The Anthrocon Recruiting Song

The Anthrocon Recruiting Song is written primarily by Steve Simmons during and about the first few Anthrocons he worked. The purpose was both to document some of the fun of working the convention and to induce new staffers to join the security crew. He can be induced to sing it with proper application of beer or scotch and the loan of a guitar.

The melody is taken from the 1960s Mamas and Papas hit "Creeque Alley."


 * The Anthrocon Recruiting Song


 * Here come Rennie, wond'rin' if there's any-
 * Body who can work Anthrocon.
 * Kage's worried, says a lot of furries
 * Need DI to help 'em along.
 * There's a nice little suite where we crash
 * And Uncle Kage throws a helluva bash.
 * Froggie and Bear-e with savvy-wa-fair-ee
 * And a dozen DI soldiered along
 * When twelve hundred folks showed up at Anthrocon.


 * Kage says "Rennie, I wonder how many
 * Folks you'll have to do the contract next year?
 * We'll be bigger, I think you better figure
 * Double what you had to be clear.
 * We'll get a nice big suite where you crash.
 * And after all we throw a hell of a bash."
 * Rene screamed out for crew, Diana and Steve came thru,
 * And ev'ryone had too much to do
 * When two thousand folks showed up at Anthrocon.


 * Midnight movie's sounding pretty groovy
 * 'Specially since we get to watch too.
 * Rocky Horror, we need say no more nor
 * Wonder what the furries will do?
 * There's Janet, dammit, isn't she cute?
 * And Frankenfurter looks real good in a squirrel suit.
 * Simmons and Stein threw out the old lines
 * And learned a couple new ones too.
 * When two thousand folks sang out at Anthrocon.


 * Hirsutes, fur suits, wonder-what-they-were suits
 * This is something you gotta see (oh, my, my)
 * The fans all thank us, it's number 1 they rank us,
 * "Can I hug you, Mister See-Cure-I-Tee, ee-ee"
 * The elevators crew's getting fat
 * As pizza guys ply them with fruit juice and choc-late
 * Orderin' Chinese, ending up on our knees
 * It's only Friday, can we keep on?
 * When twenty-four hundred came to Anthrocon.


 * Derek's spritely, dances with delight be-
 * Tween the twirlin' glow sticks and glo-oo-oom
 * Furp steps lightly, makes his every nightly
 * Trip to the Emergency Room.
 * We're grazin' on the Super Sponsors nosh stocks,
 * Wearing out the red shirts, breaking out the toe socks.
 * Fur is a sensation, sweeping 'cross the nation,
 * Gatherin' fans as it moves along:
 * Three thousand folks next year at Anthrocon.