User:Headbandana

Born in New Hampshire, Kevin is a banadana wearing raccoon. One night, while taking out the trash (he lost that night's round of mortal combat) he found a raccoon scraping for nourishments and suddenly realized it was his long lost brother Rufus. Like a flash visions of Kevin's suppressed childhood as a wee coon suckling at his mothers teat with his 8 siblings came back to him. Deciding never again to return to the false man realm that had been sold to him by his Pinko father, Rufus led Kevin to their childhood home. There he reunited with his true family. For weeks they tried to teach him how to sniff out the best bits of E-Z-Cheez from a repugnant mountain of garbage. In this period he ate, played and slept like a raccoon, and even forgot English as Raccoon became his predominate form of communication. His life as a human, however, had rendered him ill-equipped to the scavenger lifestyle of his family. Time and time again Kevin would simply enter the restaurants that his family was trying to eat trash from and sit down and order a meal. In the end, Kevin became a burden upon his raccoon family and was banished to which he replied "Aw fuck it! Can I at least come chill with you guys on the weekends?". Upon much deliberation the raccoons took Kevin's tough circumstances into account and decided to allow him regular visits. Kevin now resides in New York.