News:Rascally raccoons stage strike at L.L. Bean

April Unionized raccoons at mail-order retailer L.L. Bean have gone on strike, taking hold of vital facilities earlier this week.

The workers were reportedly dissatisfied with working conditions, management, and compensation:

The raccoons say they will maintain control of the buildings until their demands are met. Details have not yet been disclosed to the public, but the spot price of shiny objects rose sharply on the news.

This follows last month's acts of sabotage at ExxonMobile and Shell plants in Torrence and Wilmington, California. One opossum and one raccoon died in the attacks, leading to a 7-cent increase in gasoline prices.

The troubled clothier and outdoor equipment vendor faced a similar crisis in Spring 1970, when a band of masked procyonids rushed the company's heavily-guarded complex in Freeport, Maine in search of food. Several hundred casualties resulted.

L.L. Bean was founded in 1912 as a manufacturer of waterproof boots. Annual sales were $1.47 billion in 2005.