammer.&lt;br /&gt;
*The Hog Rider is featured in non-Clash games. More specifically:&lt;br /&gt;
**The Hog Rider is featured as [https://brawlstars.fandom.com/wiki/Carl?file=Carl_Skin-Hog_Rider.png a character skin for Carl] in Brawl Stars.&lt;br /&gt;
**The Hog Rider, along with the Barbarians, Goblins, Giant, Valkyrie, Wizard, Witch, P.E.K.K.A, and the Archer Queen, is featured as a non-playable opponent in [https://www.chess.com/ Chess].&lt;br /&gt;
*The Hog Rider is the subject of a few [[Emotes]].&lt;br /&gt;
**It is also 1 of 3 cards in which an Emote it is the subject of relates to one of its [[Star Points|Star Levels]] (Emote 155), the others being the [[Elite Barbarians]] (Emote 188) and [[Rocket]] (Emote 217).&lt;br /&gt;
*The Hog Rider was featured in the winning [[Battle Decks|decks]] of multiple Clash Royale Tournaments. More specifically:&lt;br /&gt;
**The Hog Rider was featured in the winning deck of the [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VxEzjdKQ4HA Clash Royale Helsinki Tournament], by a player called Jason.&lt;br /&gt;
***In the [[Training Camp]], Trainer Jason uses the same deck as a reference to this player.&lt;br /&gt;
**The Hog Rider was featured in the winning deck of the [https://youtu.be/LWQjS0e6iiE Super Magical Cup Tournament], by a player called CMcHugh.&lt;br /&gt;
*His Star Level 3 skin is not the same as it is shown in the [https://youtu.be/FBRWUwm0_gY Star Levels commercial]. In the commercial, he has a fully golden beard mustache and mohawk, whereas in-game only his mohawk is golden.&lt;br /&gt;
*Despite the Damage Dealer [[Card Mastery]] task mentioning that the Hog Rider can deal damage to troops or [[:Category:Building Cards|buildings]], he cannot progress the task by dealing damage to troops.&lt;br /&gt;
**The Hog Rider is 1 of 5 troops that cannot deal damage to other troops whatsoever, the others being the [[Royal Giant]], Giant, Royal Hogs, and Elixir Golem.&lt;br /&gt;
*Before the Hog Rider's card release, the Hog Rider's damage was decreased by 5%.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
{{Navigation|Card}}&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[fr:Chevaucheur de cochon]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[de:Schweinereiter]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[es:Montapuercos]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[it:Domatore di cinghiali]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[ja:ホグライダー]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[ko:호그 라이더]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[ru:Всадник_на_кабане]]&lt;br /&gt;
[[zh:野猪骑士]]&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>I torture furries and take them to the fuhrer</name></author>	</entry>

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