Kashidom Daheo Nenakh

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Kashidom Daheo Nenakh

Kashidom Daheo Nenakh, better known as Jenna Berry or simply Jen, is an androgynous Belgian furry and were artist, born in 1985. Sie works in various media, including: classic, digital, design, web- and application development, and User Interface design.

Fursonas[edit]

Kashidom's main character and fursona, Jenna Berry

Kashidom's fursonas were originally divided into three distinct characters, illustrating the three aspects of hir mind:

  • Kashidom (full name Kashidom Daheo Nenakh [casheedom d'heyo nenak' ]) - A male werewolf, this was Kashidom's main character from youth. Kash is based on some of the physical similarities between werewolves in books and Kashidom hirself: unibrow, heavy hair growth, equal-length middle and ring finger, and various other similarities. Kash was reshaped thrice until finally resulting in a pagan, bright-gray werewolf and some of the features were modified or dropped, while sie aged up. The first depictions of Kash were rather violent and filled with hate, disgust and morbid loathe towards hir fellow students and teachers. This is partly due to being forced into a male-patterned lifestyle during childhood and school. When sie was expelled from school, the images started to become brighter, friendlier and more nature-loving.
  • Nick (nik) - An androgynous anthro wolf, nick is merely the result of a coloration of a green-ish male wolf[1] by Kashidom. The nickname "Nick" is a derivation from hir real name, to suit the personal nature of this character, at the time. Since Buff-Jen was created, the character Nick is no longer in use.
  • Jenna (gen or yenna berry) - A female furry Wollie created in Second Life, she was the most noticeable change in Kashidom's history as an artist, as, between gray and white, a bright pink, utterly hyperactive puppy suddenly appeared. Originally, Jenna was one of the two natural sides of hir split personality - aside from simulations. Jenna's birthday was on February 13, 1987. Now, after both of hir personalities merged in 2008, due to hormone treatment (see the "Physical sex and gender" section on this page), sie still celebrates this birthday as a tribute to how Jenna positively influenced hir life. Jenna, as a character, was created in 2005, when Kashidom had first tried out the world of Second Life as Ret Gretzky, an account that was donated to hir by a friend, and on May 26, 2006, sie created hir own account, Jenna Berry, which is still in use and is also the source of Jenna's last name, Berry.
  • Buff-Jen - An androgynous weredog variant of Jen(na) that was originally created by Kashidom's friend, Miqu, and is now hir official main character. This character has a large number of golden retriever traits, compared to the originally collie-based Jenna.

Art[edit]

Kashidom has been an artist since summer 2002, officially October 29, 2002, and uses the variety of artist communities, such as deviantART and Inkbunny, to expose hir works to the broad public of the internet. There were also a few auctions on FurBid. Hir work is mainly digital, because sie uses the computer nearly all the time for any applicable purpose.

Even though Kashidom has a broad collection of art materials, it's rare for hir to upload any real media pieces. This is mainly because sie rarely works with these media and techniques. In the past, before sie had a tablet, sie made nearly all hir artwork in real media, with the use of pencils, aquarelle paint and ink. It is rare for hir to work on canvas.

Kashidom has worked with a broad set of art programs, tools and media which results in a wide range of experience. Learning new techniques and styles has always been a key procedure in hir art, sometimes resulting in a dramatic change from one work to the next. This is most noticeable when looking at hir website designs and interfaces. In one night, sie claims to be able to learn a programming language, change a basic design into a professional design or redo an entire design image. This is another result of hir compulsive behavior towards hobbies, which often lead to many hours without physical activity, sleep or nutrition, often exceeding 24 hours.

Styles[edit]

In the past, Kashidom has had a lot of art styles, copying anything sie liked, regardless of content or copyright. Now sie only copies parts of the images, instead of the images as a whole, and sie draws everything from own hand. Sie didn't get into trouble for the copying of any styles as to date. However, sie received a complaint about the coloration of an image[2], once.

Kashidom loves to work in different themes, styles and poses to explore and learn new things.

Hobbies[edit]

Kashidom often appears as a "smart ass," knowing a variety of things, but only a few intricately. This comes from hir interest in learning. Sie likes to learn as many hobbies as possible, hoping to one day know enough to live completely independent.

Starflight[edit]

This learning obsession came from a strange angle: StarFlight[3], a movie about a commercial atmosphere plane, which was designed to fly to the edge of space and return safely. As the plane hit a piece of rocket debris, its hull was punctured and it lost orbit. When a board attendant tried to transfer from the plane to a Space Shuttle, he forgot to push the "lock" button, to release the door mechanism, before closing it. This error, by lack of knowledge, killed the man as the capsule detached and drifted into space.

With this in mind, Kashidom always tries to prevent disaster, by trying to be being one step ahead. Sometimes, this fails and then sie studies the subject thoroughly, until sie knows every detail about what happened and why it went wrong, in an attempt to prevent future recurrence.

Computer nerd[edit]

Kashidom is often found around computers, either repairing or using them. Sie is a high-level programmer and manages to do all of the tasks sie needs to do on a computer to restore, fix, patch or wipe it from unwanted software. With computers, sie has unlimited patience, only giving up after extended periods of stressful issues, mishaps and failure.

Computer history[edit]

Kashidom has used many Operating Systems, including Microsoft's Windows 3.11, 3.12, NT 4.0, 95, 98 (including Second Edition), Me, 2000, xp, Vista and 7, but also RedHat Fedora Core 4 and 5. Hir favorite remains Apple's Mac OS, of which sie used Mac OS X 10.4 "Tiger", 10.5 "Leopard", 10.6 "Snow Leopard" and currently uses 10.8 "Mountain Lion".

Computer linguistics[edit]

After studying simple HTML through various websites[4] and books, Kashidom learned a lot more computer~ or programming languages. Sie prefers to know everything about one language until the point where advancing is impossible, before moving on to learning the next one. Sie only learns what sie needs, to reach hir goal and complete the application sie is working on. If an application is getting too complex or broken, sie starts all over with the work, trying to build it up in a different way, to complete it after all.

Kashidom has worked with plenty of computer languages, including web-based ((X)HTML, CSS, JavaScript, ASP, PHP, SQL), as well as some console scripting (MS-DOS Batch, JScript, VBScript) and some machine-specific languages, such as INF/INI and Registry Scripts on Microsoft's Windows. Sie has tried to work with system programming languages, such as C, Q-Basic and Visual Basic and Cocoa but has not been very active with these, as they are slow to learn, being non-visual and/or compiling languages.

Development achievements[edit]

Kashidom has been a member of a few JavaScript-HTML-based Operating Systems projects on the internet, but as time passed these projects were dismissed or given up on, and a few of these projects became a basis for Social Networks. Most of hir co-developers of such projects were focusing on server-side Operation, while sie was more interested in client-side Operation. Sie developed almost all of hir solo projects and programs for Windows, only because this was "the most insecure Operating System available at the time, allowing us to write nearly anything we wish to execute, resulting in a fully functional application."

Freelife[edit]

Hoping to finish a release, one day, Kashidom also started working on hir own Operating System, codenamed Freelife. This project was given up not very long after starting development. The basic engine was created and on top of that was a version entitled Freelife NP, where "NP" stands for NewProgram edition. This name was derived from a website-based program sie made, that was displayed to the public of a developer forum[5]. The feedback on NewProgram was so positive, sie immediately started working on a new version, with more powerful treats and abilities. Unfortunately, both versions were lost, after a systems crash, and were never recovered. However, the result and design of the Freelife project still exist.

Pine[edit]
The Pine logo, as designed by Kashidom

Even while Freelife NP was still unfinished, Kashidom soon began developing another website-based Operating System project, codenamed Pine OS, which was similar to but more powerful and complete than Freelife NP. Even though more powerful and with a better finish, the only completely designed and built application was its installation program. The project still stands until today and is closed from the grand public. Until further notice, the development has stopped entirely.

Organisations[edit]

The logo of the Howling Wolf Company, as designed by Kashidom
  • The Howling Wolf Company - Founded October 29, 2002, Kashidom and a few others released their projects throughout it, and works to the grand public of the internet, much like an online community, such as deviantART, only smaller and far less popular.The Howling Wolf Company eventually grew out, adding website design and general design to its productions. The intended mini-community grew out so much that it became too large to stay on a low-space server and had to move to a bigger one. Better hosting and an own domain-name[6] were a must-have and were purchased. Unfortunately, the service provider was too expensive and was canceled again after nearly a year of service.
The logo of Mantha Designs, as designed by Kashidom
  • Mantha Designs incorporated - On July 14, 2006 (based on earliest logo,) Kashidom had renamed the company to Mantha Designs[7]. This was because of financial instability by a company named Howling Wolf (without the Company at the end,) a similar name to that of the Howling Wolf Company. This caused the fund raiser of Howling Wolf to contact hir about payments to bills that were never made. To finish this off once and for all, sie decided to rename the company, in agreement with some of the team members, but the majority of the team separated. As of May 2011, Mantha Designs has been resolved and Kashidom now programs only casually.
  • Fruitcake Magazines - Kashidom -along with hir friend, Miqu, founded another company, to publish various magazines. One of them is Fluff Magazine,[8] featuring news and updates in- and outside of the furry fandom as well as a comic named "Fluff!", following the daily life of Jenna, Miqu and supporting characters. The name Fruitcake refers to two mutual characteristics between both Miqu's character Maria and Kashidom's character Jen(na). It is based on the common verbal expression of "being a fruitcake" ("being crazy") and their fruity-flavored perfume. As of January 2009, Fruitcake Magazines has been resolved.

Social influences[edit]

Physical sex and gender[edit]

For the largest part of hir life, Kashidom experienced hir genders in a separate way, meaning that hir male and female side were differentiated from each other. However, sie was never heterosexual, regardless of gender. The reason for this is assumed to prevent reproduction. This orientation might change when, and if, sie will be sterilised. Currently, sie remains homosexual towards shemale and masculine intersex people, without particular preference towards other sexes, but "preferably no vaginas".

Born an assumed boy, Kashidom was raised in the social lifestyle of a man-to-be, but sie started to doubt this lifestyle and didn't feel to fit well in hir own body, after the diagnosis of atypical gynecomastia, around age thirteen. When doctors advised to take extra testosterone to stop the development of mammary tissue, both sie and hir mother refused. Around age seventeen, testosterone took over and male development proceeded. Later, at age twenty-one, when this was legally possible in Belgium, sie consulted medical aid in support of hir feminine development with complementary hormone treatment, which stabilized a variety of diseases, conditions, restless mind, and further regularized hir life. Because of the hormone supplement, hir mind fused from two opposite sides into a single one, albeit androgynous.

Analog mind[edit]

Kashidom has a mental condition, best known as visual thinking, which leads hir to think in analog or computer logic, compared by hir as "multi-track machine logic vs. linear human logic", of which most people supposedly possess the latter. Because sie thinks in only absolute terms, this leads to static in social interaction with others and may cause conflicts. At the core of this problem, sie is convinced sie has no refined emotions, other than the basic five, and has to simulate the rest to be able to communicate better with other people. This is often dismissed by hir as "having no soul," derived from an explanation of a childhood teacher, who said that "everyone has emotions, because everyone has a soul."

Since hormone treatment, this condition has changed immensely and Kashidom is often able to feel true emotions, without the ability to shut them off. However, communication is still a problem, because of hir thinking in absolutes. Since 2012, due to an increase in hir hormone treatment, mainly testosterone suppression, sie is now able to experience these emotions as feelings, which often leads to sudden unexpected behavior. Sie is continuously trying to learn about these feelings, trying to understand and deal with them, which may come over as desperate or confused and further impacts and/or complicates hir social interaction, although not always negatively.

In October 2014, Kashidom has been diagnosed with borderline. Sie hirself acknowledges this disorder as being "the most accurate diagnosis of a disorder so far", with the overlapping signatures of autism, neurotic personality and automutilation sie has expressed throughout the years and also the recently (july 2014) discovered attachment issues that were key to a nervous breakdown sie suffered.

Spirituality[edit]

Kashidom, entranced at an electronic music party

Kashidom is, what sie calls, a "naturalist" and believes that sie "obtained" hir spirit after a near-lethal abusive event by hir father. Sie believes that hir soul and spirit left hir body and that someone else's spirit took its stead, which may explain where Jenna originates from.

According to Kashidom, everything in existence is equal and therefor "no one thing is worthier, because we're all the same energy and mass," based on science. If it can't be proven, hir observations and logic will determine if it is possible or can exist. Sie thinks that every event has influence on everything else, because everything in existence is connected and that every action has a price - good or bad. Sie often says that "everything in life is temporary" and "you should only bother with things you can prevent or fix".

Judges of Life[edit]

Kashidom believes in a modified version of Karma, in which every life form that dies will be tried before the Judges of Life, a divine group of spirits, who then value the lived life. The individual will then be judged for the actions during their lifetime and punished for their bad deeds with an adequate amount of suffering in their next life. This punishment is then scheduled, using fate and set in such a way that all suffering is scheduled, but when it happens, the finer details and the choices the individual makes are left up to the one living that life. As a reward for good conduct, the individual will live out a happy life, afterwards, adequate to the amount of good they did, despite finding out their purpose in life, in contrast to the individual who is just waiting for the end of their life. Once an individual finds their purpose and their life is "fulfilled", their body ceases to live and their spirit is tried again before the Judges of Life to prepare for its next life. The body is merely the same energy and mass as everything else in existence and is consumed by the environment after death. However, nothing fully ceases to exist and nothing is exclusively itself, but rather made up out of parts of the previously consumed.

Raving[edit]

Kashidom enjoys entrancement at electronic music parties. Sie abuses a sensitivity to alcohol, which causes various effects of psychedelic drugs, even after only a fairly small dose, such as a single serving of liquor or a strong beer.

Bad parenting[edit]

Because Kashidom supports nearly any choice people stand for, this would make hir unfit for parenting or other power positions, because people often make bad choices. Sie usually does not question the choice itself, or the person making it, and only asks about the reasons for deciding on that choice. This has gotten hir in trouble a few times, because parents or other powerful people are not always as open-minded as hir, especially related to bad choices and morals. Sie has even caused a couple of moral panics, in social groups and on public forums, often resulting in a ban.

Water allergy[edit]

Kashidom suffers a rare medical condition, which can only be explained as water allergy or aquagenic urticaria, where water-to-skin contact causes an annoying tingling sensation, itches, swelling and redness, with pinpoint needle-like stabs, most noticeable around the hips, back, lower legs, upper arms and between skin folds, where water may collect. It appears whenever water is able to absorb into the skin and is most fierce where hair is present. The sensations may last for up to six hours, except when treated with Ibuprofen which reduces the time to one or two hours. The natural crinkling of the skin, or hardening of the hairs, while drying up, often increases the experience. An actual diagnosis has not yet been determined, despite seeing countless doctors about the issue. Due to this allergry, intervals between showers or bathing sessions increase, because of the medications that sie uses to counter the effects, which have to be taken on strict timing related to showering, but are not always effective because of the variation in water sources. Because of this mix of medication, showering is limited to one session for every two weeks or less, to protect the liver and kidneys from damage. Actual treatment does not exist in Belgium. In the U.S., there is an experimental treatment for this condition, using Zantac.

As a direct result of this condition, Kashidom is rarely social and does not like to go out in rain or swim. Sie does not like to wear thick clothing in warm environments, to avoid sweating. However, since society around hir does not accept androgynous people, sie is often forced to wear covering clothing in any climate to avoid harassment or arrest, because Belgian law forbids gender bending.

Wollie[edit]

Wollies are a fictional hybrid canine breed, consisting of an even mix of wolf and collie characteristics. This breed usually has unnatural colors and smooth fur, which was Jenna's original intent. However, a very rare genetic mutation may lead to natural colors.

Later, Kashidom added golden retriever characteristics to hir character, Buff-Jen, which sie sometimes calls a "Golden Wollie", except for being pink.

References[edit]

  1. This character first appeared in "Old: PhotoShop experience nr 1" by Kashidom on deviantART (re-uploaded in 2006)
  2. "JenKitty (color)" by Kashidom on Fur Affinity
  3. StarFlight: The Plane That Couldn't Land on IMDb
  4. W3Schools is a resource to learn web development
  5. "SITE REVIEW: TheProgram - Howling Wolf Company" by Kashidom Nenakh on OZZU Webmaster Forum
  6. Howling Wolf Company.com (closed down, see the archive on the Internet Archive Wayback Machine)
  7. Matha Designs.net (closed down, see the archive on the Internet Archive Wayback Machine)
  8. Fluff Magazine Online (closed down)

External links[edit]

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